Guest Column

A Story of Addiction, Part 2

4ec8050981fcdcfa9fdb_b.JPG
Her high heels... Credits: TAPinto Montville staff
4ec8050981fcdcfa9fdb_b.JPG

TAPinto Montville recently received this story from a former addict who lives in town. She hopes that by reading this difficult story, someone might seek help. She is writing under a pen name, but her story is true. In part 2, M Gard talks about how she started on the road to overcoming her addiction. After years of illness and a doctor who prescribed daily IV drips of pain medication, M found herself severely addicted to not only the medication but the escape it provided.

She walked into my life at just the right time…

And there she was, standing in her high heels, designer dress and white coat - and don’t forget the gorgeous shiny red Chanel bag. She was a hospitalist and saw several patients daily. A hospitalist is responsible for admitting and rounding on patients in their service daily. She heard about what had happened to me and my battle with addiction. I was a complete stranger, just another patient. She has no responsibility to me. She didn’t need to spend more than five minutes with me. I was just another name and room number for her to see on her long list of patients and responsibilities on a given day. I had no desire to talk to her. I had no desire to do anything. I had no desire to stay clean, admit my wrongdoings and take responsibility. I had no desire to be upfront and ask for help with my addiction. I had no desire to let her or any doctor into my life and know the severity of my addiction.

Sign Up for E-News

At first I don’t believe I was even that responsive to her. At first I didn’t like her because she wouldn’t order me unlimited IV pain medicine. I needed to feel the rush that comes along with high of IV pain medicine.

She started to wean me off the IV pain medicine the correct way. At first I felt like she wanted me clean more than I wanted it or understood what was involved in achieving it.

After I decided I wanted to be clean, I accepted her help and was making progress.

When I wouldn’t listen or when she thought I might slip backwards, she was my prison warden. She was a great, effective prison warden - she kept me in line. She saw all my wonderful qualities that I was hiding. All the qualities that made me, me but that I just didn’t care about anymore. All those qualities became secondary since I became an addict. She encouraged me to be me and show all those qualities. According to her, I was so much more, and I was worthy of her help. I felt I was worthy of absolutely nothing. The more she heard what happened to me, I believe the more she wanted to help me.

One day she said to me, “I never, ever see you smile.” My response was, “For what? Look at what has happened to me.” Then I made a rule for when she came to visit me: no smiling, but we could laugh.

She came to see me basically every day, and she was so passionate about helping me. She sat and talked to me every day of a three-month hospital stay. Over time, I started to look forward to her visits and enjoy her company. On her days off she would still make time for me and call me. At this point, we had broken both rules, and we could smile and laugh together.

She helped me without labeling me a drug addict and without any stigma or labels. She helped me solely from her humongous heart. Every day, I told her she was my hero. She saved my life. Her response was, “You are my hero because YOU had the courage to stop a horrible thing, turn everything around and move forward.”

She gave me the first push I needed to do an incredible thing. Each and every day I have her support, my husband’s, children’s , family’s and inlaws’, some friends’. Each and every day, when I wake up, I thank her - for her time and for understanding me. I thank her for not being a selfish person. She was completely committed to having me overcome addiction. When I would say, “this is just so hard, I can’t do this,” she would push me along and yell at me to keep me motivated to move forward.

Do you believe that good comes from bad?

I just want the world to know how much of an amazing doctor she is. I want the world to know how much she has helped me and taught me to help myself. I want the world to know that without her, the ending to my story would have been different. I want the world to know that no other doctor in this world is like her. I want the world to know how good she has been to me, and continues to be.

After this nightmare of an experience, I believe only pain management doctors or addiction specialist doctors should be allowed to order pain medicine. All doctors should stick to her sub specialty and not order medications outside their scope.

My message to other addicts…

To anyone out there battling any type of addiction either intentionally or unintentionally caused-

To all addicts out there on your own journey-

To the addicts still suffering. I want you to get help before it’s too late.

To the addict I have never met, I want you to know it’s ok to admit you’re an addict.

To the addict I have never met. I have walked a long, lonely, troublesome walk in your shoes. I ask that you take “those” shoes off and throw them away. I want to give you hope. I want today to be different for you. I want today to be the end of your addiction and the start of the “new” and improved you. I want to buy you a new pair of shoes. I want to give you a “clean” start

I need you to understand the first step is the hardest step and the biggest step

I want to turn your dark days into bright beautiful productive days

I want you to believe in yourself. You can do this!!!

