COLTS NECK, NJ: There is a very powerful group of women in Colts Neck, who get big things done and don't talk about it much, because they are too busy moving onto their next accomplishment.
They often take on projects that may seem like too much of a heavy lift to others.
Like, for example, they visited Collier Youth Services one day and realized the campus needed a playground for the summer camp children to enjoy.
So, they decided on the spot they were going to find a way to make it happen....
They were told it was going to be too expensive, too difficult a lift... Sure enough, and not long after they set their goal, they raised over $100K and created an all-inclusive playground delivering countless smiles to children they will likely never meet.
They plan the Veterans celebrations, organize the Christmas gifting for our active military members, they host massive yard sales to raise thousands of dollars to donate to local charitable organizations like 180 Turning Lives... and then they move onto their next goal, and so on, and this has been going on for 60-years.
They are an integral part of the fabric that makes Colts Neck the great beautiful town that it is.
They are the Woman’s Club of Colts Neck, and they are celebrating 60 years of success this year!
During Women's History Month, they celebrated friendship and success last week at Tre in Freehold, and they toasted the success of another great 60 years!
The commemorative luncheon was preceded by a Proclamation presented to the members of the club at Town Hall where Deputy Mayor Tara Torchia Buss read a list of the clubs accomplishments which included but is not limited to working with 180 Turning Lives Around, Police Appreciation Week, Holiday Stockings for the Military Overseas, Scholastic Awards for Cedar Drive 8th graders, Calico Cat Food Pantry, Open Door, Trees for Troops, Kateri Day Camp, Colts Neck Community Band , etc.
Attendees included Colts Neck Committeewoman and former Mayor Sue Fitzpatrick, Deputy Mayor Tara Torchia Buss, (both members of the Woman’s Club), NJSFWC President Shirley Holly, NJSFWC President-Elect Barbara McCloskey,
Shore District Vice President Kathy Doty and many Past Presidents of the Woman’s Club and Colts Neck Woman's Club present President, Patricia Eastman.
HOLMDEL, NJ - The Holmdel Township committee will get down to work on Tuesday, March 19, working to enhance public safety. They plan to appoint two new volunteer firefighters.
Kenneth Schoeneberg and Andrew Tesler are scheduled to be appointed.
Township officials will also consider an ordinance to exceed the 2024 municipal budget appropriations limits. This ordinance process includes an introduction of the ordinance and a public hearing on April 9.
For the green thumbs in the community the Holmdel Community Garden rules and regulations will have a public hearing as well as the scheduling of events and fees for the Community Center. This meeting was rescheduled from March 12 to March 19. The public portion starts at approximately 7:30 in town hall.
You can look at the agenda by clicking here, the details on the community garden ordinance and their senior community center ordinance can be found linked to the agenda.
]]>HOLMDEL, NJ: Today, there are 49.6 million people in modern slavery worldwide and 35% of them are children. Women and girls account for 71% of all modern slavery victims.
Human trafficking is the second most profitable illegal industry in the U.S. and is a $150 Billion industry world-wide. Human trafficking also includes forced labor and child labor. Victims often feel trapped and hopeless, especially individuals in more vulnerable situations, including those without permanent U.S. status.
Sex trafficking is the most common type of trafficking in the U.S, and it is happening in every U.S. state, including New Jersey-yes, even in Monmouth County.
As a caring business community, we will learn more about this important topic at the March 26, ChamberCast event.
On Tuesday, March 26, 2024, at 8:30 AM, Congressman Chris Smith, a warrior in the fight against the scourge of human trafficking, will be a guest on ChamberCast at Bell Works, with the Monmouth Regional Chamber of Commerce (MRCC).
All community members are welcome to this free event. Networking begins at 8:30 a.m. sharp, see details below:
WHO: Congressional representative Chris Smith will share his knowledge about human trafficking and share important information that every business person and community member should be aware of.
WHEN: Tuesday, March 26, 2024. In-person networking begins with coffee, at 8:30 am sharp, followed by the in-person podcast at 9:00am-10:00am.
WHERE: Bell Works, 101 Crawfords Corner Road, Holmdel, follow signs for main visitor's entrance, and ChamberCast is held inside Bell Works, on the main level at the Big Bang Cafe area in front of Bar Bella.
WHAT: In-person networking followed by ChamberCast, an in-person audience talk format video podcast streamed live with a Shared Universe Podcast, as part of Monmouth Regional Chamber of Commerce Programming.
If you would like to be a sponsor for this episode of ChamberCast you will have one minute of air time to talk about your business or organization, and your business will be announced 3 additional times throughout the podcast. You can also bring your brochures, signage, etc. To be a sponsor for ChamberCast, contact MRCC Executive Director Terese Rolke HERE. To Learn more about the Monmouth Regional Chamber of Commerce visit HERE.
Everyone who attends ChamberCast, has the opportunity to announce their name and business on the live podcast, from the live audience intros. The podcast ends at 10am and then there is plenty to do inside Bell Works, a great place to work, eat, shop, play. Learn more at Bell.Works. Learn more about the previous ChamberCast programs HERE on Facebook. Text 732.492.2500 with any questions. We look forward to seeing you! Join us for coffee at 8:30am.
