HACKENSACK – So, what’s 239 days of false imprisonment worth? For one Hackensack man, who saw his drug charges dropped because of unrelated allegations of police misconduct, he’ll be receiving a $37,250 check from the city.  Of course, Hackensack officials are not admitting any liability in the 10-page agreement, the Record reports. The resident sued Hackensack in federal court, claiming his civil rights were violated during the arrest on drug charges that were ultimately dismissed. Apparently, the cops conducted an “unlawful” traffic stop and made up some falsified evidence about a drug deal that never went down. It seems the city got away cheap on this one.

WRIGHTSTOWN – There’s a scrappy, independent state entity, the Office of State Comptroller, who audits and investigates government agencies. It’s a downright dirty job, but someone’s got to do it, like the recent investigation into murky goings-on at the Wrightstown Municipal Utilities Authority. It seems a top executive there arranged a deal with the authority board’s chairman (also the mayor of Wrightstown) to dump septage — a kindler, gentler word for septic waste — from his private waste-disposal business down a manhole at the WMUA. It was a big heap of septage, like 565,000 gallons of it. By doing so, this exec avoided about $21,000 in septic waste disposal fees. Hold your nose and read NJ Spotlight.

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NEWARK – Scratch-off tickets have paid off again for a state lottery millionaire who just picked up another $250,000 in winnings. Freddie Robinson won a $2 million grand prize in 2017 playing a different state scratch-off lottery game. Despite the windfall, the 64-year-old city man kept his furniture repairman’s job and kept playing scratch-offs. Robinson tells NJ Advance Media he hit a dry spell until now, getting his latest winnings off $10 Crossword scratch-offs from his local C-Town supermarket. He’s now thinking about retirement. Fix that leaning table yourself.

CRANBURY – You can feel like a colonist, but feast like King George at New Jersey’s oldest running restaurant: The Cranbury Inn. The online foodie site Delish put the historic inn on its new list of every state’s oldest eateries. Originally two adjoining stagecoach taverns, the inn dates to the mid-1750s, two decades before our forefathers got the insane idea to tell merry ol’England to shove it. Its décor remains colonial, but the inn no longer offers flame-fired mutton shanks or huge tankards of ale. Its cuisine (and, yep, prices) are all 21st Century, but it still might be a revolutionary place to wine and dine someone special. Thomas Paine described the Cranbury Inn on Yelp as “common sense.”

STATEWIDE – Want a job? Any job? It seems to be yours for the taking these days in New Jersey, where the latest unemployment rate is the lowest ever recorded. Politico notes the unemployment rate dropped for the fifth consecutive month in August and is now at a record low of 3.2%. This unemployment rate is the lowest monthly rate since state-level records began in 1976, which means if you stand on a corner – and look somewhat sober and slightly sane – you should get a job offer within five minutes.

NEW DELHI – Uh, thanks, but no thanks? With this crazy low unemployment rate, Gov. Phil Murphy says he is bringing back 1,200 jobs as part of his ongoing mission to India. Three Indian companies – based in Iselin and Edison – are pledging to expand their operations. Murphy claims these new jobs are directly related to the lead-up of his well-publicized trade mission, certainly raising this question: Could he have just claimed victory by visiting Metro Park, rather than Mumbai?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

PERRIS, CA – There is absolutely no question which Congressional candidatewill have our support this year in the 36th district in California. And there’s also no question about which candidate is going to win in this battleground district. In fact, we guarantee it! We are all in for Raul Ruiz.  Ruiz! Ruiz! Ruiz! Hey, just don’t ask us the pesky question if we support the Republican or the Democrat, as both candidates vying for the seat happen to be named Raul Ruiz. So, Ruiz and Ruiz are each now hiring political consultants, somehow tasked with explaining how their Raul Ruiz is a stellar statesman, and the other Raul Ruiz is a raging lunatic. Whatever the case, vote Ruiz ’19!

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2012 that a “communication specialist” at the University of Nebraska predicted the future of journalism would be unmanned aerial vehicles reporting on the “news.”

WORD OF THE DAY

Holus Bolus – [hoh-ləs-BOH-ləs] - adverb

Definition: All at once

Example: With everyone shouting at President Trump holus-bolus, no surprise he can’t hear any of it.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.”

- John C. Maxwell

WEATHER IN A WORD

Beauty

THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun