One of the hardest parts of any relationship is to meet the parents.  In a relationship with a significant other, the first impression by the parent sets the tone for their acceptance or rejection.  You want them to like you, trust you, and most of all, accept you and what you have to offer as a person to that significant person.   As a parent myself, I want only the best for my children, as any parent would.   

However, that first impression in most aspects may be for show and not reflect the real person.  So as a parent, wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall, to get the real characteristics of that person on a daily basis?  Of course you would.  You may or may not like what you see but at least you know the real person.

That also works when a first-time buyer introduces a home to their parents for approval.   The parents can either make or break that first timer from purchasing a home.   Without a doubt a parent wants the best for the children, and would not think of having them buy a “bad” house.  Sure the first-timer has seen several other homes prior to this one and believe it is the best one for them.  Consequently, if this is the first home that the parents have seen, and as much as the first-timer loves the home, do not expect an approval.  As a matter of fact, expect to be talked out of it.  “Are you sure this is the one?’ “Did you see enough homes to make a true determination?” “When we bought our first home, we had to look at least 50 first? “  “What about those neighbors we saw?”  “Don’t you think you want something larger, less expensive, a  different color?” “Can you afford the carrying costs?”  “What’s a matter, you don’t want to live closer to us?”

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So what is solution?  Don’t wait until “the House” is found to get parents involved.  Show the parents what is out there in the price range.   The parents will get a better sense of what is being offered and have a more intelligent perspective of “The House” for their children.  It has been awhile since the parent has bought their first home and by making them part of the entire process, the understand how it works in today’s real estate search and purchase, resulting in an approval. 

The parents also need to understand that they, too, were first time homebuyers and that the home they may be in now, does not compare to the home their children are looking at. (Everyone has to start somewhere.)  No home is perfect, especially the first home.

The secret to working with the parent’s of buyers is to realize that if they play a role in the buying process, they must be there from start to finish.  That includes the initial buyer consultation through to looking at available homes to help approve the home and even the contract signing.  The importance of the approval is immeasurable to the buyers.  The process has changed drastically.  This should not be just for the buyers and parents but also the Realtor to understand.   We all want our parent’s approval.  Therefore, the importance of the parent participation is to get all the facts and assist the buyers in making an intelligent decision.   Ponce it is complete, just like the bear family, everyone lives happily ever after. 

Looking to buy or sell, call Coccia Realty at 973-377-4400, or stop by their offices in the center of Madison at 49 Main Street.  Visit: for all your real estate searches.    We have been assisting families for over 50 years all there buying and selling needs for over 50 yearsFor any comments or questions  email me at