Congressman Smith has chaired numerous hearings and is the prime sponsor of five major laws and 17 international resolutions aimed at combating the scourge of human trafficking in the United States and around the world.
To report human trafficking in New Jersey, anyone can contact the NJ Office of the Attorney General NJ Human Trafficking Task Force, launched via's Smith's trafficking laws, through its toll-free hotline (855) 363-6548 (855-END-NJHT) 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
To report human trafficking anywhere in the U.S., call the national human trafficking hotline, which also was created and maintained via Smith's laws, through its toll free hotline (888) 373-7888, or texting 233733, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
HOLMDEL, NJ: Goal Zero, is a travel safety campaign started by Holmdel Police Officer Matthew Menosky, in Holmdel Township, as a result of increased motor vehicle fatalities.
The program has now expanded beyond Holmdel and is being implemented in six towns in Monmouth County. The purpose is to reduce deadly motor fatalities being used on the stretch of Route 34 from Matawan through Wall.
Goal:Zero, officially launched Feb. 21, and will stay in effect between 3 and 7 p.m.
Police Officers from Holmdel, Wall, Howell, Colts Neck, Marlboro, Aberdeen and Matawan have increased their presence on Route 34, patrolling the 25-mile stretch to stop impaired and distracted driving on the state road as part of the county-wide traffic enforcement measure.
Thank you Officer Matthew Menosky!
]]>Above photo: NJNG COO Pat Migliaccio, and NJNG director of customer and community relations Tom Hayes at The grant distribution for Accomplish More Together, a partnership betwen NJNG and Monmouth Park Charity Fund.
MONMOUTH COUNTY: The phrase; "You can accomplish more together" is easy to witness through a partnership between The Monmouth Park Charity Fund and New Jersey Natural Gas. Since 2018, the Monmouth Park Charity Fund (MPCF) and New Jersey Natural Gas (NJNG), have teamed up to empower local charities through the Accomplish More Together grant program. This unique initiative fosters teamwork between non-profits, enabling them to leverage combined resources and expertise to elevate their services and elevate their impact.
This is year seven of the Accomplish More Together program totaling $125,000, 19 grants, engaging 57 non-profits. This year's grant distribution was held on February 1, at NJ Natural Gas Corporate office in Wall, NJ. NJNG COO Pat Migliaccio, and NJNG director of customer and community relations Tom Hayes graciously hosted the event with a light breakfast and coffee for all to enjoy while networking and learning more about the nonprofit partnerships.
Tom Hayes, director of customer and community relations for NJNG is also a board member for the Monmouth Park Charity Fund. Hayes commented, "NJNG had wanted to do something like this for many years and by serving on the MPCF board, I saw the possibility of introducing this concept through them and the rest was history. The MPCF board was so receptive to the idea and their Director of Operations, Debi Heptig, has been fantastic to work with on this project from day one."
Here is how it works: Local nonprofits can partner together on specific service projects and apply for grant assistance from the Accomplish More Together grants provided by MPCF and NJNG. It's all about nonprofits coming together to accomplish more than if they were working alone, and it's a proven success model!
For example, the 2024 Accomplish More Together Grantees are:
Above photo: Tom Hayes presents Lynne Ward with a check donation for the Light of Day Foundation.
To learn more about Monmouth Park Charity Fund and the upcoming Kentucky Derby Party, and the Accomplish More Together grants, click HERE.
]]>HOLMDEL, NJ: A planned appearance by Mr. Eric LeGrand made quite an impact, and made Leap Day 2024 certainly one to remember for the many gathered to greet him.
Community members gathered at Bar Bella in Bell Works in great numbers to support the motivational speaker and tremendously inspiring man, Mr. LeGrand.
In October 2010, Rutgers University football star, Eric LeGrand, sustained a spinal cord injury at his C3 and CA vertebrae during a fourth quarter play at Metlife Stadium. His initial prognosis was beyond grim. However LeGrand demonstrated his super-human strength by going beyond all expectations for his recovery and rehabilitation. He lives with paralysis, and he hopes to dispel the misconception that those living with paralysis cannot enjoy life's finer pleasures, like his Eric LeGrand Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, featured at Bar Bella in Bell Works!
Talented jazz musicians held the stage, and spirits were light as guests at the "open to the public" event at Bell Works enjoyed sipping free samples of Mr. LeGrand's very own bourbon - Eric LeGrand Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. LeGrand donates $5.20 of every bourbon case sold to the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation. LeGrand wore #52 when he played for Rutgers.
Pictured above is Eric LeGrand's bourbon at Bar Bella in Bell Works!
Above photo: Ralph Zucker, President of Inspired by Somerset Development
Eric LeGrand was thrilled and humbled to receive a $5,200 check to benefit "Team LeGrand" for the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation.
The donation was presented by Ralph Zucker, President of Inspired by Somerset Development, who commented, "We are proud to have Eric's own brand of bourbon here at Bar Bella...we are also proud to present a check of $5,200...to Team LeGrand...It is a great moment, and let's continue working inspired...and more importantly, let's all live inspired!"
