CORAL SPRINGS, FL - This weekend you can look for a show. Is it Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum(b). Mutt and Jeff, I don’t know. I do know a line that fits. PT Barnum: “There’s a sucker born every minute and two to take’m in.” Those suckers will be sitting, undoubtedly with no mask, no less two, at the CPAC convention in Orlando.

Maybe Ronnie DeSantis will tell us about the rationale he used to inoculate several hundred additional people without tapping into his federal supply. Wonder where they came from. Maybe he’ll tell us why those vaccines went to some of the wealthiest in a wealthy zip code in Kissimmee County. Same thing happened at Fisher Island in Miami, the wealthiest zip code in the nation. I doubt it. I also doubt he’ll talk about how he is attempting to get the state legislature to pass laws that will restrict ease of voting and shorten the time allowed for voting. I doubt that too. Does anyone hear the wind whispering, “He’s running for re-election?” I do.

Oh yes, I suppose the convention will be catered by Publix and underwritten by the lovely heiress who underwrote the insurrection to the tune of millions of bucks. Publix is well known to be very conservative politically, and well known to have been supporters of Trump and DeSantis so what a shock it was to find out that the first choice for a pharmacy distributor would be…you guessed it…Publix…who started by screwing up the gig, giving shots to people who shouldn’t have had them, and had to shut down because their system couldn’t handle what the Gov’s beneficence rained down on them.

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Since there are plenty of Publix markets in Coral Springs, some of you have already experienced being closed out as soon as the registration went live or spent the day and the early evening sitting in an uncomfortable chair hoping that there would be shots not given, left over, and you would be lucky enough to get one. If this were a railroad someone would say, “this is a helluva way to run a railroad!" Regrettably, it’s a pandemic.

And the Donald? Well, let’s see. We’ll undoubtedly hear that had only he stayed at the helm, 500,000 deaths never would have happened, or that the uptick in the economy is his doing, that he was right in not trusting the intelligence service/after all (look at what happened at the Capitol), that the snow in the south was Biden’s fault, and so what if he fights to keep his taxes private, they are his taxes after all.

My niece reminded me that so many fairy tales and nursery rhythms of old are covers for societal disasters. Ring Around the Rosy and the Black Plague is one. Others were tomes written as sarcastic jabs at the rulers and ruling class. Alice in Wonderland comes to mind.

When it comes to DeSantis and Trump, we could start with Alice (representing us) asking how do we get from point A to point B. The helpful locals are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, each who points assuredly in the opposite direction. I don’t remember who but if memory serves, another helpful nit-wit says, “Oh, you can’t get there from here.” Of course, you could, he just didn’t know how to, so he chose to lie. Ooops, sorry,…choose an alternative truth.

Don’t be surprised if at the beginning of the CPAC convention all attendees are asked to prostrate themselves in front of an American flag at half-mast in front of which is a picture of “America’s Anchor.” The thought of pairing Mr. Anchor against Edward R. Murrow is an abomination. Mr. Double Dittos who was a genius in the way PT Barnum was a genius would not know a real news story if it was printed on his forehead. But for sure Rush Limbaugh will be a major presence throughout.

At CPAC we will see political costumes and characters viewable only through the eyes of normal people, characters such as the Mad Hatter, poor, scared Alice, the Dum-Dum brothers and of course the Queen. Let us not forget the Dormouse who would rather sleep than take notice of what is going on around him. The spider and the Cheshire Cat will be watching from above not quite believing that no one is seeing what they are seeing. And let us be fair. Outside on the sidewalk will be Agricultural Commissioner Nikki Fried, also running for Governor, pointing out, chest puffed, that she will not lower the flags on the buildings under her command. I’m not sure that’s enough of a hook to set a gubernatorial campaign on.

It’s a great book but as a caricature of our nation it should frighten the pants off you.

Nor are we finished with Carroll. The Carpenter and the Walrus give us this soliloquy, which ends, “The time has come to speak of many things, of shoes and tacks and sealing wax…of cabbages and kings and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.”

Would that someone flash that behind the lens’ of DeSantis and Trump. If more people don’t start talking with more sense, about things real, about what makes life work, we’re gonna have to find a relative of Charles Dickens and commission him/or her to take up the pen again.

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Read William A. Gralnick’s recent columns for TAPinto Coral Springs:

Coral Springs, Brooklyn, And Just About All Other Cities Have Something In Common: What To Do With Plastic?

Coral Springs: On This MSD Tragedy Anniversary, Hit’Em Where It Hurts: The Pocketbook

Coral Springs: Go Get Your Shot In The Arm

Who Was That Masked Man In Coral Springs? Should Someone Have Reported Him?

Vaccination Sites: Conga Lines Or Mazes For Rats

A Day In The Park: How We Got Covid-19 Vaccine Shots Without Appointments

Jumping On NIMBY Train For Coral Springs Affordable Housing?


 A resident of South Florida for more than 30 years, Bill Gralnick has written more than 900 op-eds and columns for newspapers around the country, including columns for the Brooklyn Eagle.

His latest book, found on, Kindle or paperback, is the coming-of-age memoir, “The War of the Itchy Balls and Other Tales from Brooklyn.”

His writings and a link to his book can be found on his website:

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