Here’s a snapshot of my own mothering in the age of corona:
Today I’ve got a webinar pulled up on my laptop, my phone is dinging as answers to my questions about property tax grace periods roll in, there’s at least one call of “I’m hungry” from the next room and I’m cutting up construction paper so my kids can make yoda project when this webinar in done.
Yesterday I took my oldest on a drive – we picked up a punching bag from a friend who no longer wanted it after I posted a request for one on our local Facebook page. During the ride we made an impromptu stop to sit on the lawn of her elementary school – where she’s spent the last 4 years, where she pictured having one last field day, one last concert and probably a lot of other lasts – and we talked about why she wouldn’t be returning. Moving to a new school was daunting for her 6 months ago – without the traditional transition it seems unfathomable. Except it’s not – its going to happen, it’s the new normal and we need to come to terms with it and find a way to prepare ourselves. That punching bag may come in handy.
Last week I made an awesome new soup and some yummy bread – I did it while hunched over because my youngest sneaks in my bed every night and grabs hold tightly (tighter than before COVID19) and somehow she managed to sleep in the exact wrong spot and my back won’t straighten.
We’ve done a lot of cool things – we’ve made bunny stamps out of toilet paper rolls, I made a laser maze with yarn, they have taken over my stair landing with a fort and we’ve gone hiking every weekend. We’ve also had meltdowns and fights over ipads and completing work assignments, too much screen time and way too late bedtimes.
I’ve learned to make bread but also I now have to plan to make bread at 1 pm if I want bread with my dinner at 6:30 – because that’s the new normal. I got to catchup with friends and neighbors in my driveway (6ft away) but that’s because we split 50lbs of bread flour because we can’t get it anywhere.
I write this because we all post our successes and we rarely post our struggles but each of us has them. Each of us has them every day – starting when we wake up and realize that this strange new normal wasn’t a dream – it’s life. Some days we have to absorb the full weight of them and let them crush us and some days we have to stare them down and tell them “not today.”
As moms we often have to do both of those without anyone else seeing it – our kids and often our spouses don’t see those moments – they don’t see how we pull ourselves together to start another board game or another puzzle or record another tik tok. They just see us get back to our new normal.
So this week as we celebrate Mother’s day I just want to say I see you to all the other mothers out there. I see your struggle and your triumph. Your triumph is your children seeking comfort in your hugs because they know that nothing else is more certain than your love.
You are doing amazing things right now – Happy Mother’s Day