LeGrand made himself available for the evening festivities and welcomed many entertaining conversations, enthusiastic exchanges and lots of admiration from the large and supportive crowd.
Holmdel residents look forward to welcoming Mr. LeGrand again soon in this tight-knit community. As he had stated “Holmdel always makes me feel right at home."
Bell Works proudly donated to the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation, whose mission is to help find a cure for spinal cord injury by funding innovative research and improving the quality of life for individuals and families impacted by paralysis.
This bourbon is available to try at Bar Bella inside Bell Works, Holmdel, and for sale at the local Buy Rite in Middletown for $39.99 a bottle. Each bottle purchased donates $5 to the foundation "Team LeGrand" that Mr. LeGrand began in September of 2013.
]]>MONMOUTH COUNTY – An Asbury Park man has been convicted of stabbing his ex-girlfriend, Monmouth County Prosecutor Raymond S. Santiago announced Tuesday. The crime happened in 2023.
Following a weeklong trial before Monmouth County Superior Court Judge Jill G. O’Malley that concluded Friday, Amando Miguel-Ortiz, 37, was found guilty of first-degree Attempted Murder and a third and fourth-degree weapons offense.
On Monday, March 6, 2023, members of the Asbury Park Police Department were dispatched to a home on the 600 block of Second Avenue on a report of an assault.
Upon their arrival, they located the victim, the mother of Miguel-Ortiz’s child, who was transported to a local hospital for emergency treatment of a head injury. Only minutes later, Miguel-Ortiz was located outside a home on the 400 block of Langford Street, about a half-mile away, and he was taken into custody without incident.
The investigation by the Asbury Park Police Department determined that the victim was cooking at a friend’s home when Miguel-Ortiz entered the residence armed with a utility knife. Miguel-Ortiz then stabbed the victim once in the torso before grabbing her by the hair and stabbing her again in the back of the head. The victim’s friend then intervened, at which point Miguel-Ortiz fled the scene.
Miguel-Ortiz remained incarcerated at the Monmouth County Correctional Institution (MCCI) pending the trial.
This case was prosecuted by Monmouth County Assistant Prosecutors Jessica Sparano and Jamie Fitzgerald. Miguel-Ortiz was represented by Carlos Diaz Cobo, Esq., with an office in Freehold. Sentencing in the case has been tentatively scheduled for Friday, May 10, when Miguel-Ortiz will face a term of up to 20 years in state prison.
]]>LONG BRANCH, NJ – Monmouth County is home to numerous local breweries and distilleries, each with their own unique craft beverages.
Each brewery and distillery has its own flavor and atmosphere. The Monmouth County Board of County Commissioners hosted a kickoff event at Long Branch Distillery last Thursday, where the Board officially announced the month of March as Craft Beverage Month, through the Brewed & Distilled in Monmouth initiative.
The Long Branch Distillery is located at 199 Westwood Avenue in Long Branch and offers a welcoming setting with comfortable couch seating arranged to create many gathering options for both small and larger groups. The location is great to enjoy relaxing while enjoying local entertainment and sipping a craft beverage.
Above Photo: Commissioner Director Tom Arnone with owner of Long Branch Distillery, Mark Elia.
“For the first time, my fellow Commissioners and I are proclaiming March as Craft Beverage Month through our Brewed & Distilled in Monmouth initiative,” said Commissioner Director Thomas A. Arnone. “Brewed & Distilled in Monmouth is our latest program for economic development that focuses on the promotion of the breweries, distilleries and wineries in Monmouth County. I would like to encourage everyone to visit our breweries, distilleries and wineries during March in honor of Craft Beverage Month.
The initiative is intended to raise awareness of the craft beverage businesses in Monmouth County, to drive economic success for them.
“One of the focal points of the Brewed & Distilled in Monmouth program is to work with our craft beverage industry to identify potential business opportunities for them to explore,” said Director Arnone. “There will be an Open House on Tuesday, March 19, at 5 p.m. at the Hominy Hill Golf Course in Colts Neck for those interested in hearing more about these opportunities.” More information is below about March 19th.
Mark Elia, owner of Long Branch Distillery, was presented with a proclamation at the event from Monmouth County, naming the business and designating March as Craft Beverage Month.
Elia commented, "Long Branch Distillery is grateful to receive this recognition, and we appreciate all the support that we receive from Monmouth County government. Thank you."
Above photo: Mark Elia, owner of Long Branch Distillery
The Commissioner Board is always supporting initiatives that can help local businesses. On Tuesday, March 19th, you can join County Commissioners at 5PM, at Hominy Hill Clubhouse, for an information-sharing event to explore opportunities to partner with the Monmouth County Park System, to host golf events featuring local Brewed and Distilled. in Monmouth craft beverage makers to showcase their products-beer, wine, mead and spirits. The beverage sampling will be followed by a themed dinner. Six events will be planned. Stay tuned for the golf events to be announced. The liaisons to the Monmouth County Park System, Holmdel Township Committeeman, Brian Foster and Lori Ann Davidson of Keyport, attended last Thursday's announcement, in advance of their March 19th meeting. Stay tuned for more details soon...
