Dear Christy,

Recently I’ve been feeling very guilty about lots of things in my life.  My kids are getting older and will be off to college soon.  My parents are older and don’t have much time left.  I work full time and so does my husband.  At the end of the day I find myself asking, “Did I do enough?” Is there a way to know if you have done enough for everyone? Is it ever enough? 

Sincerely,

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Feeling Guilty

 

Dear Feeling Guilty,

You are enough. Just by being you, that’s enough. 

Feeling guilty could mean a few different things. Maybe you feel guilty because you are not taking enough time for yourself every week. That’s extremely important to a person's well-being.

Or maybe you feel guilty that you’re not spending enough quality time with your kids, husband and parents.

You are only one person, and it’s not possible to be everything to everyone. I recommend doing an “inventory” of quality time spent with all of the relationships in your life. First start with yourself. 

  1. Spending time alone to do things I like to do __ hours a week?
  2. Alone time with my husband __ hours a week?
  3. Alone time with my kids __ a week?
  4. Alone time with my parents __ a week?
  5. Time with my family a __ week?

If you start to block out time for all of these relationships weekly then at the end of the week you will never come up short.

Sometimes “time spent” looks like a FaceTime phone call to your parents or a walk in the woods with your husband. It could be lunch with your kids or walking the dog by yourself. Get creative and start booking time with the ones you love and yourself. 

By the way, you are doing great! Just work on becoming your best self—for yourself and every one around you. Just be being yourself and caring about how you show up in other people’s lives make you a very special person. 

All the very best,

Christy