As another year closes the door on us—or are we the ones closing the door?—I admit to confusion about some numbers.
Apparently, I have company floating in that cloud.
Take this example: I just saw an ad for a restaurant that is promoting its package for “New Year’s Eve 2016.” That raises the annual question, what do we call it: New Year’s Eve 2015 or New Year’s Eve 2016?
The envelope, please. Aha! The answer is that until 12 midnight on Dec. 31, it’s New Year’s Eve 2015. After 12 midnight, it’s New Year’s Day 2016.
There also is apparent lack of agreement about the meaning even of the itty-bitty word “Eve.” At least one advertisement I saw seemed to deem the term inadequate, so it doubled down by referring to “New Year’s Eve Night.”
That redundancy might make some sense if you consider that all of Dec. 31—morning, noon and night—is broadly seen as New Year’s Eve. That’s especially a good way to look at it if you are itching to leave work as early in the day as possible, which affords you ample time to coat your tummy with milk of magnesia, drink plenty of water and confirm that your designated driver is ready to roll.
It’s also helpful to separate New Year’s Eve Day from New Year’s Eve Night as a safeguard against champagne corks popping prematurely at 12 noon.
New Year’s is not the only happy holiday suffering a split personality. Someone Tweeted a message the other day demanding to know why the calendar lists Dec. 26 as Day After Christmas Day (DACD).
If you use a Google calendar, check it out. That’s exactly what it says. Upon further investigation, I discovered DACD is a public holiday in several states. In some cases, its status as a holiday hinges on which day of the week Dec. 26 happens to occur. This year, it was a Saturday, with six states declaring DACD a public holiday (according to TimeandDate.com): Kansas, Kentucky, New Hampshire, North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas. In other states, it’s known as “Return Unwanted Gifts Day.”
Extending the perks of a holiday into the following day reminds me of the parent who posted a question this past October on a Facebook group page, asking if it’s appropriate to go trick-or-treating on Oct. 31 or the day after Halloween. I’m guessing her calendar shows Nov. 1 as Day After Halloween Day.
You might call the year ahead Two Thousand Sixteen, but a few others will call it Twenty-Sixteen. I’m with them. For a simple reason: Did you, or anyone you know, ever refer to a 20th century year as, say, One Thousand Nine Hundred Ninety Five? What did this century ever do to you to deserve such long-winded years?
I began this year-end missive intending to present sundry predictions about Twenty Sixteen. Sadly, in the time-dishonored tradition of Q&A sessions always coming at the tail end of a presentation, when there is hardly time left for questions, I’ve run out of both time and space.
And you’ve run out of patience.
So, here are a few prognostications...
• To capitalize on the two biggest movies of this year—“Jurassic World” and “Star Wars”—we can look forward to “Star World,” with a guest cameo by legendary dinosaur Harrison Ford.
• The hoverboard, which displayed a hidden pyrotechnic talent for bursting into flames, will be remarketed as a fireplace starter that doubles as kindling.
• Caitlyn Jenner, who as Bruce Jenner did the U.S. proud in the 1976 Summer Olympics by taking home the Gold Medal in the games’ premier event—the decathlon—will star in a sports-themed remake of hit TV sitcom “Golden Girls.”
• Realizing that he already has more celebrity—and much more money—than any president of the U.S. could muster (minus the global-size headaches), the irrepressible Donald Trump will take leave of his historic and hysterical candidacy by Tweeting, “So long, suckers!”
• With the redoubtable front-runner out of the way, the nation’s dual fascination with TV personalities and with electing the first female president will give rise to the major parties’ ultimate nominees: reality TV diva Bethenny Frankel squaring off against someone as rich as Mr. Trump—billionairess Oprah Winfrey.
Warmest wishes for a more peaceful, prosperous and fulfilling year for all of us.
Media and marketing specialist Bruce Apar, also known as Bruce The Blog, is Chief Content Officer of Pinpoint Marketing & Design, a Google Partner agency. He also owns APAR All-Media, a Hudson Valley marketing agency that works with The Winery at St. George, Yorktown Feast of San Gennaro, Jefferson Valley Mall, Yorktown Stage, Axial Theatre, Armonk Players and others. Follow him on Hudson Valley WXYZ on Facebook, Twitter & YouTube. Reach him at email@example.com or 914-275-6887.
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