OFF THE RAILS - A big winner in Tuesday's mid-term election could be the Gateway Project, the political football that many argue is the most paramount infrastructure project in the nation. The President has famously ignored the $13 billion plan, after Chris Christie cancelled an earlier version, to the fury of any commuter who is just trying to get to work at a reasonable time. But with Democrats taking over control of the House in January, Politico reports, there is a shot that Gateway will no longer be held hostage by a Republican president eager to punish Democrats on both sides of the Hudson. The House has subpoena and oversight authority, which could ultimately force the President to at least pay some attention to the glaring need.

BRICK - Hard times for the horror/porn actor in his race for Brick school board. Edward X. Young, 59, who ran under the "Make Brick Great" slogan, is best known for his appearances in low-budget horror flicks, focused on gore, nudity and violence against women, was the lowest vote-getter in the race, reports. Voters were quick to note that Young didn't exactly reveal any platform in a campaign largely absent of published materials, and did not apparently give any interviews. But he shot back at people on Facebook, saying "How does my acting in horror pictures impact my ability to decide how taxpayer dollars are spent?"  At least 5,903 Brick voters agreed, (or just weren't paying attention in the booth.)

STATEWIDE - Luckily, Santa has Rudolph to guide his sleigh to New Jersey, as a state map in a new children's book would get him hopelessly lost. The map in "I Saw Santa in New Jersey" shows Montclair next to Camden and Atlantic City along the Delaware River. It's laughable enough to make St. Nick's belly shake like a bowl full of jelly. Chalk up the errors to its author, a British computer programmer, and its illustrators from Helsinki, Finland and Mantova, Italy. They've blindly churned out 73 "I Saw Santa in (insert your state or favorite city here)" books from their side of the Atlantic. For Christmas, we suggest a GPS in their stockings. And, perhaps a stern letter from Rand McNally.

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STATEWIDE - One of New Jersey's best known "shock jocks" got his own shock: up to 45 years in jail. You may remember Craig Carton from NJ 101.5 before he co-hosted the "Boomer and Carton" show on WFAN in New York. Hedge fund execs told the jury they gave Carton $7 millions or so as an investment in bulk event tickets, including a national tour by Metallica and two Barbra Streisand concerts. The money went elsewhere, with Carton pocketing the cash for personal use, like paying off loan sharks.  Shocker.


PRATT, KS - Punctuation counts. That's what a tiny tri-weekly newspaper learned from its embarrassing front page headline: "Students get first hand job experience." The Pratt Tribune triggered a Twitter firestorm over missing hyphens between "first" and "hand," and even between "hand" and "job" to make them more pleasurable for readers. Grammarians, however, say hyphenation would be wrong. Merriam (hypen) Webster and the Associated Press Stylebook (every newsroom's bible) says "firsthand" - as an adjective or adverb - is always one word. And "handjob?" Yup, that too. 


RICHMOND, VA. - Expect a freshly-elected congressman in Richmond to be receiving plenty of Bigfoot dolls, books and other souvenirs, following his landslide victory on Tuesday. Despite being labeled by his opponent as a "devotee of Bigfoot erotica," Denver Riggleman was able to clinch the 5th Dist. seat. His opponent, Democrat Leslie Cockburn, claimed Riggleman was woefully unfit to serve, after penning an odd chapter in an online book, "The Mating Habits of Bigfoot and Why Women Want Him." Riggleman says it was all an inside joke, when he posted a buff, naked drawing of Bigfoot, with a very large censor bar covering Bigfoot's privates. "Don't erase the censor box...," Riggleman had captioned the post. A hairy situation.


America formally bid farewell to Mike Dukakis, on this day in 1988, as voters run to George Bush.


Palmary - [PAWL-mə-ree] - adjective

Definition: Outstanding or exemplary; the best

Example: Trump's next Attorney General will be a palmary lawyer - perhaps the absolute greatest palmary lawyer among all the palmary lawyers in all the land.



A Jaffe Briefing exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun