STATEWIDE – With a lot of hype that pharmacies will start administering life-saving vaccine as soon as Friday, your local chain store is being elevated to a whole new role in public health. Yet, state lawmakers are wondering why these ubiquitous businesses are still selling cigarettes. NJ.com reports about legislation that would finally remove tobacco and vaping products from all pharmacies, now home to clinics, screenings and other medical services that were typically available only through the doctor’s office. CVS jumped on board eight years ago, getting rid of all the cancer-causing crap behind the counter. Other pharmacies must follow suit, as tobacco and vaping products seem more appropriate for the hazy smoke shop or a liquor store, where no one cares about your health. 

HOBOKEN – No longer will an order of chicken wings and a Coke cost $30, as city officials are joining Jersey City to crack down on those expensive delivery apps that shake down hungry kids without driver’s licenses. Hoboken officials are capping third-party services, like GrubHub, blocking any fee that is greater than 15% of the cost of the individual order; or greater than 5% of the cost of food delivered by a restaurant employee. Of course, one can argue free enterprise, and people should be allowed to charge whatever the market allows. But these local restaurants are struggling and depending on orders from these third-party apps to stay afloat. That’s why city officials are demanding reasonable fees, in the hopes of making it fair for all.

BRIEFING BREATHER

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No word rhymes with silver.

DOWN THE SHORE – Sure, it’s freezing out there, but it’s never too early to talk about beach tags. With towns like Belmar raking in more than $5 million last summer, Wildwood officials think it is high time they finally start charging people to enjoy their sprawling, glorious beaches. While these mayors had historically argued there has already been a beach fee – in terms of taxes – they now are looking at ways to cover the enormous costs of serving tourists every summer, NJ.com reports. So, now, Wildwood, North Wildwood and Wildwood Crest are considering beach tags or “tourism fees,” sure to fill the coffers for the long winter.

ATLANTIC CITY – Winners from the Super Bowl LV: Tom Brady, Bruce Springsteen and that five-second ad from Reddit. Other big winners: New Jersey’s racetracks, casinos, online and retail sportsbooks, which took in $117.4 million, a 116% increase over last year’s big game. It shattered the record, serving as a huge boost for the casinos and racetracks that have been shuttered or faced major restrictions over the past 10 months. Meanwhile, there was plenty of cash thrown around, with payouts to individual gamblers totaling $106.1 million. Not bad for a day of “work,” and some beers, in the dead of winter.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NEW ORLEANS, LA – There’s a new chapter to report from the “Gorilla Glue Girl,” the Louisiana woman who thought it made plenty of sense to use the super adhesive as a logical substitute for hair spray. She is now vowing to sue the glue company, arguing that the product label clearly does not mention “hair” when it warns against using the product on eyes, skin or clothing. After a month of her hair stuck in one place, the woman spent last weekend in the ER, where the staff used acetone to fight the goop on the back of her head. But instead of dissolving the glue, it burned her scalp and made the situation even stickier, TMZ reports. Gorilla Glue tweeted well wishes but noted that – c’mon – who the heck would use this product in their hair?

CANBERRA, Australia – A koala caused a five-car pileup while darting across a six-lane freeway during rush hour on Monday. There were plenty of minor injuries in the crash, as well as many gawkers. It was a solid traffic story, with a great photo of the animal behind the wheel of his rescuer’s car. The marsupial was uninjured during his run in traffic; he was safely released into the wild while his photo makes international news and countless memes for days on end.

BAR GRAMMAR

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1989 that Miami Vice airs its 100th episode, giving us the opportunity to run the same photo two days in a row.

WORD OF THE DAY

Belie – [bih-LYE] – verb

Definition: To give a false impression

Example: I perfected this really casual attitude. It belied the fact I had no clue how to make flan.

WIT OF THE DAY

“By adding three lies, one does not get the truth — only a bigger lie.”

- Slobodan Milosevic

BIDEN BLURB

“I think you're a damn war criminal and you should be tried as one.”

- Joe Biden (to Slobodan Milosevic)

WEATHER IN A WORD

Brisk