My name is Bruce and I’m a snowflake.

It’s quite the burden to bear.

I trace it to my childhood.

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I don’t know what my parents were thinking.

They had a crazy notion to bring me up to not reflexively dislike other people.

So, I don’t know any better.

I don’t begrudge anybody what they have or what they don’t have.

That’s not true.

I begrudge people who don’t have tolerance.

Snowflakes have a problem with that. Yeah, we do.

That’s why we are snowflakes. Sensitive souls are we. Proud of it, too.

I’ve tried to fight my way out of this identity crisis. To no avail.

“Be a man!” I say to no one in particular.

Then I realize it doesn’t get more manly than outing myself as a snowflake. No shame here.

I cry at movies, plays, funerals, goodbyes, and barbecues.

Crying is the curse of compassion. I have tried to compose myself when the waterworks well, but empathy is a mocking mistress.

Why can’t I just care less? For one second.

Why can’t I learn to resent the homeless instead of rewarding them with spare bills?

Why can’t I play the aggrieved rather than grieve for strangers?

Why can’t more people call me a snowflake? It makes me tingle all over with crystalline gratitude.

I know “snowflake” can be delivered as a missile aimed to insult. That’s cool. So are snowflakes. We be cool. We chill.

At the risk of disappointing insulters, it’s not an insult if the intended insultee takes it as a compliment.

Same thing goes for political correctness. Like a human snowflake, it is immune to being discredited or demeaned.

If any kind of correctness—political or otherwise—were worthy of scorn, my crazy snowflake logic tells me, then the inverse also would have to be true—being incorrect would be worthy of adulation. (“Hey, everybody, let’s have a nice round of applause for 2+2=5!”)

If correctness is incorrect, it upends the order of our universe. Does that mean illogical is better than logical? Illiterate is better than literate? Ill is better than well? Angry is better than happy? Nasty is better than nice? Selfish is better than generous? Malevolent is better than benevolent? Careless is better than careful? Hate is better than love?

Uh-oh. I think I’m about to have a meltdown. No. I refuse to. I am in the summer of my content. I guess that makes me a snowflake for all seasons.

Bruce “The Blog” Apar promotes local businesses, organizations, events and people through public relations agency APAR PR. He also is an actor, a community volunteer, and a contributor to several periodicals. Follow him as Bruce The Blog on social media. Reach him at bruce@aparpr.co or 914.275.6887.