Above photo: Brian Foster on the left, Lori Ann Davidson on the right: They are both Monmouth County liaisons to the Monmouth County Park System.
To learn more about Brewed & Distilled in Monmouth, visit www.BrewedandDistilledinMonmouth.com or follow Brewed & Distilled in Monmouth on Facebook and Instagram at @BrewedandDistilledinMonmouth.
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HOLMDEL, NJ - As the Islamic holy month of Ramadan arrives on Monday and lasts unti April 9th 2024, communities across New Jersey are geared up for a month of fasting, prayer, reflection, and community gatherings. Ramadan, one of the most significant periods in the Islamic calendar, holds deep cultural and religious significance for Muslims worldwide.
Local Mosques near residents in Monmouth County include the Islamic Society of Monmouth County on Red Hill Road in Middletown and the Islamic Center of Asbury Park. There are two other Mosques not too far away - the Islamic Center of Old Bridge on Route 35 in Cliffwood Beach and the Islamic Center of Staten Island on Veterans Road in Staten Island.
In Holmdel, the 2nd Annual Holmdel Township Community Ramadan Iftar will be held at the Senior/Community Center on Friday April 5, 2024, at 6:30PM.
Originating in the seventh century, Ramadan commemorates the month in which the Quran, the holy book of Islam, is believed to have been revealed to the Prophet Muhammad by Allah (God). The month-long observance is marked by fasting from dawn until sunset, during which Muslims abstain from food, drink, smoking, and other physical needs as a means of purifying the soul, practicing self-discipline, and empathizing with those less fortunate.
In New Jersey, the Muslim community comes together in various ways to observe and celebrate Ramadan. Mosques host nightly prayers called Taraweeh, where congregants recite portions of the Quran. Families gather for Suhoor, the pre-dawn meal before the fast begins, and Iftar, the meal to break the fast at sunset, often shared with friends, neighbors, and those in need.
Local organizations and charities in New Jersey also organize food drives and community outreach programs during Ramadan, emphasizing the importance of charity (Zakat) and helping those in need, reflecting one of the fundamental pillars of Islam.
Ramadan not only serves as a time of spiritual reflection and renewal but also fosters a sense of unity and solidarity within the Muslim community and beyond. As Muslims in New Jersey and around the world embark on this sacred journey, they carry with them the teachings of compassion, generosity, and devotion that define the essence of Ramadan.
]]>The history of Monmouth County Hunt is so interesting, make sure to check out the link at the bottom of this article!
MONMOUTH COUNTY: On March 22, the traditional Monmouth County Hunt will be held at the Battleground Country Club. This event will feature drinks, dinner, music, dancing and an equestrian-themed fashion show! Monmouth County Hunt (MCH) is extremely passionate about keeping tradition alive, preserving public lands, and passing on the sport of fox hunting to future generations.MCH hosts a spring fundraiser every other year with the goal of bridging the gap between membership dues and the funds needed to operate the kennels, pay the staff, and keep the hunt going! FOR SPONSORSHIP AND RESERVATION OPPORTUNITIES LEARN MORE HERE. LEARN ABOUT THE FASCINATING MONMOUTH COUNTY HUNT HISTORY HERE.
]]>HOLMDEL, NJ: Make sure to save the date for a very special event in Holmdel!
Holmdel's Earth Day Festival and Greenway Walk will be held on Sunday, April 28, 2024 at beautiful historic Bayonet Farm, 41 Middletown Road, Holmdel, 07733. The event will be held from 12PM-5PM. Admission, shows, tours and parking are FREE! The event is sponsored by the Holmdel Environmental Commission and CILU (Citizens for Informed Land Use). Arrive early before 11AM for a 2 mile Greenway walk, led by the pros! Enjoy the many exhibits, shows and activities for the whole family throughout the day! Don't miss this special event! See the detailed information below to learn more and visit HERE for more information.
Schedule of Activity Events
1 pm Kim's Critters presents Turtle vs Tortoise – Grey barn
2 pm Touch Mother Earth Drum Circle – On the lawn near the Red barn
3 pm Angela Juffey, What’s the Buzz on Bees? presentation – Grey barn
4 pm Mammal Mania / Eyes of the Wild – Grey barn
12 noon – 5 pm: Monmouth County Parks “Nature on the Move” Van – by the Red barn
Harding House Tours
• 12:30 pm • 1:30 pm • 2:30 pm • 3:30 pm • 4:30 pm SEE FLYER BELOW:
]]>This previously published TAPinto exclusive interview with Alyssa Regan is being shared again during Women's History Month 2024. #womenwhoinspire
Alyssa pictured above with her husband and their two children, is living a family life of love and happiness that she has always dreamed of.
NEW JERSEY: Alyssa Regan remembers that what she wanted more than anything, what she hoped and dreamed and prayed for during her entire childhood, was to have a happy family, to be loved, to feel safe, and wanted and cared for.
Her childhood sadly was everything but that. She suffered neglect and abuse from the time of her earliest memories. She was abandoned, and endured 22 foster homes, often separated from her siblings who she loved with all her heart, and was fiercely protective of. She lived a childhood of traumatic events, living in fear was her normal.
