Kim Jong Trump

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.

Last week, at the White House, the unworldly leader and tarnished head of this once-great land, opened a nationally televised meeting of his senior cabinet at work by inviting all to hear about the important business he and his cronies were up to. So, what did the nation hear? 

Right out of the North Korean playbook, the Supreme Leader first took time to praise himself as the most accomplished president “with few exceptions”—maybe FDR might come close, he conceded.

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“Nobody could have imagined how many jobs we’ve created in the last seven months,” he said. (Less, by the way, than the number of jobs created in the previous seven months by his predecessor.) 

The Leader then trumpeted that the papers were full of “big, big stories” about new mines opening. (That’s one mine owned by Corsa Coal Corporation—a major contributor to his political campaign—that will supply coal used in making steel and is expected to generate, at most, only 100 full-time jobs.)

Trump continued, celebrating his “record setting” achievements as a signer of legislation, “Which are the greatest; and most ever!”  (OK, I know it’s hard to think of a single piece of substantive legislation that bears Trump’s graffiti-like scrawl.)   However, under our inglorious trailblazer, Twitter has now become a new branch of government and every tweet, made from the safety of his oversized crib, counts as legislation: from calling the former head of the FBI a coward, to refuting the facts brought forward by 17 heads of the nation’s security agencies confirming that Russia indeed interfered with the presidential election. 

In my imaginings, in the midst of this cabinet meeting, having worked up an appetite by talking about how great he is, El Supremo took a golf cart to the snack bar down the hall to grab some cold KFC. He then made his motorized return to hear more cheers from his business partners, the “esteemed” cabinet.  For the next hour or so, the sound of “kissing lips-on-derriere” could be heard as one appointee after another took his or her turn telling Trump what a wonderful president he is and how right he is about everything.  At Trump’s request, each member of his cabinet made sure to explain how much they love and respect Donald Trump. “Do you love me, Mike? Do you love me, Jeff? Do you love me, Scott? Do you love me, Betsy?”   

The cabinet meeting might not have seemed to have held any purpose other than two hours of unmitigated brownnosing, but it did. It gave Trump an opportunity to probe his cabinet, making sure that, considering the troubles he’s experiencing, his department heads pledge obedience in front of one another and stroke his ever-needy ego. 
Jeff Sessions, the attorney general (as of this writing), wowed the attendees and won high praise from his boss by discussing the regime’s “new idea” to “properly, lawfully” work with state and local law enforcement “to fight the rising crime that they’re seeing,” and put pot smokers in jail for a long, long time. (Latest FBI figures do not support Sessions’ contention of rising crime rates.) 

The Environmental Protection Agency’s chief, Scott Pruitt, also went above and beyond the call of duty to both brag about his visit to China, and boast about how the United States pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord really means that America was going to be a “leader” in reusable energy. (This show of utter idiocy not only won smiles of agreement from his compatriots, but a broad smile of acknowledgment from the Idiot-in-chief, himself).
“On behalf of the entire staff around you,” concluded Reince Priebus, the White House chief of staff, “we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you’ve given us to serve your agenda and the American people.”  

God help us!

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of or anyone who works for is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

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