There is so much pressure to have someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve.  The concept of WE is everywhere- look at advertising, movies, television, and magazines.  Yet, wouldn’t it be liberating to think only of yourself and what you want? To go where you want to go, and buy what you like? When you are married, you may find most of your socializing happens as a couple.  But now is the time to re-imagine yourself.  You are going from a WE to a ME.  It is not always easy because society puts pressure on you to be a WE.  But have no fear.  You can do it, and you will find the fun you have been missing.

There is pleasure derived from being an independent ME, as opposed to a trapped WE.  Hold your head up high as you ask for a table for ONE at the restaurant where YOU want to go, book ONE seat on an airplane for the trip YOU dreamed about taking, or buy ONE movie ticket for the film YOU have been dying to see.  You did it.  You are moving on with your life.  You are not alone.  Many men and women who have been married, for what seems like a lifetime, are now starting a new life as a ME. 

You may become a WE again someday, but for now treasure your time as a ME.  You have newfound independence, which may have been lacking for a long time.  It may take a moment to truly appreciate being a ME.  You were so used to being a WE and you never gave it much thought that it would ever be any different.  It is just the way it was. Most people say that first year post-divorce is really the toughest, but then they somehow start to discover the new ME that has emerged from the old WE.  And they like it. 

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For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at or email us at