Trauma is not something that anyone "gets over" but one can achieve the success of finding the strength to first identify it, and then work through it the best way possible. Finding the therapies and coping methods that best fit one's individual needs for healing, is the key to unlocking a life that is not weighed down by fear and mental anguish. According to mental health experts; The effects of trauma that evolve into post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) will never entirely go away. However, they can be managed with proper treatment to make them less severe to live a normal and happy life.
PTSD is a disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a traumatic event. For example, physical, mental or sexual abuse, neglect, death of a loved one, believing you are unloved, bodily injury from an accident or a violent attack, sexual assault, substance use disorders, etc. Any event that causes extreme fear can cause PTSD. People with PTSD may have debilitating intense, disturbing thoughts and feelings related to their experience that lasts long after the traumatic event or events have ended. Individuals suffering with PTSD may have flashbacks or reoccurring nightmares. Sadness, fear and anger are common symptoms that can dominate the person's feelings. Someone with PTSD may feel detached or estranged from other people, even those they previously were close to, or those they would like to be close to, but their fear will not let them.
It is not unusual for victims of trauma to feel hopeless and stuck, and sometimes feel they are not worthy of having a good life. Alyssa Regan, the executive director of Healing Us Communities, (formerly CFC, an acronym for Coming Full Circle), a nonprofit organization that works to raise awareness of and prevent substance use disorders, as well as facilitates life-saving programs for those in recovery, shares her own trauma journey, providing hope to so many.
It seems so often in life, the people who are the most compassionate, and the ones who help others the most, often have gone through something traumatic in their lives. Alyssa Regan would be an example of that, and it is quickly realized in her role as Executive Director for CFC, where she is devoted to healing recovery for those suffering with substance use disorders and is capable of relating to their suffering on a level others may not.
Alyssa's mother-in-law; Lynn Regan commented to TAPinto: "When born into such turmoil and dysfunction one has to ask… where am I, is this my life? Will I eat today? Will I sleep safely tonight? Will I have to move families again? Alyssa has worked very hard to overcome her childhood trauma. She insists on breaking the generational barriers that she was handed. She is determined to be the loving mother that she never had, to provide a life for her children that she only saw in books, to live without conditions, to soften and trust and to share her life without shame. Alyssa is a powerful, passionate and determined woman and mother with a soft mushy heart and a playful spirit, that only a few get to see. I love her with all my heart."
Alyssa selflessly shared her journey with TAPinto, with the hope to help others realize that no matter how hopeless they may feel, they are worthy of living a beautiful life. Below is an interview with Alyssa:
TAPinto: Alyssa, I know you are married now and have a family of your own. Tell me a little bit about your family life now?
Alyssa: I am currently married with two children. We have a large Italian family on my in-laws' side. We meet every Sunday for big family dinners, and have a long-standing group chat where we send daily pictures and simple life updates. We are very close-knit, and we prioritize each other as being first. Family is definitely first for us.
Alyssa and her family on her husband's side.
TAPinto: I know you experienced trauma as a child, what can you tell me about that?
Alyssa: I am one of 12 children, all who were placed in DYFS at one point or another. I grew up primarily with my two brothers, one a year older than me- the other 4 years younger. My biological mother was a prostitute and my biological father was in and out for jail for most of my childhood. We lived in extreme poverty and would often go without food or necessities. We lost our house due to an eviction and moved into a Motel 6. Both of my biological parents struggled with undiagnosed mental health/ behavioral disorders and addiction. They were physically violent towards each other and all the children. My biological uncle would often babysit for my parents and would engage in sexual activity with me and would force my oldest brother and I to engage in sexual activity together. This started when I was 4 years old. My brothers and I were removed from our biological parents' care when I was 6 years old. We were separated from each other and placed in the foster care system.
TAPinto: Ok, so at age 6, you began experiencing many different foster homes, correct?
Alyssa: Yes, from the ages 6-9 years old, I was placed in 22 foster and group homes. Some stays were as short as a 24-hour period, and the longest was 6 months. Because I bounced around so often, I missed formative years in school and had a hard time keeping up with my peers. I also struggled with undiagnosed ADHD during this time, and it greatly affected my emotional and mental state. In foster care, I experienced more sexual abuse, gang related violence, and physical abuse at the hands of my caretakers and other foster children. I felt unlovable. I never felt safe. I was in a constant state of survival. I vividly remember shoving food into my socks, so I would have something to eat later, and moving furniture to pee in the night when my foster parents would lock the door as “punishment.” The psychological turmoil was immense.
TAPinto: Were you placed with your biological siblings at any point?
Alyssa: In some of my placements, I was with my youngest brother who was mostly non-verbal until the age of four. He struggled with behavioral issues and had fetal alcohol syndrome. Oftentimes, the foster parents were not equipped to handle his outbursts and would abuse him for “acting out,” I took on the responsibility of protecting him and because of that, I’d often do things out of character in order to ensure his safety. For example, we were potentially going to be adopted by a couple and I overheard them in the evening speaking about how they were interested in adopting me, but they felt my brother's behavioral issues were too much of a concern, so they were going to request to only adopt me. Hearing this, I waited for them to go to bed and snuck downstairs after they had fallen asleep. I placed hand towels in the sink and lit them on fire. They woke up and immediately called our case manager to remove us from their home and in my 6-year-old mind, I had accomplished my goal. My brother and I would be together and all was “safe” for now. I was labeled after that incident as a thief, arsonist, and violent child. “Unadoptable,” was what my caseworker called me.
