TRENTON – Even if you’re a reclusive baby boomer who does not know a vaper from a viper, you surely know there are serious health concerns with e-cigarettes. There was some tension at a roundtable on the subject hosted by NJ Spotlight on Friday. Sparks flew, as anti-vaping and pro-vaping advocates engaged. The only thing missing was a vaper blowing vape in an opponent’s face, if that’s even a thing. Nevertheless, it was a learning experience. For example, did you know that a lot of schoolkids are now inhibited from going to the restroom because those salubrious spaces have become de facto “Juul rooms,” where kids go to vape? Breathe deeply, and get up to speed, at NJ Spotlight.

ONLINE – In case you haven’t seen it, the state’s Twitter account is surprisingly funny. Even NJ 101.5 is giving it some shine, as @NJGov is being lauded for being thoroughly, unabashedly Jersey, without the need/desire/patience for Jersey politics. One tweeter posts: “I love this account. If it was hacked, just let the hackers keep it.” Another says: “Reasons I’m proud to be born + raised in Jersey: 1- @NJGov 2- everything else.” Someone posted the state’s account seems to be run by some sarcastic Jersey girl. @NJGov responds: “My name ain’t bic, but I keep the flame, man.” Join 76,300 followers at @NJGov.

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CLIFTON – Using a Hindu god's image to sell sexy thongs is sacrilegious. That’s according to an eminent Indian-American leader, who demands that a Clifton-based online retailer yank the women’s undies from its website. Rajan Zed, head of the Universal Society of Hinduism, says the novelty apparel disgraces Lord Ganesh, the Hindu god of wisdom. He tells India-based news site Babushahi.com that the elephant-headed deity is “to be worshiped in temples or home shrines … not adorn one’s crotch.” Zed also joined other devout Hindus condemning an Indianapolis online store selling “Namaste, Mother F—cker” t-shirts as yoga-wear. Perhaps these retailers should also appeal to Ganesh for wisdom.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” is a pangram: a sentence which uses every letter of the alphabet at least once. Other pangrams include:

  • "Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs."
  • "The five boxing wizards jump quickly."
  • "Watch Jeopardy - Alex Trebek's fun TV quiz game!" 

HOLMDEL – If you need yet more proof that every vote counts, just look at a two-vote upset an independent candidate for Township Committee pulled off. A court-ordered recount flipped Election Night’s results, handing that two-vote victory to independent Prakash Santhana to defeat Republican Chiung-Ying Cheng Liu by 2,087-2,085 ballots. Initially it appeared Liu had won by three votes. The recount also confirmed Santhana’s running mate Cathy Weber as top vote-getter, ousting incumbent Republican Mayor Eric Hinds by 104 votes. Come January, the GOP will no longer have a controlling 5-0 council majority, the first time in a decade. Think about this the next time you snooze through election day.

PATERSON – All you’ve gotta do to get a key to Silk City is film a big-screen movie here. Writer-director Aaron Sorkin is the latest recipient of Paterson’s top honor from Mayor Andre Sayegh, who tells the Paterson Times that Sorkin is helping “to enhance our image as a top flight film destination.” The same honor went to director Steven Spielberg for shooting his “West Side Story” remake here earlier this year. Sorkin, best known for writing “A Few Good Men” and creating “The West Wing,” is filming “The Trial of the Chicago 7” at various sites in a city, featuring an urban landscape that can easily morph into any era of the 20th century.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

HOLLYWOOD – Among the many many reasons we don’t live in California is the latest wellness trend: “perineum sunning.” Yep, it’s all based on “experts” who think the soft skin between the anus and genitals is ideal to convert sunlight into energy and Vitamin D. Yes, it is hard to visualize this treatment, but actresses are going to social media to urge fans to “spread your legs and get some sunshine,” Health.comreports. Another so-called “influencer” in California says the feeling of direct sunlight on your undercarriage is “more energizing that slamming cups of coffee.” Expect your local Starbucks to soon be paring perineum sunning with its latest brew.

TROY, TN – So much for love, peace and goodwill toward all, etc. in this community; the annual Christmas parade has been cancelled. And what silly, small-town stupidity would prompt such a thing? Some thought it would be nice to include a “Love Everybody” float. How nice – except that “everybody” also means people from the LGBT community, with float designers daring to even include a rainbow on the side, The Week reports. So, townsfolk quickly forgot the Bible’s exhortation to “Let us love one another” during this special time of year and hit social media with rants, raves and other ridiculousness. Following all this mess, town leaders decided to cancel the parade due to, er, “scheduling conflicts.” 

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Yankees fans are still shaking their heads in disgust, following the crazy trade on this day in 1966, when superstar Roger Maris is traded to the Cardinals for some guy named Charlie Smith. (The Cardinals then won 101 games, and the 1967 World Series.)

WORD OF THE DAY

Qui Vive – [KEE VEEV] – noun

Definition: alert

Example: Stay on the qui vive; there are perineum sunbathers in the area.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

― George Carlin

TODAY'S TRUMPISM

“I'll tell you, it's Big Business. If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business.”

- Donald J. Trump

WEATHER IN A WORD

Umbrella

THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun