Home & Garden

You Live in East Brunswick, and You're Stuck in Your House, So...

17e15709564153ed43b5_snow_dog.jpg
Not everyone is sad about being stuck in the snow!   Credits: http://cdn.meme.am/instances/58443088.jpg
17e15709564153ed43b5_snow_dog.jpg

EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ - According to a number of reliable sources, East Brunswick got 24 inches of snow yesterday, a stunning amount.  Well, we all survived it, thankfully, but there is no reason to put oursleves at risk for any post-blizzard casualties. Besides, we wiped out the shelves at Shop-Rite and Stop and Shop on Friday, and we have to do something with all this stuff.

Here's a guide for today so that you can enjoy EB, look out your window at the beautiful snow before you get sick of it, and get rid of some stuff along the way.

  • MOMS DON'T SHOVEL SNOW.  Now's the time to play the labor-and-delivery card.  It's a quid pro quo.  The more gruesome the details you provide of your struggle and pain, the better.  Use all that bread and milk you bought to make French toast for the shovelers.  Praise their work.  Feel (at a distance) their pain. 
  • WATCH YOUR PETS ACT LIKE IDIOTS IN THE SNOW.  Here at TAP Central, we have a 16-year-old beagle.  She went out last night and became a puppy again, scampering down our newly-plowed street.  Yes, I said "scampering."  She rediscovered her canine self.  Take a video of your pet in the snow and send it to your kids in college.  It will be a real heart-tug, perhaps guilting them into a phone call.  Tell them you're fine, except that they are not here to shovel snow for Mom.  Don't miss this opportunity!
  • PREPARE SOMETHING DELICIOUS TO EAT, THEN EAT IT.  Sometimes, we are more impressed with the titles of food on restaurant menus than with the meals themselves because of the gorgeous language used to describe them.  Expand your vocabulary and become a better cook automatically.  Try this one: Una Zuppa alla Crema di Pomodoro con un Panino di Formaggio Grigliato.  Sounds great, right? You could really impress yourself.  Okay, so it's really a can of Campbell's tomato soup made with milk and a grilled cheese sandwich.  Who will know until they sit down at the table?  Throw the can away and look like you've worked hard to be an Italian chef.  Be your own Spin Doctor.
  • GIVE YOURSELF OVER TO SPORTS.  Rangers, Patriots, Panthers, Broncos, and Senators are all running or skating around today.  Turn your house into the local bar and have all the televisions on with sports blasting.  Argue during games you don't care about.  Argue loudly.  Do not monitor your language. Point at the TV screen, raise your voice and expound on the stupidity of someone. Start a fight. Crush on Tom Brady.  Feel sorry for Eli Manning who has to watch his brother Peyton (Chicken parm, you are so good!) surpass him yet again.  
  • HIDE FROM YOUR FAMILY.  Tell them you are going out to shovel snow (But don't you DARE do it!) and "hole up" in the guestroom.  Read.  Paint your toenails.  Screw around on the internet.  Make sure that you have paid off the dog first so that she doesn't hang around and scratch on the door of your hideout.  This may be worthy of a two-biscuit bribe.  Our dog Evie is almost blind and deaf, but she can find me wherever I am.  She's looking at me right now (or at least she thinks she is!)  Make sure you've made the payoff.
  • TAKE A NAP so that you can be wide awake for Downton Abbey tonight.  In our house, we watch Downton and The Walking Dead on Sundays, since we have been freed up from Mad Men and The Sopranos. (Do you think Carmela shoveled snow?  Yeah, right.)  I hardly ever get Lord Grantham and Rick Grimes confused with each other.  Rick has the beard, right?
  • THROW STUFF OUT.  My dad used to call this "Irish cleaning."  Hey, we're Irish, and it worked for us. Walk around your house or apartment or dorm room with a large garbage bag, and go from room to room throwing stuff out.  Christmas decorations you forgot to put away?  Throw 'em out.  An odd number of Hanukkah menorah candles-from-a-day-you-went-out-and-did-not-light-them hanging around?  Pitch 'em. 2015 calendars and expired food in the back of the fridge?  Out they go.  Teenagers grumbling about how boring it all is? C-Ya!  Well, that was easy.

