firstname.lastname@example.org - Important Updates - Today 12:32 pm
Dear TU Student,
As some of you prepare for your return to campus and some of you prepare for your return to laptops at home, I am sure you have many questions about what to expect this school year at Transitory University.
This email provides important information you will need to succeed in the semester ahead. Please read it carefully as it supersedes all of the information that was sent to you yesterday and the day before and during the months of July and August.
Move in day for those who are returning to campus was Tuesday of last week. For those who are still sitting outside in your parents car, please be patient. Move in day is always chaotic, and with elevator access limited to one student and one suitcase at a time due to COVID, the move in process is more challenging than usual. We are providing free mobile WIFI to students so that they may start taking classes from their cars while they await entry.
Participation in Campus Activities
Regrettably, this pandemic has raised serious concerns over gatherings in which the spread of disease can easily proliferate. In an effort to curtail potential spikes in COVID-19 which could force school closure, there will be no student activities on campus for the remainder of 2020.
This includes NCAA football, intramural sports, quidditch matches, musical events, clubs, study groups, library attendance, appointments with the dean, throwing frisbees on the Quad, access to drinking fountains and restrooms, and all peaceful protests against this new policy.
You may socialize in your room provided you are wearing a face mask and remain six feet away from your roommates and all mirrors. Where rooms are less than six feet wide, particularly in campus housing, we have installed plexiglass barriers between beds to keep residents safe. Dorm cubicles with accessible electrical outlets are on a first come first serve basis.
TU has adopted an open migratory optional hybrid model in which some students will physically attend classes and some students will participate online based on a rotating schedule which will be updated hourly. For the first two weeks of classes students whose last names begin with A through M and have paid tuition in full will be allowed to attend classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays before 11 am and Fridays after 4 pm provided there are less than 10 students enrolled. They will alternate weeks with students whose last names begin with N through Z.
All students will be required to enter the campus at the East Gate and make their way west to their classrooms along the marked paths. Students living at or near the west end of campus are advised to depart campus at designated exits and take off-campus public transportation to arrive safely at the east side.
Before entering classrooms students must take their temperature and answer a brief questionnaire about their health, recent travel, and whether they have attended any frat parties.
What to Do if You Get Sick
Quarantine and isolation are the best tools we have to ensure our campus community remains safe and healthy. For students who are confirmed or suspected of contracting COVID-19 we have locked freshmen out of 500 single rooms in University Housing in which you can isolate and quarantine from others. You will be provided with an internet connection, an orange jumpsuit, and food and water left outside your door from the student dining hall free of charge for 14 days until your release.
In the Event of School Closure
While we hope that Transitory University can continue to operate in a safe and consistent manner, it is feasible that access to campus facilities and housing may be curtailed if there is a dramatic rise in COVID infections. Following scientific protocols established by University health officials, higher learning at TU may be suspended indefinitely if the number of COVID cases rises above the average SAT math score for incoming freshmen who are required to stay at home.
In the potentially unlikely event that closure is warranted, students in campus housing may be given the option of taking all of their belongings home or leaving them on campus until the end of the semester for a small rental and disinfection fee.
In addition, students will have the option of passing all online classes that are offered on a pass fail basis provided they adhere to strict login procedures on Zoom. The University will buy back any blue books, three ring binders, or unused number 2 pencils students have purchased in anticipation of attending classes in person.
Your Health and Well-Being
Studies have consistently shown that those most at risk for contracting COVID-19 are between the ages of 18 and 22, returning to college, and attending large parties despite the warnings of health professionals who have already graduated from college and gotten a good job. Studies have also proven that alcohol and responsible behavior at college don’t mix. Therefore, for your own health and safety, and particularly mine, I strongly urge that you refrain from having any fun as school begins.
Together let’s make 2020 a rewarding and productive college experience, worthy of your tuition!