You don’t want to raise a child who is emotionally codependent because this can manifest in many ways. Some codependent kids never move out, some choose very poor relationships, and others even end up addicted which is very sad.
To avoid raising codependent children, follow this advice.
Expect Something from Your Kids
Remember you’re raising adults, not children. This is hard for many parents but at each age except them to do things that are appropriate such as cleaning their room, helping clear the table, picking up their toys, and so forth. The more you train them on how to take care of their basic needs themselves, the less likely they are to be very codependent and expect others to do things for them.
Show Your Feelings and Let Them Have Feelings
Many codependent people can’t identify their own feelings, because they've lived with people who didn’t let them have them. Many men can become codependent because they weren’t allowed to be emotional, growing up with a toxic masculinity-focused parent. Not only should you show normal feelings, you should also show them that it’s okay to have feelings. Be supportive when they’re angry, sad, embarrassed, and so forth.
Identify Problems in the Family
If you know that your family is dysfunctional, get help now. Go to family counseling so that you can eliminate these problems. Most codependent adults were raised in dysfunctional families, either with abusive parents, addicted parents, or mentally ill parents. You can’t change what has happened, but you can work on how things are dealt with in the future.
Rid the Household of Abuse
If you have a situation where you’re living with an abusive or narcissistic person and your child is having to deal with that, the best way to keep your child from becoming codependent is to eliminate that person from their lives if they won’t get help. Let the child know that the problems the adults in their lives have aren’t their fault or responsibility, and that they can only control themselves.
Raising healthy children is a process that involves giving children a safe home, teaching them age-appropriate responsibility, and allowing them to express themselves as who they are with all the feelings that go with it, in a safe environment. Dr. Phil said it best, "The home is supposed to be a safe place to fall."
If you want to know the right way to end a codependent relationship, don’t miss the next article.