AT HOME - If you are at home this Monday morning, mulling a second bowl of Cap'n Crunch and gearing up for the Family Ties marathon, let's assume you are unemployed. But, fear not, NJ101.5 is out with the top fastest-growing jobs in New Jersey. Eight, of the top 10, are in health care, with a desperate need for home health aides, the top job, with the worst average salary, about $23,000. If health care is not your thing, the second fastest-growing job is "Operations Research Analyst," with an impressive salary of $101,490 and 36 percent growth this year. The only obstacle to securing the work is figuring out, exactly, what is an Operations Research Analyst.  

ON THE ROAD - If you rely on the Delaware River Turnpike Bridge, well, you are completely screwed. Authorities are suggesting you actually work from home, rather than attempt to travel from Burlington County to Bucks County, Pa. That's after a NJ Turnpike official discovered a crack below the riding surface while checking out an ongoing painting project. Authorities now say there will be "extreme" delays for commuters, as engineers try to get a definitive grip on how badly this span is messed up.  

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ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - After a somewhat somber Presidential campaign season, its fun to see what can happen with Joe Piscopo considering a run for governor. Here's yet another completely inexperienced entertainer talking about issues that have vexed the experts for years. NJ.com reports Piscopo wants to reform the state's pension mess by ending state income taxes for public school teachers, state troopers, municipal cops and firefighters in exchange for coughing up more for their health benefits. He's also talking about privatizing the New Jersey Turnpike and the Garden State Parkway, perhaps leasing them to Fortune 500 companies, like Johnson & Johnson, who can apparently run them. And he wants casinos in North Jersey. No opinion here, other than good to see the debate finally focus on New Jersey's problems.

EVESHAM - Local kids are getting one heckuva civics lesson, with the school district's personnel director suing Mayor Randy Brown, after the mayor revealed allegations of sexual harassment against the personnel director, the Courier Post reports. Ugh. The school employee claims the mayor sought revenge against school Superintendent John Scavelli for hiring an African-American to a school position rather than hiring the mayor's son. According to the lawsuit, the mayor told the superintendent, "I can't believe you hired that n-----." No idea if this is true, or an alternative fact.  

NEWARK - If you happen to work in the city, perhaps in the vicinity of Halsey Street, today is a big deal. After a few years of work, and some pretty cool historical restoration, the Hahne & Co. building will reopen, after sitting vacant for 30 years. The ceremonial ribbon will be cut at 3 p.m. on the $174 million project, featuring mixed-income housing, the city's first Whole Foods grocery, a cultural arts center for Rutgers University and many, many other things over 100,000 square feet, NewarkInc.com reports. 

NEWARK - A schoolyard fight has broken out between Newark Public Schools Superintendent Christopher Cerf and Newark Teachers Union President John Abeigon over stalled contract negotiations. NewarkInc.com obtained a letter from Cerf that calls out the union boss for consistently lying, viciously attacking people with slanderous claims and refusing to negotiate a contract for his members. Cerf also accused Abeigon, who is facing reelection in April, of grandstanding to earn street cred within the union rank and file. What a wonderful example to set for the children.


INDIANAPOLIS - Another lead that writes itself: A trucker lost his marbles, when he lost a truckload of 38,000 pounds of marbles Saturday, WXIN-TV reports. The trailer separated from the truck on Interstate 465, spreading marbles all over the shoulder and median. Traffic was snarled all day Saturday, as emergency responders spent the day picking up marbles, without losing them.


It was this day in 1993 that New York Newsday reported that Oregon Sen. Bob Packwood sexually harassed 23 women. In other, completely unrelated news, the Trump Administration still has many, many unfilled positions. 


Xylography [zye-LAH-gruh-fee] - noun 

Definition: The art of making engravings on wood especially for printing 

Example: Because of all the jobs that President Trump is going to bring back to America, I will be polishing up on my xylography.