Health & Wellness

Press Releases

Scotch Plains-Fanwood Counselor Offers Three Vital Tips for Supporting a Grieving Adolescent

4eced8e182d9269d0ec3_d64acec8a7c8a1f9f90b_Rebecca_Bergeron.jpg
Rebecca Bergeron
4eced8e182d9269d0ec3_d64acec8a7c8a1f9f90b_Rebecca_Bergeron.jpg

SCOTCH PLAINS/FANWOOD, NJ -- When a peer dies, teenagers are confronted with the realities of death, a very scary topic that many of us find taboo to speak of.  Many teenagers believe death only happens to old people.

When it does happen to a friend or peer, beliefs about life and the world are shaken. Below are some tips regarding how to assist teenagers as they grieve.

1. Communication is key… when he or she is ready!

Sign Up for E-News

Encourage your teen to talk about the death without being overbearing. You may hear others suggest not to talk about it because it is upsetting or depressing. Anyone dealing with grief may need to talk about the loss, but in small doses. It is important to know that loss and death are not taboo subjects. While many friends and family may not encourage talking about it or even want to talk about it, it helps to share how you are feeling. Do not feel that you cannot say the name of the person who has passed away.

Everyone grieves in their own way and that may not include talking about it, at least right away. Sometimes asking open ended questions can facilitate communication. For example, “How has it been for you since the death of your friend?"

Also, we need to remember that sometimes the grief expels itself not in a form of verbal communication, but also as an outlet on social media. Allow your teenager to express himself or herself how they see fit without fear of criticism.

2. Crying is OK!

Let your child cry. It is a myth that tears expressing grief are only a sign of weakness. Unfortunately, many people associate tears of grief with weakness. Your teen may hear “Tears won’t bring him back.” Or “He wouldn’t want you to cry.” Crying helps release the built up tension and even the anger he or she may feel. Allow that time and try not to discourage it. Tears are actually a healthy means of coping. Grief is actually something that needs to be experienced rather than overcome.

On the flip side, it is also ok for anyone grieving not to cry and should not be made to feel guilty over it. (Read more in #3.)

3. Stages of Grief? Are there any really?

There is no order or stages to the grief process despite what many of us believe. While many of us think that there is a set order to gain acceptance about a loss, there really is no set succession. The stages of loss: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance can fluctuate.

Everyone grieves differently and while one peer may be in tears right now, another may be yelling out in anger and another one denying the death even occurred.

These stages can occur in any order and can waver between stages many times. The sense of loss does not magically disappear. The time table is different for everyone. Just let it be and try your best not to judge or criticize anyone for how he or she is responding to the loss. Never assume because a certain period of time has passed, an individual should be further along in their grief.

Rebecca Bergeron, C.P.C. is a Certified Professional Coach who is versed in the grief process. Her goal is to empower and motivate others to move forward and find peace by rediscovering their dreams after coping with loss. Anyone in need of support can contact her at Imagine Today Coaching, (973) 951-3535, Imaginetodaycoaching@gmail.com. She based in Fanwood.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

Kenilworth

Cranford Jaycees Annual Golf Outing Raises Money For Community

July 18, 2018

CRANFORD, NJ - The Township of Cranford Junior Chamber of Commerce (“Jaycees”) held their 12th Annual Golf Outing on Friday, June 22, 2018, at the Galloping Hill Golf Course in Kenilworth. The outing raised $8,000.00 which will benefit two worthy community organizations, the Cranford Baseball and Softball League Inc. and the Union County Educational Services Commission ...

'Servant of Two Masters' exudes foolish fun

‘Servant of Two Masters’ makes for foolish, frivolous fun

By Liz Keill

MADISON, NJ –Carlo Goldoni’s “The Servant of Two Masters,” in a rousing translation and adaptation by Bonnie J. Monte, has the outdoor audience at The Shakespeare Theatre of New Jersey laughing and clapping all the way through.

The yearly production, held at the amphitheatre on the ...

Rutgers Hikes Tuition, Student Fees for 2018-2019 Academic Year

July 18, 2018

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Rutgers University Board of Governors today approved a 2.3 percent hike in tuition and fees, as well as increases for dorm rooms and meals, for the 2018-2019 academic year.

The increase now brings the annual cost for undergraduate students to $14,975, which is $337 more than this past school year.

Student housing will increase 1.9 percent, and ...

To Our Current and Future Representatives

July 17, 2018

To Our Current and Future Representatives - Wherever They May Be:

We can never forget we are a nation of immigrants. 

We cannot fall prey to fear, ignorance and anger when we  have been historically driven by freedom and justice. 

We must have the courage and will to fight hate, bigotry and prejudice. 

We must not wake up to what we hoped was a bad dream and ...

Upcoming Events

Sat, July 21, 10:00 AM

NJ Convention and Exposition Center, Edison

82nd Annual Garden State Cat Show & Expo

Giving Back Other

Carousel_image_1eb83a6fad4b6893940e_17ee96028d17dc070892_a_new_design

Thu, August 9, 7:00 PM

Union Elks Lodge #1583 , Union

Donna Summer Tribute Concert

Arts & Entertainment

Union County College Foundation’s 3rd “Close the Gap” Campaign Surpasses Goal

July 18, 2018

With over 150 guests and volunteers in attendance, the Union County College Foundation surpassed their goal and raised nearly $55,000 at their 3rd Annual Close the Gap Campaign cocktail reception. Held on July 11, in the Richel Student Commons at the College’s Cranford campus, this campaign was developed by a small group of dedicated community volunteers to support the College’s ...

Crowdfunding Options for Entrepreneurs and Small Businesses

Source: Many small start-up businesses and tech ventures in search of capital turn to popular online platforms for crowd fundraising of financial resources to get their concept off the ground and launched into market. Indiegogo, Kickstarter, and GoFundMe, to name a few, offer solutions in generating cash to fund new ideas. How do you get people to contribute to your cause?  Sam Burlum ...