PB&J, but Hold the Peanut Butter and Hold the Jelly

When I had kids, there were a lot of things I didn’t know about parenting. But the one thing I was certain of was that my future would probably be chock full of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Since I knew it was the preferred lunch choice for picky eaters, I had no doubt my children would fall squarely into the peanut butter and jelly camp and I was destined to find smears of PB&J on my walls and furniture for years to come.

Of course, the worst thing you can do with kids is make cocky assumptions, because as soon as you plunk down a wad of bills on a case of Skippy at Costco, your 4 year-old will whip around and tell you that PB&J is totally disgusting and she's not having it.

Sign Up for E-News

Not wanting to give up on this most basic of American staples, we tried chunky and smooth, fresh ground, organic, chocolate flavored, almond butter, cashew butter and just about everything else made of nuts on the market. But she stubbornly refused all of it and declared herself a Peanutbutteretarian. When I told her that meant she only ate peanut butter, she assured me I was wrong and invoked her constitutional right for mac and cheese instead.

Eventually, she started eating whatever we served her… although it didn't happen until just before she went off to college. Sadly, though, within a week of moving in, she immediately returned to eating mac and cheese. Having tasted the dorm food first hand, I could understand her reluctance to dine on the mystery meat du jour. But even with the black hole of edible dorm food, my daughter still would not deign to eat peanut and butter jelly.

I finally decided the time had come to give up on the peanut butter and jelly dream and accept that only one of my children would follow in a long line of Beckerman peanut butter eaters.

Then, one day, we took a family trip out of town and found ourselves at a restaurant that served no less than 40 different kinds of hamburgers. They had everything on the menu from tuna sushi on burgers to pastrami reubens on burgers. We all perused the menu for a while and then when the server asked my daughter for her order, she said: “I’d like the peanut butter and jelly burger,”

We all gaped at her in silence.

“You want the WHAT?” I finally asked her.

“The peanut butter and jelly burger,” she replied.

“But you HATE peanut butter and jelly,” I said.

She thought for a moment. “Well, I haven’t tried it for a while and I do love hamburgers so I thought if I combined the two it might taste good.”

My husband and I were astonished but said nothing. About 20 minutes later our orders arrived.  But no one took a bite of their burgers. We all just waited and stared at my daughter as she dug into her peanut butter and jelly burger.

“Well, what do you think?” I finally asked her.

“It’s totally disgusting,” she said. “I’m just going to get a regular peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead.”

For more Lost in Suburbia, follow Tracy on Facebook at facebook.com/LostinSuburbiaFanPage or on Twitter at @TracyinSuburbia.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News


What Is Cambridge Analytica?

Cambridge Analytica is a research organization. Apparently, it is funded by the Mercer family, second only to the Koch brothers on the liberal hit list. Both, through their philanthropy, spend millions on various needy organizations like hospitals. What makes them liberal targets is their funding of various conservative think tanks and candidates. I digress.

Cambridge Analytica used Facebook ...

‘Sister Act’: A Musical Like Nun Other

Of all the Broadway musicals I’ve seen over the years at Westchester Broadway Theatre, only a handful have elicited the noisily enthusiastic audience response I observed at the recent opening night of “Sister Act.”

There were outbursts of applause in the middle of some numbers, and several clever turns of phrase sprinkled in the dialogue landed squarely, to the delight of big ...

Seen Any Good Ol’ Movies Lately?

As I become more, uh, mature, I find myself enjoying older movies more than newer movies. The trio of films presented here for your consideration are three of my all-time favorites. They share great stories, great screenplays, great directing, great acting. They also have in common ratings in the 90s on Rotten Tomatoes, and a place of distinction in the National Film Registry, a highly selective ...

Privacy? LOL!

Author’s Note: Mom + Pop Culture are a couple of real characters. They could be you and me. Or not. Every so often, I eavesdrop on their conversations. Let’s listen in on what they’re saying right now about how Facebook fans are shocked—shocked!—that their privacy has been compromised, prompting them to rise up and exhort oppressed social media users everywhere to ...

Cleaning the Empty Nest

Part of the shock of being a part-time empty nester is when the kids come back to visit and I have to watch my house transform overnight from a pristine haven of OCD goodness to a place that looks like an explosion happened at Forever 21.

After my kids moved mostly out, I put away whatever tchotchkes they chose to leave behind and then I put on a hazmat suit and cleaned their rooms until they ...

Tipping the Scales in My Favor

As I was settling into bed one night, I happened to catch my husband out of the corner of my eye.

He was getting on the scale.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” I yelled at him. He jerked his head around and looked at me with alarm.

“What? I’m weighing myself.”

I jumped out of bed and yanked him off the scale. 

“You can’t do that now!” I ...

Doing Time in the Big House

“So, what did the doctor say about Dad?” I asked my mom over the phone.

“He has an incarcerated hernia,” she replied.

“INCARCERATED hernia?” I repeated.


“Why is it incarcerated? Did it rob a bank?”

“What? No.”

“Unlawful entry? Obstruction? Insider trading?” I ...

Upcoming Events

Sat, May 19, 10:00 AM

FDR State Park, Yorktown Heights

BluePath Service Dogs 2nd Annual Walkathon

Giving Back

Sun, May 20

Franklin D. Roosevelt State Park , Yorktown Heights

2nd Annual Northwell Health Walk at Westchester

Arts & Entertainment Giving Back Health & Wellness

Thu, May 24, 6:30 PM


College Admission Webinar


Houlihan Lawrence in Yorktown Welcomes Three New Team Members

April 10, 2018

Zef Camaj, brokerage manager, recently welcomed three salespersons to the team.

Marco Nogueras is an enthusiastic and dedicated professional who uses technologically advanced marketing techniques bringing the real estate experience to a new level. He values customer service and will ensure your goals are met while keeping you updated on current market conditions. Marco has spent the majority ...