I want you to return to being an asset to society and your loved ones.

I want you to shoot for the stars. I want to you achieve your goals with flying colors. I want you to be your own success story. You can do this!

I want to hear all about your success. I want to be happy for all your clean days you have behind you. I want you to never, ever under any circumstances look backwards.

I want you to know, despite any bad feelings or cravings, you need to ignore them and keep moving forward. This journey only goes forward. There is no time to slip backwards. Everyone is different and it is okay to take suboxen or methadone as long as you stay clean.

You are not alone. I know it’s scary thinking about not getting high. Being successful is a must - not a option.

Please understand there is a big difference between wanting recovery and needing it.

Addiction will always be your dirty little secret. A vicious cycle you can break and you can defeat. I want you to beat up addiction and be the winner. I want you to never, ever look backwards.

I want to see you cross that finish line, putting your addiction behind you once and for all.

I want you to understand you have a disease, and with the correct treatment, you can overcome this. Just like people overcome and beat cancer, you can beat addiction.

To the addict I have never met. I want you to repeat after me: I am an addict. I am a good person and I deserve to beat this. I only want better for myself.

I want you to know it’s okay to ask for help. Everyone battling addiction needs and deserves help.

It’s time for a change. Break that cycle. I want you to be able to believe in your own strength. I want you to believe in miracles.

If you or someone you love needs help with addiction, please call CARES, the Center for Addiction Recovery Education & Success at 973-625-1143. Or go to http://morris.caresnj.org/ .

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer. Click here to submit a Guest Column.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

Montville

Upcoming Events

Carousel_image_e6ca8b7a8b0c857ed434_carousel_image_6dda36885bfa31f870e0_maple_sugaring_courtesy_of_morris_county_park_commission

Tue, February 20, 4:00 PM

Pyramid Mountain, Montville Township

Maple Sugaring on the Mountain

Education Food & Drink

Carousel_image_070754a6426523acdfef_muni_bldg_spring_8

Thu, February 22, 7:30 PM

Montville Township Municipal Building , Montville

Planning Board Meeting

Government

Carousel_image_58531486fec26251af37_img_0308

Fri, February 23, 1:00 PM

Montville Senior Center, Montville

Walter Choroszewski's "Presidential Scandals of ...

Arts & Entertainment

Towaco Civic Association Scholarship Applications Available

February 16, 2018

MONTVILLE, NJ – Calling all high school seniors living in Montville Township! It's time to apply for the annual Towaco Civic Association scholarship award. The winning applicant will be selected based on their community service record.

Applications are available at Montville Township High School, or email alan.guenzel@wfafinet.com for information.

The deadline to apply is March ...

Boy Scout Michael Manetta Achieves Eagle Scout Ranking

February 11, 2018

MONTVILLE, NJ – Members of Boy Scout Troop 74 gathered on Jan. 14 as Scout Michael Manetta was awarded the rank of Eagle Scout at his Court of Honor.

Officials such as members of the Montville Township Committee, the Montville Township Board of Education, former post commander Frank Warholic of VFW Post 5481, Dee Cook, who is treasurer of the Dog Park Advisory Committee and Fishawack ...

SHREK THE MUSICAL Comes to Montville Township High School

February 19, 2018

MONTVILLE, NJ- SHREK THE MUSICAL is the spring production for the Montville Township High School Drama Club. The performers will stage the Tony Award-winning musical Thursday through Sunday, March 1 through 4 at MTHS. SHREK THE MUSICAL is based on the 2001 Dreamworks movie. Tickets to this fun family production are only $15 for adults and $12 for students and senior ...

Morris County Prosecutor Appointed to New Jersey Criminal Sentencing and Disposition Commission

February 15, 2018

MORRISTOWN, NJ - On the morning of Sunday, Feb. 11 2018, Governor Phil Murphy held a press conference at the Messiah Baptist Church in East Orange to announce that he was going to reconvene the New Jersey Criminal Justice Sentencing and Disposition Commission. Morris County Prosecutor Fredric Knapp and MCPO Detective Patrick LaGuerre, formerly a member of the East Orange Police ...

