You are gung-ho to move forward with your divorce, but your spouse is dragging his/her feet. You have heard about the benefits of divorce mediation- it can save you time and money and is better for the kids.  Great, where can I sign up?  But when you call the divorce mediator you are told that mediation requires both husband and wife to attend together.  Your spouse has refused to accept that a divorce is happening and will not agree to any part of a divorce, including attending mediation sessions. Now what?

Divorce mediation requires both husband and wife to attend as opposed to litigation, where husband sees his lawyer, wife sees her lawyer, and the lawyers communicate with each other and then back to the clients.  In litigation, the spouses do not have to communicate at all.  It will cost them financially and emotionally, but conversing with one another is not required.  In mediation husband and wife are in the same room communicating directly with one another, making joint decisions about their divorce and future.  While the mediator is there to facilitate the process and help the couple reach agreements, mediation involves the couple talking openly and honestly about the issues and deciding for themselves (not a judge) how to resolve them.  If only one spouse is present, this process does not work.  So again, now what?

Here, in the United States, if you and your spouse do not agree about divorce, it doesn’t mean you have to stay married.  So if you choose to get divorced you can, even if your spouse opposes it.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we offer the option for one spouse to attend a single-session informational meeting that thoroughly explains the process of mediation, litigation, pro se, uncontested divorce and contested divorce in New Jersey.  We feel that knowledge is power and you will feel well informed and empowered to then return home and discuss these options with your spouse.  Your spouse may be more willing to cooperate with mediation when he/she realizes that the divorce will happen, one way or the other.  It benefits both of you, and the children, to minimize the hostility and expense of divorce.  Then you can both feel comfortable choosing divorce mediation. 

For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at or email us at