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There’s someone in my class this year who I have a crush on, but I get so nervous I never know how to act around them. What should I do?
Dear Turmoiled Teen,
When it comes to talking to your crush it is easy to overthink. Does my hair look ok? Am I talking too much? The answer is simple: Be authentic.
The key is to never try too hard. For starters, try initiating a conversation. Make eye contact and mention something going on around school. Just make sure to be yourself. If you want your crush to become someone important in your life, the last thing you want to do is pretend to be someone else. If your crush is the right person for you, they will like you for who you truly are. If they do not like you for you, chances are, they are not worth having a crush on.
If you are ever worried about what your crush might be thinking, just remember that they are human too! Just because they are someone you have feelings for does not mean that they do not have emotions and that they never make mistakes. Do not overthink it! It is likely that they will not even notice any apprehension you may have talking with them, or judge you if you stumble over your words.
Always keep in mind that having a crush in real life is not like it is portrayed in most movies. The love letters you wrote to your crushes growing up will probably not be taken from your room by your little sister and mailed to the people you wrote about, like in To All the Boys I’ve Loved, and it is unlikely that your crush will sparkle in the sun as Edward the vampire does in Twilight. You do not need to worry about what other people expect to happen in a relationship. Nor do you have to live up to the adventurous movie relationship stories that you may daydream about in class. The only thing you will ever have to worry about when speaking to the person you like is that you just have to be you!
Best of luck,