Jaffe Morning Briefing - October 27, 2016

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OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - On a national scope, there is no one considered more loyal to Donald Trump than our very own Gov. Chris Christie. But NJ.com is pleased to note an interesting little fact: the governor has yet to donate any money to Trump's 2016 campaign, according to federal filings through Oct. 1. In the past, the governor has donated the max to GOP candidates like George W. Bush and Mitt Romney. Perhaps Christie is waiting until Nov. 7 to make a really huge splash, perhaps with bags of cash from all the uber-wealthy Bridgegate lawyers. No comment from Christie's office about the big plans. 

ON THE BRIDGE - Hey, we all know what happens when you intentionally shut down the GWB to make a political statement. But that didn't deter 10 protesters from laying down on the bridge during yesterday morning's rush hour. The stunt - with an unclear message - closed the eastbound upper level of the busiest bridge in the nation for about 15 minutes.  

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MARLBORO - From our "so-fast-your-head-will-spin" file comes Mayor Jon Hornik. He's ready, willing and oh-so-eager to replace 30-year state Senate veteran Joe Kyrillos. Honik's pitch came less than 24 hours after the popular Republican announced he wouldn't seek reelection in 2017. Hornik - mayor of the largest Democratic stronghold in mostly Republican Monmouth County - tells Politickernj he regrets Kyrillos' departure (translation: Don't let the Statehouse door hit you in the butt), adding Kyrillos' replacement "should be an outsider ... because we're in desperate need of change down in Trenton." And, well, running Marlboro is certainly a job outside Trenton.

BELLEVILLE - The home hair stylist who famously used pepper spray on a client who wasn't pleased with her haircut is now officially charged with aggravated assault and use of a weapon. This is the viral story of the 35-year-old Bloomfield woman who advertised on Craigslist and travelled from home to home, selling haircuts. On Oct. 13, she began arguing with her customer, with authorities claiming she sprayed her customer in the face and fled the apartment. Bloomfield cops nabbed her Monday. Silver lining: she has a good trade to barter in prison.  

BAYONNE - It's a whopping windfall for Mayor Jimmy Davis. Nearly three years after he retired as city police captain to become mayor, Davis is finally getting a $169,000 payout for 1,657 hours of unused sick and vacation time he amassed during 28 years in uniform. This, the Jersey Journal says, is on top of his $72,000 salary and his $120,000 annual pension. This taxpayer-funded bounty comes now because the state, in its mixed-up logic, hadn't actually considered Davis "retired" until last December. So, now he gets a payout of $101.98 per hour for those accrued hours. Davis admits there's been a "big hullabaloo" over the perk, but he says: "Everybody takes advantage of it ... you don't see anybody who says 'No, I don't want benefits.'" 

In completely unrelated news to the outrageous cost of local government, you can now buy a small, two-bedroom ranch on West 1st Street in Bayonne. Property taxes "only" $11,220. Buy it here

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS 

ON A TRAY - As we are in deer-hunting season, expect a ton of meat to be flooding the market. And don't think Arby's hasn't taken notice of this readily-available cheap product in major hunting areas. And so it is now offering the "venison sandwich" in six states, marketing thick-cut deer flesh with crispy onions on a fresh roll. Arby acknowledges this could be "probably the biggest stretch for us yet" but vows it is "incredibly delicious." (Hey, consider the combo!) Head over to Pennsylvania to give it a try, and please ignore any wayward fur.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

You can easily find costumes called "Daddy's Little Monster" and "Road Fury Babe." But for god's sake, don't market costumes called "Fat Girl." That was the harsh message customers told Wal-Mart, which apologized on this day in 2014 via Twitter for labeling plus-sized costumes as "Fat Girl." Those costumers were renamed. Hmm. Perhaps it's now the "McShake Collection." 

WORD OF THE DAY 

Disenfranchised [disənˈfran(t)SHīz/] - adjective 

Definition: marginalized; deprived of power 

Example: Expect to hear precious little about disenfranchised Evan McMullin supporters. (Feel free to Google who the heck that is.) 

WEATHER IN A WORD 

Soaker

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