HILLSBOROUGH - Call him "Super Suburb Man," as he sprints from one residential bush to another, wearing only a mask and cape. Count on him to protect the hedges, the evergreens and the hydrangea from uh, whatever. While it is obviously clear that Super Suburb Man plays a tremendous public role, cops still want to talk with him, as he was spotted Tuesday morning performing his duties at South Triangle Road. A resident posted on Facebook that she saw this naked superhero lurking in the bushes near her house, before taking off on his super bike, likely toward his super lair. "All I could see was white legs and a white butt as he tried to get away," she posted on Facebook. Hillsborough cops are now patrolling the area for Super Suburb Man, obviously to thank him for his service.

ON THE RAILS - Here's hoping that you are far, far away, enjoying the fact that you don't have to jump on an NJ Transit train for the morning slog to work. But, hey, if this happens to be a regular work day for you, well, sorry. NJ Transit is in its second day of cancelling trains all willy-nilly. Eleven commuter trains were cancelled yesterday morning; eight more for the afternoon rush. It seems workers are testing some equipment, and there are more crew absences than usual, NJ Transit says. Very lame reasons. This morning, commuters got the lovely surprise of cancellations on the Montclair-Boonton and the Pascack Valley Lines, according to Twitter, with no further explanations.  Commuters, apparently, are now on a strict, need-to-know basis.

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 NEW BRUNSWICK - Are New Jersey's suburbs becoming super chic?  OK, Likely not. But a new Rutgers report shows that people are not only flocking to fun urban places like Hoboken or Jersey City. People are venturing, once again, out to far-off, leafy parts of the state, in search of a glorious half-acre of required lawn care and a neighbor who would be willing to lend his snow blower. The report, detailed in TAPInto New Brunswick, shows a 62 percent increase in the "suburban ring" in 2016-17, while the super-trendy "regional core" of hip towns only increased by 38 percent. Seems a little premature to declare a trend, but this is certainly positive news for the guy desperate to sell his McMansion, including his collection of weed wackers.

ELSEWHERE - Where is the governor? That has been a big, nagging question of Politico over the past couple of days, clearly peeved that Phil Murphy did not share his vacation plans with the Statehouse press. With NJ 101.5 posting a photo of Murphy boarding a plane for Italy yesterday, the governor's office finally admitted that, yes, he is enjoying some time at his lavish, 23-room mansion in Italy, returning Aug. 8. This is the estate detailed in yesterday's Star-Ledger, including the astonishing price tag of $7 million. The lesson for the rookie governor: If you don't tell the media where you are going, it creates a news event. If you do, there is nothing for them to write. Your choice, governor.

BAYONNE - The privilege of serving on the Board of Education includes countless volunteer hours, with the audience continually yelling at "you people" for such critical issues as switching skim milk vendors. But that is not deterring 20 determined souls for competing to serve on the Bayonne school board this November. With only four open seats, and plenty of jockeying, this should be the wildest school board race in years. And all are breathless to learn who will ultimately become the next milk vendor.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

GRASS LAKE, Mich. - Kinda cute. Very weird.  That could be the best way to describe the two sets of 24-year-old identical twins who had their first date together, became engaged at the same time and are now getting married this weekend. The Jackson Citizen Patriot reports there is a lot of love between two sets of identical twins, all of whom are sharing their wedding reception Saturday night. One set of these love-crazed monozygotics met in a psychology class at Grand Valley State University and quickly introduced the other two, sparking lots of mutual, twin-based attraction, bursting with identical genomes. "We're individuals. We are all individuals," maintains one of the grooms. Sure. Sure you are.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Americans were positively peeved on this day in 1958 upon learning the cost of postage is increasing 33.3 percent, from 3 cents to 4 cents, per first-class stamp. U.S. postage officials argued the big increase is more than fair, as the last postage hike was in 1932.

WORD OF THE DAY

Risorgimento - [ree-zohr-jə-MEN-toh] - noun

Definition: A time of renewal                    

Example: I regard my personal risorgimento as a failed effort to regularly visit the gym.

WEATHER IN A WORD 

Ominous

 THE NEW 60
a Jaffe Briefing exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun