Conversations with Joan Herrmann

March 22, 2019

Ever make a hasty decision? I know I have. Whether it’s quickly reacting to someone’s behavior or statement, and forget hastiness with social media! This week’s column touches upon one of Joan’s personal experiences that pushed her into real growth—her divorce. She offers refreshing and maybe to ...

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Having expectations about meeting someone is probably quite common. I see it as a chance to really blow someone out of the water, but when it comes to me meeting someone else…well, that could be a different story. I have a diverse family, so long ago, my husband and I decided that it would be ...

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This week is an ‘oucher’ for me. Making a promise and then not fulfilling it is a matter of personal responsibility. And what Joan says here is important: those of us guilty of such things often do it with the best intentions. But I learned that’s just not good enough after you've let someone ...

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I recently had a text conversation in which I immediately got offended. Truth be known, I was wrong and the reason I was offended was because I was mad at myself, and I was taking it out on the person I wronged. This happens to all of us, as Joan explains. She never claims innocence on these ...

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Energy vampires. You would think it would be easy to move away from such types, but don’t beat yourself up. It’s not easy to move away from people who tend to be charming, convincing and successful. You just tire of it coming at your expense. Joan offers tips on how to end these relationships…for ...

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We're always told communication is the key to any relationship. We learn as babies to cry to get what we want, then we gradually hone our communication skills based on the response we get, and this, in turn, gets us the attention we want. And then...it gets all complicated. But it doesn't have to ...

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No date for Valentine’s Day? Don’t despair, Joan has the most well-known secret there is: many of us are alone. But the best part? It’s not that bad. Q. You’re currently unattached. Does it bother you on Valentine’s Day? Joan: I was watching television recently when it happened … I saw the ...

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Are you a control freak? Do you like everything to be in perfect order? Those of us who are control freaks have a difficult time when there is a mess in their surroundings, or for that matter, in life. Joan is just such a person. “Being a person who is addicted to certainty is manageable when ...

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Are you a giver? Most of those who are givers do anything possible for anyone, anytime. Joan has spent most of her life taking care of others, putting herself second, and sometimes, third, fourth or fifth. After many years, she found herself feeling hurt, rejected, used and resentful. She realized ...

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So often we spend our time waiting for something to happen, something good. We go through a trauma, a difficulty, something that changes our lives…and not seemingly, at the moment, for the better. So, in an effort to move on, we think, ‘ok, I’ve got this. I’m putting it behind me.’ But do we ...

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New year and new thoughts, or even new resolutions. But, are they really new? Have you found yourself spinning your wheels, resolving to do the same things each year only to find yourself in the same place on December 31? Joan understands this. She suggests a way to take that habit you don't ...

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There is a saying that crops up now and again that is often easier said than done, and that is, go for it! But in order to ‘go for it’, you have to know what you truly want. Joan has been discussing reflection and an end-of-year assessment over the last several weeks, all building toward ‘going ...

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Rush, rush, rush. How many more days, no hours, do we have to get everything done for our holiday? The clock is ticking and there are presents to wrap, desserts to bake, and, yes, we still have to work. Joan suggests taking a different kind of break from our busy lives and give thanks for our ...

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It seems like only yesterday we were making resolutions about all of the wonderful things we wanted to experience in the new year. And now, here we are reflecting back on how the year was lived. Sometimes looking back over a year can be difficult, especially if you have suffered a loss or things ...

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Social media has become a professional and personal communication tool so much so that most of us wonder how we ever got along without it. This week, Joan talks about how it can affect us, sometimes negatively, particularly around the holidays, and what we can do about it. Q. What’s your take on ...

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The holiday season is upon us. It’s a time when people gather to celebrate with those we love. As the song states, it can be the most wonderful time of the year. But, it also can be the loneliest. If you have lost a loved one or suffered a breakup with a spouse/significant other or friend, the ...

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Joan works with many leaders in the field of self-help/self improvement. She recently spoke with Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías, better known as Don Miguel Ruiz, a Mexican author of Toltec spiritualist and neoshamanistic texts. The Toltec Tradition is a philosophy that encourages a person to develop a ...

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The first season of “A Million Little Things” which airs on ABC television recently caught my attention after a friend recommended it. My friend was interested in the intricacies of all the things that can come up in life. But I noticed something different: suicide. The show is based around the ...

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October is breast cancer awareness month. It’s at a time like this that many people take a break from the hustle and bustle of daily life and turn their attention to something they don’t routinely think much about – cancer. Is there anything we can do about it? Or, are we just a victim of our ...

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Ever feel disposable? Maybe a friend, employer or spouse has become impatient with you and moved on. In the short term at least, it seems so much easier for them. It seems easier, although hurtful, for that friend, boss or spouse to rid themselves of the problem. Maybe you’ve done the ...

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No one wants to fail but we all do at some point or another. The key is not to let a "failure" (and who defines this anyway, as Joan points out) define you or distract you from your dream or a seemingly elusive goal. Joan talks about dusting yourself off and plowing through. Falling short is not an ...

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Whether you’re going through something difficult, or you want to share good news, it’s always better when there is a friend’s shoulder to cry on or a friend who is genuinely happy for you. Joan talks about the difference between those that are with us through thick and thin and those that come ...

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Whether you’re already divorced or just thinking about it, this is an honest look inside Joan’s personal story of how divorce affected her and how she continues to move through it. Just because you are out of the relationship does not mean the relationship is over, especially when you’re healing ...

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Is divorce a sentence to loneliness? It doesn't have to be if you take Joan's advice of surrounding yourself with people who see you for you...become a "singular sensation". Q. It has been reported that the divorce rate is approximately 50 percent. I know that you have experienced divorce ...

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Making better choices can happen as quickly as five seconds. Joan recently had the opportunity to speak with Mel Robbins, the creator of the Five Second Rule and author of The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work and Confidence with Everyday Courage. Q. What is the 5 second rule? Joan: ...

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Finding a silver lining from tragedy – blessings come in disguise. From Joan's personal experience, she will tell you your attitude determines how you view a situation and how you move through it. Attitude is altitude. Q. Tragedies come in all ways: the death of a loved one, divorce, the loss of ...

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What makes happy people happy? How can it be that someone who goes through a tragedy or lives in a horrible situation can be happy, while others who seem to have it all are miserable? In addition to this summer's celebrity suicides, including DJ and musician Avicii, fashion designer Kate Spade ...

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Most women, when they're young, believe men are the ones regularly seeking sexual intimacy. That's why later in life, for some male/female relationships, it becomes quite a surprise when it's the woman who is more interested than the man. Below, Joan taps into her bevvy of experts for ...

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There is great power in independent thought, although these days, it seems group think is what we seem to get. Just because you hear it on the news or from a pundit doesn't mean it's true. In this conversation, Joan takes a look at how we can train ourselves to think more independently and ...

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Confidence is an ever-elusive state of being. As a big New York Yankee baseball fan, I’ve often thought much of what they’ve achieved came with simply putting on the pinstripe uniform--after all, it’s backed by 27 World Series championships. One player that reminds me of this is former third ...

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