Many couples who want to divorce think that they need to wait until the timing is right.  “Just wait until the market picks up so we can sell our house for a better price” “Just wait until after the kids finish high school” “Just wait until after the trip we planned for this summer” “Just wait until after the holidays” “Just wait until after my parents visit”, etc.

Sometimes waiting is the right thing to do. And sometimes waiting for the perfect moment just makes the bad times last that much longer.  Truth is, just like there is no perfect time to have a baby, change jobs, or relocate, there is often no perfect time to divorce.  It is going to be stressful whenever it happens. 

Rather than search for the perfect moment, couples should try to take other steps to reduce the drama of divorce.  One way to do that is to choose divorce mediation rather than litigation.  In divorce mediation, the couple works together with an impartial mediator to reach an agreement on parenting, child support, spousal support and dividing assets.  Unlike litigation, which pits spouses against each other, the goal of mediation is to work together to come to a mutually-agreeable solution.  Couples who go through mediation often tell us, “this was much more painless than we expected.”  Mediation saves time and money and improves post-divorce relationships. 

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And the best part is, once the process is complete, the couple can put past problems behind them, and move forward with new fuller, more satisfying lives.  So, while no one knows when is the best time for divorce -- the best time for seeking a happier future may be now.

For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at or email us at