Dad in the Box

October 26, 2020

At long last, it is finally upon us. In a matter of days, Americans all over the country will venture forth to proudly exercise their individuality on the most anticipated day of this election year. I am, of course, referring to Halloween. This year the annual frightfest celebrating candy ...

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I missed Ada Lovelace Day, or ALD as it is respectfully referred to by technology geeks who speak in three letter acronyms. Ironically, I was on my computer on October 13th and it passed me by. It didn’t pop up on my Facebook events page and shamefully was not pre-coded into Google Calendar. And ...

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“EedleeedleBeeedleedleedleeDleldelbeeldeldleBedleeedlEelddlebedeleeedle . . .” - Eddie Van Halen guitar intro to Eruption I once tried to transcribe the Van Halen guitar solo from Michael Jackson’s hit Beat It on my Stratocaster electric guitar. After many hours of diligent repetition that made ...

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Zoo removes parrots from view after they kept swearing at guests. Fox News Parrots in wildlife park moved after swearing at visitors. CNN Parrots separated at British zoo after encouraging each other to curse. CBS News Presidential Debate: How the world’s media reacted. BBC Like a lot ...

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For Sale at Auction One pre-owned Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaur. Good condition. 188 original bones. Stands 13 ft high x 40 ft. long. Assembly required. Original box. Free shipping with Amazon Prime. Final sale only. No returns or exchanges. If you thought museums were the only venues for large ...

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At the risk of sounding political, I believe in science. I spent way too many hours subjecting my brain to a Math-O-Matic blender of science classes in school to discount it. Let’s face it, nobody would have made it that hard if there wasn’t some validity to it. Oh I believe in other ...

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If they didn’t wear masks in California before, they certainly do now. Smoke and ash obscure the dark orange skies as millions of acres burn out of control encroaching on homes and entire towns. It is the kind of apocalyptic event that makes me glad I live in New Jersey. But even so far away, it ...

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deanofstudents@tu.edu  -  Important Updates  -  Today 12:32 pm Dear TU Student, As some of you prepare for your return to campus and some of you prepare for your return to laptops at home, I am sure you have many questions about what to expect this school year at Transitory ...

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I am not a big fan of geometry. Of all of the math courses I suffered through in school, and there were a lot, bisecting circles and triangles was my least favorite. For some reason which I still can’t understand, I took a lot of math, including a desperation class in college I needed to ...

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"In matters of the heart it is always better to want something you don't have than to have something you don't want." ~ Patti LaBelle Something Old Breaking up is hard to do. Especially wearing a mask. Especially from six feet away. My daughter, after weathering separation from her first ...

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When everything “opened up” this summer I didn’t think it would include my mouth. But I probably should have perceived that at some point during this pandemic I would have to visit the dentist. Over the past six months I have gotten used to moving previously outsourced services in-house. For ...

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One of the many projects that I didn’t get to when the world locked down was dealing with the bins of legos that take up space in the closet. Legos were a staple in my house not all that long ago, and to this day walking across the carpet in bare feet brings back sharp memories of their ...

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Dear esteemed reader: I am so sorry for all of the hurt I have caused by my thoughtfully chosen words. You see, by hiding behind humor and sarcasm, I make a sincere effort to please no one with the hope that somehow I please everyone. But I have come to recognize through my twisted ...

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A Monumental History Lesson Part 2 It is difficult to topple a mountain. Particularly if the mountain rises 800 feet from the ground, covers 583 acres, and is made of granite. It is not like lassoing an iron horse and its rider from a concrete pedestal and heave-hoing it into pieces on the ...

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A Monumental History Lesson On July 4, 1863, Union soldiers began the arduous and grizzly task of burying over 7,000 dead bodies in trenches and shallow graves. Later, as rains had washed away the ground cover re-exposing the stench of blackened and gnarled limbs, the town of Gettysburg took on ...

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I thought the shortage of toilet paper in March was bad. But now I find that soon we may not be able to secure illegal fireworks. What next, a run on citronella candles? I am stocking up on rolls of Charmin again, which I plan to ignite and launch into the sky from my backyard on the 4th of ...

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My wife asked me what I wanted to do on Father’s Day. I think it was a rhetorical question. For months now the options to do anything have been pretty slim. “You mean like watch Netflix or go for a walk or wear a mask?” I have never quite understood Father’s Day. It seems like an also ran ...

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I have been thinking very hard about nothing lately. This is because I have been thinking so hard about everything. At this moment in time, it is hard not to. Thinking hard about everything is hard enough. But thinking hard about nothing is even harder. Because thinking hard about nothing means ...

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Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live. So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army. Ezekiel 37:9-10 Ezekiel connected dem dry bones Ezekiel connected dem dry ...

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The unofficial start to summer has begun and people are emerging gingerly from their Covid-free lairs like bears from hibernation. And after months living in quarantine without pants or haircuts, the question on all of our minds as we contemplate going out in public is, how is this supposed to ...

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Greetings graduating class of 2020! Woohoo! You did it! I am honored and proud to offer these unsolicited congratulatory remarks on your incredible achievement, and to provide some inspirational words of encouragement as you move on to do all of the great and momentous things you truly are meant ...

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Covid Chaos Episode #9 I took a test the other day. I took a test even though I have no symptoms. Even though I have been adequately protected. Even though I have been cautious. Even though, as a volunteer EMS responder, my direct contact with this nasty virus remains sporadic. Here is the ...

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I have recently become intrigued with the idea of starting a garden. Becoming self-sufficient. Living off the land. Wearing overalls and holding a pitchfork. Getting up before dawn to tend to the chores. Except for the getting up before dawn part, it sounds kind of appealing. doesn’t it? It ...

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It is the first, warm sunny day in May. The kind of day where budding leaves on trees unfurl before our eyes. The kind of day where flowers vibrate intense color and winter’s dormant life awakens with a long, welcome kiss of life-affirming sunlight. It is the kind of day that rejuvenates ...

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It is spring, and I need to dig a hole in my backyard. I want to plant a tree. I want to plant a tree that will grow full and tall and strong and outlive me for hundreds of years. It must be that whole circle of life thing that I somehow need to honor. Where it ends with a hole in the ground, ...

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I came to a startling scientific discovery taking a walk this morning: squirrels have really bad short term memory. Oh sure, they can survive a winter by recalling where they hid their nuts, but do they not remember that dodging cars is equally as important to their survival? I realize this ...

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I think I may have socially distanced myself from reality. I find it difficult to speak. I have a problem words putting together. I repeat myself again and again and again. I forget what I am saying and my thoughts trail off and I have trouble finishing Under normal conditions, I can converse ...

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I read that with all of this family time spent indoors, jigsaw puzzles are in high demand. Ironically, I find this puzzling because I myself am not a big puzzle person. Nor is my family. I have puzzled a few times with ill effects. After about 30 minutes my eyes begin to cross, my fingers ...

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Not having many friends, I know a thing or two about social distancing. When you are short on personality like me, it is actually quite easy to keep people at a safe distance for long periods of time. But for everyone else, I understand it can be quite a challenge. So in the spirit of really ...

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With a growing sense of my mortality, I find myself nostalgic for the old days. I mean, it seems only two weeks ago that my three kids were bouncing home from college one by one to visit and relax on their spring breaks. I remember they brought home laundry and influenza to share. I recovered in ...

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