Above is Alyssa and her brother.
TAPinto: Wow, you endured so much at such a young age. Was there a pivotal time when you were a child that you remember?
Alyssa: At the age of 9, my youngest brother and I were placed in another home with the goal of foster-to-adopt, and both my brother and I were finally adopted. We now were part of a real family. My adoptive parents are both educators, my adoptive mother specializing later in special education.
Within a few weeks of our placement, my adoptive mother began showing signs of outrage and violent fits. As an adult now I understand it as narcissism and manipulative behavior. I was 9, and just adopted, and we had just finished painting my bedroom, and I remember feeling so emotional because I finally had a space to call my own. I had my own bed, my own closet, and bright pink room. She came in and threw everything from my shelves, screaming in my face and pushing me onto the bed. She smashed a photo I had saved of a previous foster family. It was terrifying. After she had asked me not to mention it to my adoptive father and didn’t apologize for her outburst. She would do this often, emotional warfare as a way to manipulate a situation. I was never good enough, never smart enough, never gracious enough. She would often use the line, “you wouldn’t have x,y,z if it weren't for the fact that we adopted you.”
They were very conservative in how they showed affection, interacted with others, and spoke about things like sex. To the outside world, they demonstrated very liberal views and were accepting of all people regardless of gender, race, or sexual orientation, but to our nuclear family, they were very biased.
TAPinto: That is so unfair. What would you like to share about obstacles, hurdles, overcoming adversity?
Alyssa: I am often asked when I share my story, how I make it through the experiences I had as a child or what was the driving force behind my survival. I think that the fact that my brother depended on me so much during that time that I was able to hide behind that dedication to him. I had an overwhelming sense of my circumstances at a very young age and I would just consistently tell myself that I had to be the one to break the cycle. I think to anyone who is going through or has been through a tough situation has to remember that there is always hope, there are always people who are willing to help you. It takes an enormous amount of courage and belief to continue pushing yourself through, but I think that everyone should know that it truly does pay off in the long run and one day, you won't have to survive, you can just live.
TAPinto: That is very profound, from surviving to living... I may use that in the headline. Are there any happy moments in your childhood that you remember? Or anyone in your childhood who stands out that gave you hope?
Alyssa: I have a few. My brothers meant the world to me, and still do. Growing up, I remember dancing in the rain with them and quiet nights where my older brother and I would talk about our dream of getting out one day, and what life would be like if we actually survived. I cherished those small moments with him. I wouldn’t have been able to be who I became without him. He was the first person to teach me what it meant to be brave.
Right before my adoption placement, I stayed with an amazing foster family. They were the first people to acknowledge my trauma and help me work through some of the experiences I had. They validated my feelings and held a safe space for me to express myself. They encouraged me to be a kid. Running around outside until it got dark, staying up late watching cartoons and eating popcorn, riding our bikes to the corner store. They stayed in touch with me after I was adopted and even attended my 8th grade graduation.
When I was adopted, I became really close with my adoptive father's aunt. Her name was Jan. She was a witness at my adoption, and she had such a way of looking at the world. She loved ordinary things and gave me the space to explore, and we would often talk about the trees, the grass, the flowers, the bees. She was one of the first people who just let me be, and it meant the world to me. When she passed, I had a really hard time adjusting. I felt abandoned. I still miss her a lot and talk about her often. Her photo sits on my Ofrenda every year.
TAPinto: Thank you for sharing, what were your teen years like?
Alyssa: In high school, I started dating, and I went to a predominately black and hispanic public school so naturally, my boyfriends were people of color. When my parents found out that I was becoming intimate with my boyfriend they outed me to my school teachers who in turn would often let me know how “disappointed” in me they were and how I had hurt my mother. I was punished at home by not being able to eat dinner with them, they would do this often. Withhold quality time with them or food as a punishment. They pulled me from all extracurricular activities and made it a point to isolate me from my peers and others as a way to scare me into conforming to what they wanted.
Once I graduated from high school, my boyfriend left for the army. I went to visit him for his graduation and when I returned, they had changed the locks on the door and didn’t answer my phone calls until a week later. They allowed me to come back home, but I had to sign a contract agreement that stated they would no longer help me get to and from college (I graduated 3rd in my class and was in the NJ Stars Program with a full ride scholarship to Brookdale Community and any state college of my choice), because I had to get a full time job to support myself, I was forced to drop out of college. They went out of their way to make things for me as difficult as possible, so I would “need” them.
