You may not know the name Karen Alpert, but you may just know this writer from her hugely popular blog/Twitter handle "Baby Sideburns." Either way, Alpert is someone that you should pay attention to, as her book, I Heart My Little A-Holes is an absolutely hysterical MUST-READ for all moms. Well, not all moms. Only moms with a sense of humor who don't mind crass language and lots of frank talk about poop!
I had the pleasure of asking Karen to step in and share some of her favorite picks for television, movies, restaurants, toys, and books for this edition of "The Mommy's Review." You'll get a taste of her quick wit and off-color style here, and if you like what you read, definitely check out her New York Times best-selling book! It's available in both hardcover and E-book now.
I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting by Karen Alpert
William Morrow, $16.99
Favorite TV shows: Wait, let’s start with my LEAST favorite TV shows. Caillou, Sid the Science Kid, Peppa Pig, and anything else that has annoying voices in it. Some of my favorites are The Walking Dead (especially when Zoey keeps coming downstairs after her bedtime and learns her lesson because she sees a scary zombie), The Bachelor and if anyone from ABC is reading this can you pleeeeeease bring back the Bachelor Pad? I know it’s total crap TV, but parents need crap TV to decompress to at the end of our lonnnnnnng days. I also LOVE LOVE LOVE Orange is the New Black, Downton Abbey, and Parenthood.
Movies: What’s a movie? I don’t think I’ve seen one of those in hmmmm, exactly 4 years and 11 months. Wait, no, that’s a lie, I’ve seen Frozen 14 times now. Kind of. I watch the screen while I tune out and think about other awesome things like lying on a beach and chocolate.
Restaurants: McDonald's. And I would have given the same answer before I had kids too. I LOVE that place. Yeah, I know it’s completely terrible for me, but it makes me happy and I think anything in moderation is okay. Well, not anything. Crack is not good for you, even in moderation. But I digress. Basically I like any restaurant these days where my kids will actually eat what’s on the menu. Panera and Corner Bakery are pretty much the only places because they have PB&J. And Baskin Robbins. You know, for their delicious broccoli.
Toys: My FAVORITE toy in the whole wide world is this totally awesome one I keep in my nightstand. Ohhhhh, you meant kids’ toys. My daughter is so into the Lego Junior sets right now. She’ll sit there for like an hour playing with them. Also, Magna-Tiles are the best. They’re fun, quiet and super easy to clean up. My least favorite toy right now is American Girl Doll. I mean I think they’re super awesome for my daughter and imaginative play, but holy crap are they expensive. She wants a bed and it costs $125. For a doll bed!!! I could buy a normal human bed for $125 on Craigslist.
Books: I think my favorite book in the whole wide world to read to my kiddos right now is this one called I Heart My Little A-Holes. Nahhh, just kidding. But it is pretty darn funny. At least my mom says it is.
Jennifer Niederhoffer is the founder of Impress Media, an independent lifestyle & entertainment public relations and editorial services firm. You can follow her on twitter @impressmedia or @themommysreview.