OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
STATEWIDE - So, it's 10 years after the beginning of the "Great Recession," and how you doin'? A new Rutgers report says the state lost about 100,000 good-paying jobs, which have since been replaced with about 150,000 crappy-paying jobs. That's because of a structural change, where there is less need for our sprawling suburban office parks and this new economy does not particularly require living in super expensive New Jersey. Some good news: All those Millennials now living in trendy enclaves of Brooklyn or Philly are starting to have kids, and may soon be tepidly interested in our endless supply of 1960s split-levels. Luckily, New Jersey also has about 200 rail stations - all affording opportunities to create walkable, lively communities with businesses that remind these stunned new homeowners of that hip coffeehouse in Bed-Stuy.
JERSEY CITY - It's the drink a local man will not soon forget. Police are investigating an, uh, altercation between the victim and a 47-year-old Jersey City woman. The pair was having a lovely drink in the bedroom of a Hague Street home on Saturday when an argument ensued. She then attacked him, the Jersey Journal reports, scratching up his arms, chest, stomach and face. And then she got nasty: "degloving" his scrotum. And what the hell is that? It is an injury in which an extensive section of skin is completely torn off, severing the blood supply, Wikipedia says. The analogy: like removing a glove. Oh, my. The woman is facing aggravated "assault on testicle" charges.
STATEWIDE - Stressed out? Besides reading about degloved scrotums, you probably have plenty on your mind. And you are no different than 1.5 million New Jerseyans who admit they "have a great deal of stress in their lives," TAPInto New Brunswick reports. The Rutgers Center for State Health Policy says another 44 percent of residents admit to "some stress." The top issue? Not enough money to pay bills. New Jerseyans are also stressed about lack of time to get stuff done, stress over jobs and the health of themselves or loved ones. Luckily, to help, you can read this newsletter every morning. You're welcome.
OLD BRIDGE - Another day, another bid for Amazon's coveted HQ2.New Jersey's 21st-most-populated town joins 238 other applications nationwide vying for the online titan's newest warehouse, positioning itself as a commuter's paradise. It's true, after all, that Old Bridge has the land, the Route 9 corridor, and the mass transit infrastructure to claim it can accommodate everyone's favorite multinational e-commerce company. But can it prevail over Newark, the state's endorsed bidder? Or the 236 other great ideas? Old Bridge needs to dangle a huge, unprecedented carrot; we suggest free summer passes to Raritan Bay Beach.
AT HOME - The home of your dreams could actually be a nightmare. News has hit New Jersey that a major lumber supplier distributed floor joists coated with a resin that emits - wait for it - formaldehyde! NJ.com reports that of the 2,500 homes built with the bad joists nationwide, more than 300 were built in the Garden State. Bottom line, if you smell nail polish in your new, fancy great room, chances are you are smelling a class-action suit.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
NEW YORK CITY - The days of the MetroCard are numbered, with the city's transit system announcing an upgrade to its quarter-century-old pay technology by 2023. Transit users already have their heads in their phones, so why distract them with these annoying yellow cards that have to be bought, kept and regularly swiped? Apple Pay, and other high-tech smartphone gadgetry, will drive the NYC subway system even father from the era of the token - which now make for lovely cufflinks.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1970 that "Doonesbury" - perhaps the best satirical comic strip ever written for bleeding liberals - was launched in 28 newspapers.
WORD OF THE DAY
Sawbones - [SAW-bohnz] - noun
Definition: A surgeon or physician
Example: My mom could not decide if I was going to be a lawyer or a sawbones.
WEATHER IN A WORD