This continued for some time, and eventually they kicked me out. That day, they left the house while I was visiting with a friend and I returned thinking we were all going to the boardwalk, as planned. I waited for them outside my house for 5 hours before calling the police (at midnight) because I was worried, and I thought they had been in an accident. The police arrived at my house and my parents returned very quickly. I later found out they were at a neighbors house watching me through the window. I was escorted into my house and packed a trash bag full of my belongings. I remember feeling like it was starting all over again. I’m “unlovable” “unwanted” “trash.”
I tried to reconcile with them through family therapy and invite them back into my life, but they did not want to take any responsibility for their hand in any of my experiences, and they continued to withhold my youngest brother from me as a way to punish me from afar. It has been a very emotional and traumatic experience for me. I haven’t been in contact with them for almost 4 years now.
TAPinto: I am so sorry that you endured all of that. Was that rock bottom for you?
Alyssa: Yes-Definitely when my adoptive parents kicked me out. I really battled with that loss for a long time. It’s hard to not feel like it's your fault. Like you weren't good enough, you didn't do enough, you really were unlovable. It makes you question who you are and if there is something wrong with you. It makes you fearful of making lasting connections and makes you feel withdrawn from your emotions. When I was kicked out of my adoptive parent house, my entire adoptive family also stopped talking to me. It was really difficult for me to navigate. I felt so isolated and alone. I was 19 years old, working a minimum wage job, a college drop out, and homeless. It was a really dark time.
TAPinto: Your painful journey was ongoing... not fair... What education did you have?
Alyssa: Today, I am a licensed CCMA and I also am a Real Estate Agent. Growing up, I was an honor roll student all of middle school and high school, I graduated 3rd in my class with a scholarship to community/ state college. I struggled in school due to my ADHD, but I was an overachiever, I wanted to prove to my adoptive parents I was capable. Because of my time in foster care, I missed a big portion of my math education and still struggle with that to this day. I still don’t know my multiplication tables or how to tell time on a regular clock. I used to be really embarrassed by it for a long time, but I was able to identify my strengths and how my brain “learns” and really leaned into that.
TAPinto: Recently we celebrated Mother's Day, that can be a trigger for many people who have had loss. I imagine Mother’s Day was not always an easy holiday for you. What was your Mother's Day like this year as a mother yourself living in a family with so much love?
Alyssa: Mother's Day was always a difficult holiday. It was hard seeing others celebrate their mothers and share such intimate moments together. I longed for that connection and sometimes, I still am sad that I do not have the relationship I wanted with my bio mother or adoptive mom. Now that I am a mom, I have more unanswered questions, knowing that I could never allow my children to feel what I felt as a child. I've come to terms with never having the answers. I have so many other women in my life who I celebrate now. We spent this past Mother's Day putting together our gardens, prepping for summer vegetables. It's so special to have the moments where I get to teach my children about the importance of taking care of mother nature, slowing down, stopping to smell the flowers, splashing in the puddles and not worrying about the mud we will inevitably track into the house. Quality time with my mother was something I was never afforded so being able to create these memories with my children makes my inner child so happy. I'm being the person I so needed as a child and that's incredibly healing.
TAPinto: That's beautiful thank you. Who in your life was, and secondly who is, your inspiration?
Alyssa: I met my mother-in-law when I was 19 years old, just weeks after I was kicked out of my parents house. CFC Loud N Clear was in its second year then and she had previously owned multiple businesses. She had a great relationship with her children and lived (and still does) a full and happy life. She overcame adversity every day. No one can tell her no, she makes it happen. She can make something out of absolutely nothing, she has a way of creating the most incredible things. I had never met a woman in my life who was so strong in her decisions, but was still loving and open. She has been a true inspiration to me. She always takes the leap. I want to be more like that. Just willing to do it, no matter what it takes. She is so special to me, and I am so grateful to have her guidance as a woman and as a mom. She was there for the birth of my daughter and has been there for every accomplishment in my young adult life cheering me on.
TAPinto: What advice would you give your young self?
Alyssa: I would tell my young self that there's nothing you could have done to change the outcome of your experiences. It is not your fault you didn’t receive the loving attunement you needed as a child. You are loved, you are important, you matter. You will break the cycle. Your story is worth living. I so wish I could hold that little girl and just hug her tight.
TAPinto: Me too! What advice would you give to a young person feeling hopeless?
Alyssa: Believe in yourself and keep taking the leap. Keep pushing through. Don’t wait for someone else to because 9 times out of 10, there is no knight in shining armor coming to save you. You can achieve it, take hold of your life and create your own reality and don’t let other people's opinions of you get you off course. It will all work out in the end. You are loved and valuable even if you think you aren’t. If no one else believes in you, I do. I know you can.
TAPinto: That is important messaging. What trauma therapies do you believe work the best for you?
Alyssa: I have been in intensive inner child psychotherapy with Noah Rothschild for a few months now. It focuses on somatic breathing, meditation, and positive self talk. Words of affirmation and manifestation are huge for me right now. I didn’t resonate with traditional therapy, and I am so grateful for people like Noah who offer a different pathway. It has been life changing for me. I know myself more now than I ever have. I am ready to tell my story because of the tools he’s given me.
TAPinto: Well thank you Noah then! How did you meet your husband?
