Dad in the Box

  • Cluelessly Clueless

    April 18, 2018

    I teenaged my way through high school under the assumption that my parents had no idea what I was doing.  I like to think I was pretty good at withholding information and presenting situations ...

  • My Life is an Open Facebook

    I find the possibility intriguing that I might be politically influenced just because I “liked” a few goofy cat videos on Facebook.  But then, I also find it intriguing that ...

  • Coffee, Tea or Fleas?

    Two ducks are on a flight to Miami.  The first duck says to the second, “you flying south for the winter?”  The second duck replies, “Oh wow, a talking emotional support ...

  • Get Smart

    I don’t want to be on a first name basis with my refrigerator.

     

    Oh don’t get me wrong, I am all for cool technology—when it works—but I draw the line at talking to ...

  • Let the Games Begin

    I am truly awed by the Olympics.  Watching these superb young athletes on TV inspires me to renew my membership to the gym and pursue my lifelong dream of taking home the ...

  • In the Driver's Seat

    Honey, I am going to take the Roadster out for a quick spin around the sun. I’ll be back in a few million years.

     

    That’s nice dear. While you are out, could you pick ...

  • A Super Bowl First Again

    Donald J Trump @realDonaldTrump

    So great to see the weak and out of control NFL finally come together to make AMERICA FIRST IN THE SUPER BOWL thanks to my tremendous efforts. So why has no one ...

  • Follow the Money

    In 2013 a man in the UK cleaned out his junk drawer and absently tossed an old hard drive dismantled from a Dell Computer into the trash.  The hard drive, rusting in landfill somewhere in Wales, ...

  • Accepting Yourself

    It is the beginning of January, which means college applications are due.

     

    This is the time where high school seniors all across the country place their academic souls on the line and ...

  • You're A Mean One . . .

    Seriously, Grinch?

     

    I am standing in line at the checkout counter of our local grocery store.  An obviously perturbed woman and her young daughter are staring at my cart.  It ...

  • The Thought that Counts

    The other day I was talking to our cat . . .  

    Hmmm.  It says here that dogs are smarter than cats.

    What are you reading, Mad Magazine?

    No seriously, this article in the Times ...

  • The Price of Priceless

    I have a public admission to make.

     

    I am the buyer who purchased Leonardo Da Vinci's Salvator Mundi at auction. 

     

    OK, I realize it is preposterous to think that I ...

  • The Last Game

    My daughter recently played the last soccer game of her career.  

     

    Yippee!  No more practices!  No more tournaments!  No more long drives to obscure fields!  ...

  • A Day at the Spa

    Recently I treated myself to a day at a spa, complete with mud baths, ice therapy, natural skin exfoliates, and ultra hyper-electrolysis.   Unfortunately, this particular spa treatment also ...

  • Wait. What?

    Don’t you have homework to do?

     

    My teenage daughter is watching TV, texting, facetiming, instagramming, listening to music, and typing on a laptop all at the same ...

  • I Got This

    I thought I was done with school projects.

     

    You know, the kind of projects that involve cardboard and paint and glue and styrofoam and a panicked run to the hobby store the night before ...

  • Give Me Some Credit

    I used to think I was special.  

     

    But it turns out I am not.  I am just one measly name in 143 million.  

     

    You see, that’s the number of lucky Americans ...

  • 23 Skidoo

    I am worried that my genetic Neanderthal variant might be embarrassingly high.

     

    Given my personality, this might not seem an unreasonable fear.  But I really don’t want it ...

  • The Road Trip Less Traveled

    “My cows,” announces my daughter. 

     

    From the passenger seat she is staring absently out the window at the lush farmland clipping by.  Her bare leg is pulled up tight ...

  • Staring at the Sun

    Sometime during the morning of August 21st, millions of Americans will crowd toe to toe on a narrow ribbon of land stretching across the continental United States for the opportunity to stand in the ...

  • Gone, But Not Forgotten

    Recently my dad showed me a plaque he had been awarded from his alma mater.  He graduated from a well-respected University in the Midwest after WWII.  It was where he met my mom.

  • Can You Hear Me Now?

    I read the other day that President Trump is handing out his personal cell phone number to world leaders encouraging them to call him directly whenever the need arises.

     

    While I ...

  • Air Boxing

    I went to a boxing match the other night and an overbooked flight broke out.

     

    It may be a new twist on an old joke, but it is no laughing matter.  

     

    OK, actually, it ...

  • Animal Husbandry

    My wife and I are in disagreement.

     

    She says she has trained our cat to sit on command.

     

    I say the cat has trained her to dole out treats.

     

    Unfortunately, like a ...

  • Good Egg Hunting

    Here lies Dad In The Box.  He was a good egg.

     

    I probably should have greater aspirations in life, but I suppose there are far worse ways to be remembered.

  • Of Ritual Importance

    I can’t think of a better way to kick off spring than drinking beer.

    Recently I attended the 56th annual Spring Rites and Beer Festival in Manhattan Beach, California.  This yearly ...