When I first became a New Jersey divorce attorney, I expected to come across people splitting up their marriages for all different reasons. After all, I knew that money problems represent a common source of marital discord – as does infidelity. One thing is certain. I didn’t anticipate political differences to cause a spike in divorce applications.
Once upon a time, people limited their conversations when it came to politics, sex, and religion. The concept may work for the outside world – but not at home. Today’s political climate, coupled with social media, has added tension to relationships with friends and family. Any visions of fairy tale intimacy may be negatively impacted by what comes down to partisan divides.
Take the pandemic, for example. Some suggest that passion should remain in the bedroom. However, a research fellow for The Kinsey Institute concluded that “Democrats and Republicans have responded to the pandemic quite differently.” Apparently, a public health issue turned political elicits different responses in the sex lives of American couples.
A divorce complaint based on irreconcilable differences represents the ultimate “no-fault” divorce in New Jersey. I listen to my clients when they come in to discuss why they think their marriage should end. I encourage them to decide whether counseling could help them come to a mutual understanding or compromise.
Marital mayhem related to politically mixed marriages comes in all forms. I recently consulted with a wife who thought her hubby was cheating on her because he had a hidden email address and online identity. When she broke into his account, she discovered he really didn’t share her conservative views. It turns out there were no secret trysts with another woman. The husband was a fervent activist and involved in protest demonstrations to defund the police.
The impact of politics on marriages has national significance. Remember Anthony Scaramucci, the short-term White House Communications Director? Several media outlets reported his wife filed for divorce when he became part of the Trump Administration. The two reconciled and ultimately launched a weekly podcast called “Mooch and the Mrs.” to discuss marriage survival despite political differences.
New Jersey native Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President and her husband, both initially supported President Trump. Back in 2017, George Conway began his anti-Trump campaign on Twitter. George co-founded the Lincoln Project, a group of Republicans, dead set against the president’s reelection. Despite the less than private showing of political differences, no word that the Conways are headed for divorce.
Older couples are reconsidering their marriage vows as a result of political discord. Gone are the days when women followed their husband’s instructions in casting their votes. They’re speaking out in support of what they believe is right or wrong. In some cases, it becomes too much to take.
Occasional verbal sparring happens in most marriages. It’s seldom that couples feel the same way on every issue. Relentless attacks often turn into vicious name-calling and a feeling of helplessness. In-laws have become out-laws. People feel robbed of the lives they planned on.
Yes, politics can become a matter of irreconcilable differences. If you feel that you can no longer live with the person you thought you couldn’t live without, you may need the help of an experienced family law attorney.
You might be surprised that as a divorce lawyer, I’m all for a “happily ever after.” In some cases, that means moving on to new beginnings. The legal process can get contentious at the end of any marriage. I employ a commonsense approach to guiding my clients to a suitable outcome.
I do not charge for the first hour of my consultation with clients seeking family law advice. Please feel free to call me or email me to set up an appointment.