Alyssa: I met Danny through a mutual friend of CFC Loud N Clear. I was invited by her to a pool party and at the time, I did not know it was a sober event they were holding. It was an instant connection. We bonded over our love of nature and holistic wellness, and he has such a way of making people feel safe. I shared my story with him, and he didn’t shy away from the challenge of being with someone who was battling with so much trauma. He has been so patient with me, and we lead our relationship with honesty and love. I know I can truly be myself with him. He’s the first person to have shown me what true unconditional love could look like. He’s the best partner, the best father, and I am so honored to be on this journey with him. He created such an amazing life for himself over the last 12 years in his recovery. He is the most humble and kind person I know. He would give his shirt off his back for anyone, and he really leads with integrity. He’s a true inspiration to so many people, myself included.
Alyssa and her husband Daniel on their wedding day.
TAPinto: Tell me about your role with CFC?
Alyssa: I’ve recently become Executive Director of CFC. Prior to Executive Director, I worked as a volunteer for CFC events and in marketing as a graphic designer and event planning assistant. I trained for almost 2 years in my assistant executive director position with Lynn Regan before taking on this role. I am honored to be able to take on my mother-in-law's legacy and to continue the mission my family started. I recently lost my cousin, who was really like a sister to me, to addiction last year and I have lost multiple friends over the years. It really does mean so much to me to be able to be in this field and offer a different perspective to others supporting their loved ones in recovery. It has been an incredible learning experience for me. I think we always knew that this is where I would end up, this was what I was meant to do, I just didn’t believe in myself enough yet.
TAPinto: What do you love most about CFC?
Alyssa: CFC has cultivated an incredible community of people who lead with love and hope. Because we offer a multiple pathways approach to recovery, we are able to give our recoveries the best shot for a successful recovery journey. I love that this program can be applied to anything, not just addiction. Anyone can work this program and gain something of value from it. We have so many alumni who have multiple years of recovery under their belt and are hugely successful in their life. We’ve had CFC weddings on our family farm and babies born. When I was giving birth to our first child, a CFC alumni was also giving birth in the next room, and she had just celebrated her second year in recovery. This community has a way of connecting everyone in such a beautiful way and I think it’s because it was born out of a mother's love for her son.
TAPinto: CFC is a nonprofit, correct?
Alyssa: Yes, we are a New Jersey 501c3 Relapse Prevention Program located in Monmouth/Ocean County. Using a multiple pathways approach and strong accountability system, our programs are designed to rebuild lives from the ground up and inspire each member to achieve long term recovery. In 2012, after many outpatient and inpatient treatment centers, and years of an uphill battle with addiction, our family discovered the gaps in the current system and realized a need for diverse programs of extended aftercare. At 21 years old, Daniel Regan developed a recovery system for himself with the help of his mother, Lynn Regan. After successfully practicing this recovery system, others became interested and asked to get involved, so they too could sustain long term recovery thus they created CFC Loud N Clear Foundation, a New Jersey 501c3 to offer an aftercare program available for all. Since conception, CFC has assisted over 20,000 families struggling with addiction and has received numerous accolades and rewards for the innovative, groundbreaking approach to recovery. We have an 85% success rate in helping our members achieve and maintain long term recovery (18+ months). Daniel, now married with two children, just celebrated his 12th year in Recovery.
TAPinto: The 85% is very impressive. What is your message to anyone who is suffering with a substance use disorder?
Alyssa: There is hope. It may seem impossible now, but you can achieve it. Community is so important. It really does take a village. We offer a hand up, not a hand out, because you can’t always do it on your own, and you shouldn't have to. If you or a loved one are struggling, reach out. There are some many resources available now to give you the best possible chance at recovery. Multiple pathways and relapse prevention is so important for people to become educated and learn about their many options for recovery. You don’t have to conform or fit into a box anymore.
TAPinto: What events have you had recently, and what is coming up with CFC? (NOTE: these events below have passed at the time of republishing this article).
Alyssa: CFC Loud N Clear held its 3rd Annual Women’s Empowerment Tea Party in April at the Mathis Tea House. Some of our members in recovery and their family members shared their stories of hope while sharing in a traditional Victorian style lunch. It was truly an incredible day of togetherness and empowerment. In partnership with the Freehold Raceway Mall in May we held our “Painting the Mall Purple” for Mental Health & Recovery Awareness. Organizers planned an incredible day of outreach, awareness, and action. This free family-friendly event featured guest speakers, community resources, musicians, meditation, yoga, drum circles, and so much more.
Our signature event is coming up! Save the date for the CFC Loud N Clear Foundation's annual festival, Rock The Farm, on September 23, 2023. This event will feature food trucks, beach yoga, and all of your favorite tribute bands like honoring Nirvana, ABBA, Coldplay, Grateful Dead, Led Zepplin, and more! This family friendly event, kids 10 and under free, has the world’s greatest FOAM dance floor, Kidzone Arts & Crafts, face painting, braid bar, and so much more! Come enjoy the greatest event of summer and support a cause making waves in our communities.
TAPinto: Alyssa, thank you so much for sharing your inspirational and courageous journey. No doubt you provide hope to so many. To learn more about Alyssa's story, you can view this podcast:
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