Nutley Closes School Due to Security Threat

February 16, 2018

NUTLEY, NJ - The Nutley Police Department and the Essex County Bomb Unit have finished investigating a security concern.  As a precaution, the school was canceled on Friday after a video was posted to Instagram that suggested a possible threat to schools. Dr. Julie Glazer, Nutley Superintendent of Schools, made the decision late Thursday night to close ...

SRF Has Breedings for Sale

February 19, 2018

MILLSTONE TOWNSHIP, N.J.— The Standardbred Retirement Foundation has many breedings for sale as of Feb. 13 and anticipates others to become available throughout the season. To access the list, or to donate a breeding and receive a tax deduction for your gift, contact Tammy at 732 446-4422, or via email at SRFHorsesandKids@gmail.com.

The list of current available breedings can be ...

Columns

How to Talk with Kids About the Florida Shooting

February 15, 2018

The tragedy of the Florida school shooting is devastating, leaving 17 killed and 15 injured. Our children can easily identify with what occurred. It will be the topic of conversation today in schools everywhere. School administrators are doing all they can to provide support and guidance. The shootings affect children, teachers, and school personnel. The school shooting can have an ...

Ask the Care Advocate

Dear Heidi,

My mom lives home alone and a few days ago she fell while reaching for something

in her hallway closet. She was able to push her emergency alert button and they

called me. I live nearby so I went to check on her and she had pain in her leg and hip

area. We got her to the hospital and it turns out that she broke her hip. She had

surgery to repair it and now we are faced ...

Ask the Care Advocate Your Elder Care Questions Today

MONTVILLE, NJ - TAPinto Montville and LMR Elder Care have announced a new monthly advice column: Ask the Care Advocate.  Heidi Schnapp, Co-founder of LMR Elder Care, utilizes her knowledge and expertise in answering your questions concerning:

Helping aging parents and their ...

Another Luxury Listing in the Pond Section of Montville Presented by Century 21 The Crossing

MONTVILLE, NJ - Century 21 the Crossing and Jason Failla do it again!  Another luxury listing in the Pond section of Montville.

"This new listing has had over 13,000 views in less then a week," Century 21 The Crossing's Jason Failla said. "Anyone can list your home, it takes a comprehensive marketing strategy to sell it!"

"Luxury is in each ...

Century 21 Open Houses

MONTVILLE, NJ - Century 21 presents the following open houses:

Saturday, Jan. 27 from 1 - 4 p.m.

Brownstones at Fairfield, Stonybrook Circle (Using GPS - Enter 66 Two Bridges Road)

Sunday, Jan. 28 from 1 - 4 p.m.

Brownstones at Fairfield, Stonybrook Circle (Using GPS - Enter 66 Two Bridges Road)
8 Summit Drive, Bld #10, North Caldwell
12 ...

AtlantiCast

AtlantiCast Medical Minute: Atlantic Orthopedic Institute’s Scoliosis and Spinal Deformity Center

On this episode of the AtlantiCast Medical Minute, we’ll take you inside the Atlantic Orthopedic Institute’s Scoliosis and Spinal Deformity Center, with the center’s director, Jason Lowenstein, MD.

Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M7euCp86-c

AtlantiCast Episode 011

Breaking Atlantic Health System news on this week’s AtlantiCast! Plus, find out why Morristown Medical Center is one of the best hospitals in the nation when it comes to recovering from joint surgery, see the newest center for fighting brain cancer and an Atlantic Health System red-carpet premiere!

 

The Best Way to Pay Your Child a Compliment

“Of course you’re good-looking.”  “You’re the best friend ever.”  “Who wouldn’t want you on their team?”  Is there a parent out there (including me) who hasn’t praised a child in order to make him or her feel better?  Sometimes it’s true, and sometimes we say it because we just can’t stand to see them ...

'What Stays' exposes family secrets and lies

‘What Stays’ exposes family secrets, resentment and lies

By Liz Keill

SUMMIT, NJ – In an original play by Laura Ekstrand and Jason Szamreta, the Dreamcatcher Repertory Theatre has provided an enlightening, funny and heart-felt view of family foibles.

Ekstrand has said that the germ of the play came from conversations with the ensemble members of the troupe, based on ...

Pet Corner