ON THE AIR - If you like to shout at people, mock their opinions and hang up on them, you may be qualified for New Jersey governor. Or, you could get a gig on WFAN sports radio, which may be the next step for Gov. Chris Christie, who could be on the short list to replace afternoon host Mike Francesca when he retires, conveniently, in December. Or, if that doesn't pan out, Christie could always be the Secretary of the U.S. Department of Labor, apparently the latest Trump job that's been dangled. 

BRANCHBURG - Say what you want about Rep. Leonard Lance's stance on ObamaCare and other GOP agenda items, but at least he was willing to walk into a buzzsaw last night at Raritan Valley Community College, facing a pissed-off crowd eager to find a Republican to yell at. Other members of Congress have been quiet as church mice, while the headline of today's Star-Ledger blares "Angry Crowd Jeers Lance at Town Hall." Again, at least Lance showed up, brutalized by hundreds for wanting to strip funding for Planned Parenthood and for not joining in demands to see Trump's tax returns.  

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BARNEGAT LIGHT - Want a shore house "That's Mmm Mmm Good?" Billionaire heiress to the Campbell Soup fortune, Mary Alice Dorrance Malone, hopes to unload her 4-bedroom, 3-bath oceanfront home here for a cool $2.295 million. Malone - whose chemist grandfather invented condensed soup in 1897 - is considered Philadelphia's richest person with her $3.9 billion fortune. NJ.com says Malone dropped her sale price by $300,000 since last summer, but it sounds like buyers may still have plenty of wiggle room. Maybe she can throw in a case of chicken noodle.

ATLANTIC CITY - When the next Miss America is crowned - and the world is shaken by such unbelievably interesting news - don't expect thousands of balloons to be released in the air as part of the intergalactic celebration. That's because the Atlantic City council says no more balloons can be released, as marine life has been eating them and dying. Atlantic City now follows similar ordinances from surrounding towns, leaving pageant attendees to merely applaud when the winner is announced at the climax of this "drama."  

NEWARK - If you are wondering why your new smartphone is made of cardboard and Elmer's glue, now you have someone to blame: Three guys have admitted in federal court to smuggling in 40,000 counterfeit electronics from China, including iPhones and iPads, between 2009 and 2014. If the items were real, they would have been worth $15 million. The fake ones, though, are worth around 60 cents. 


ON THE AIR - Hey, did he just flip the bird to 'Jeopardy!' viewers? Screen grabs of contestant Viraj Mehta went viral on social media Tuesday after the Stanford math major appeared to give the Jersey salute on camera for six seconds. While Mehta answered a funny question from host Alex Trebek about how to fold and eat pizza, he demonstrated with his left hand giving the middle-finger gesture in the process, the Huffington Post reports. Mehta says "it's super cool to be temporarily famous" and "a lot of fun to have made a rude hand gesture on national TV," but swears he really didn't mean to do it.


It was this day in 1983 that the subpar New Jersey Generals landed Herschel Walker to play in the subpar USFL. (3 years for $5 million)  


Distaff - [DISS-taff] - adjective 

Definition: Related through a mother  

Example: I get my guilt from the distaff side.