See?  There's no need to drive on the day after a Snowpocalypse.  There's plenty of stuff not to do at home.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

East Brunswick

FBI Agent Charged with Photographing a Woman in a Store Dressing Room

July 20, 2018

MIDDLESEX COUNTY, NJ - When a woman was changing in a dressing room of an Edison clothing store, she did know that she was being photographed against her will by a federal officer.

Middlesex County Prosecutor Andrew C. Carey and Chief Thomas Bryan of the Edison Police Department said today that a FBI Special Agent has been charged with illegally photographing a 22-year woman in a dressing ...

East Brunswick's Ethan Reiss Saves the History of Who We Are

EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ - To some people, lists of names and pictures of locations just create a jumble of information and a confusing mass of facts.  To Ethan Reiss, a historian from East Brunswick who is working to keep facts alive, these bits and pieces come together to form a picture of who we are based on who we were in the past.

Reiss, the administrator of the popular "You Know ...

East Brunswick Council Candidates Respond to Mayor Cohen’s Comments in Recent TapInto Article

July 18, 2018

EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ- Councilwoman Camille Clark and Council Candidates Curt Philipczak and Dhar Khona released the following statement in response to Mayor Cohen:

“While the TAP article and the Mayor focus on the semantics in differentiating between the phrases and terms “Redevelopment Zone” and “other” new construction, the end product is the same.  Simply ...

Learn How to “Ace The Interview” at the East Brunswick Public Library

EAST BRUNSWICK—Looking for a new job? East Brunswick Public Library (2 Jean Walling Civic Center) is here to help. The library offers a special program called “Acing the Interview” on Saturday, July 21 at 10:30 am, which is designed to help jobseekers.

“Acing the Interview” focuses on what many feel is the most stressful part of the job search process: the ...

Learn About Food Preservation at the East Brunswick Public Library

EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ—East Brunswick Public Library and the Friends of the East Brunswick Environmental Commission are presenting the special program “Food Preservation 101” at the library (2 Jean Walling Civic Center) on Wednesday, August 1 at 7:00 pm.

“Food Preservation 101” covers the basics of food preservation. The program is led by Shailja Mathur and ...

People I've Known and Been: Little by Little by Rich Little

People I've Known and Been: Little by Little by Rich Little (Dog Ear Publishing, 2015)

 

Rich Little is a national treasure; a living encyclopedia of movie stars, comedians, and former presidents all wrapped into one dynamic package. Recently, my husband and I had the good fortune to see Little perform at the Tropicana in Las Vegas, where he has been doing his uncanny ...

Lucia, Lucia by Adriani Trigiani

Lucia, Lucia by Adriana Trigiani (Ballentine Books, 2003)

 

If a summer romance novel is what you are craving to read as you sit by the pool or beach, Adriana Trigiani's Lucia, Lucia is a perfect choice. Set in 1950 New York City, the novel is about a young woman, Lucia Sartori, who is determined to have a career and be able to support herself, an unusual choice for a girl who was ...

To Our Current and Future Representatives

July 17, 2018

To Our Current and Future Representatives - Wherever They May Be:

We can never forget we are a nation of immigrants. 

We cannot fall prey to fear, ignorance and anger when we  have been historically driven by freedom and justice. 

We must have the courage and will to fight hate, bigotry and prejudice. 

We must not wake up to what we hoped was a bad dream and ...

5 Simple Ways to Save Water this Summer

According to the L.A. Times, the average American uses an estimated 98 gallons of water EACH day.  

Here are five simple ways you can save water, to help you conserve water this summer and take some pressure off of your drains.

1. Unless you are using it, turn the faucet off. How many of us still leave the water running while we shave or brush our teeth?According to ...