I will be glad when all this QAnon conspiracy nonsense is behind us and we can finally return to the more relevant and pressing plots that obsess us. Like UFOs and visitors from other planets.
In what to me is a welcome return to normalcy, there has been a nostalgic resurgence in unidentified flying objects and distant intelligent life lately that is both refreshing and awe inspiring.
For starters, a book recently published by a respected scientist who does science, suggests that a rather large asteroid first observed in 2017 is really an alien aircraft. The large cigar-shaped rock, which is maneuvering erratically through space in defiance of all rational and physical explanation, is named Oumuamua (pronounced Oumuamua) which is Hawaiian for “surrender earthlings.” The author, a noted astrophysicist, raises the exciting possibility that the asteroid could be a giant light sail piloted by beings with far greater intelligence than our own.
This is not as far fetched as it sounds. I for one certainly don’t have the intelligence to sail a rock in outer space. I get lost driving a car in New Jersey.
Or how about this. Just a couple of days ago a commercial pilot flying over New Mexico radioed that a long cylindrical object moving at unprecedented speed raced over the top of his American Airlines passenger jet bound for Phoenix. The pilot, thinking it might be a cruise missile from the nearby White Sands Range, wanted to know from ground control if there was a target in the area. Hopefully a target other than the plane he was flying.
Given the unsatisfactory explanation that it was Sunday and cruise missiles have the day off, this was quickly chalked up as an Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon, politically correct speak for UFO.
Last year the Pentagon, whose job it is to make us believe in aliens by denying their existence, released three unclassified cockpit videos in which Navy pilots encountered inexplicable objects flying in the sky. The objects moved in flight paths and speeds not achievable by any known propulsion technology. One pilot described a silver object the size of a suitcase. Another described a forty-foot long white “tic tac” disobeying the law of physics.
Apparently flying saucers are out of vogue. Now they are more like titanium tins of tuna.
But back in 1947, after a flying disk crash landed in a field near Roswell, New Mexico and the government explained it away as a deflated weather balloon, Americans couldn’t get enough of little wrinkled spacemen with big heads and oval eyeballs flying to the earth in their saucers to abduct humans.
Which apparently they did in great numbers for many years, spitting back the reality-challenged and devouring the rest for Twilight Zone episodes.
I know something about this because in February, 2000 I was abducted by aliens. They were small and wrinkled with eye slits and bulbous heads. And they altered my life forever.
Today my twins are fully integrated adult humans who just this month are able to buy beer with a legal ID.
But that doesn’t mean aliens aren’t poised to visit us again at any time.
In a scare just a few days ago, a large cylindrical barbecue pit crash landed in the front yard of a suburban home outside Denver, Colorado.
The circular metal ring was cataloged as a jet engine part which mysteriously dropped from a passing plane enroute to Hawaii. The alien ship instantly went from an Unidentified Flying Object to an Identified Falling Object. The same went for the accompanying squadron of lug nuts which sliced through the roof of a neighbor’s house.
Oh sure, there are lots of strange things that fall from the sky. If you are standing under a tree during a cold snap in Florida you could be struck from above by falling iguanas. Or if you live in Honduras you could be pelted with fresh fish during a rainstorm. Or if you are a dinosaur witnessing an unnatural fireball streaking across the sky, you could be extinct right now.
Things that fall to the earth, as strange as they may be, are usually identifiable. It is the unidentifiable objects that give rise to visiting alien conspiracies. It is the sighting of things we can't comprehend. The behavior of things we don’t understand. And the desperate need for an answer that compels us to connect the dots in whatever way is possible.
Like the day when a gangly white space ship with articulated arms and dozens of foil eyeballs sears through the atmosphere decelerating to the surface in a blaze of fire. It sits silently for a while on six legs, then blinks and whirs to life, initiating its cold, robotic search for anything that resembles life.
Surrender Martians. The Earthlings have landed.