MEDFORD - Fathers of teen-aged daughters are preparing to tar and feather a new chemistry teacher at Lenape High School, accused of rigging a camera in his briefcase so he can film up the skirts of girls. The Burlington County prosecutor tells the unbelievable story of this teacher - heck, let's identify him - 43-year-old Eric Howell, who is believed to have hid a camera in a coconut water box that he used to film the students, NJ.com reports. School officials became curious when Howell would get behind a female student and weirdly extend his arm sideways to land the perfect angle. Now the cops are going though Howell's digital storage devices. One image of a student and, well, game over, pal.

TRENTON - The Senate Budget Committee is meeting today to talk about a bunch of bills, none of which addresses a proposed law that would ban a certain baby mattress in New Jersey known to be a suffocation hazard. The Star-Ledger is asking why the bill isn't being heard for the fourth consecutive committee hearing, in what is an obvious attempt by the manufacturer's lobbyists to kill it. Read the newspaper's article, which tells of lobbyists and lawmakers playing games at the expense of young families who assume the products they purchase for their babies in New Jersey are safe.

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YOUR FAVORITE CHAIR - Pizza or Chinese. Or, Chinese or pizza? Yeah, your delivery options aren't exactly the greatest, as you sit around watching another night of "Dancing with the Stars." But we have news that will shake your core. McDonald's is now deliveringat more than 30 locations in Bergen, Essex, Hudson and Passaic counties, beginning yesterday. "McDelivery" will cost you $4.99. But if you are too lazy to even hit a drive-thru, you probably don't care about the fee. At this point, you just need to get to the front door. Hopefully your Barcalounger is on wheels.

MAPLE SHADE - We're not saying that if only one guy is in charge of the books, there will be thievery. But it seems to happen often at volunteer fire and rescue squads that raise a lot of cash and then leave it to the treasurer to count the piles. The latest case is in Maple Shade, where the local first aid chief appeared to have his own slush fund and is accused of stealing $118,345.30, give or take, from the kitty over a six-year period, NJ.com reports. The chief was the only one with access to the till, and, with his ATM card, had free access to spend, spend, spend. Easy solution: a state requirement that all checks must be double-signed, with an annual independent audit.

TRENTON - You are wearing that sharp uniform. You have the impressive badge and gun, and you can drive at 120 mph without concern. So, as a State Police Trooper, why not use the advantage to score some chicks? Uh, no, says the Attorney General, suspending an award-winning state Trooper on charges he kept pulling over women in an attempt to score dates. It went over the top when the Trooper allegedly would stop women repeatedly and, in one case, threatened to arrest one if she didn't hand over her digits.


EVERYWHERE - Heads are still rolling after notoriously unfunny "comedian" Kathy Griffin was photographed holding what appeared to be the bloody head of our President. Reaction has been swift, with Griffin apologizing and apologizing. But she is losing gigs left and right. CNN canned her from its New Year's Eve show, and she lost an actual paying gig at the Route 66 Casino Hotel outside Albuquerque. But, hey, there's always MSNBC.

PHILADELPHIA - Yo! The Rocky statue is down for the count. Tourists won't get near the statue at the Philadelphia Museum of Art for two weeks, while the city does a paving job. But don't worry, there's probably no line at the Clubber Lang statue.


Guest Tweeter: President Donald J. Trump

Happy Birthday to the losers and haters at the failing, liberal news outlet, CNN. 37 years of fake news. Sad!


Whirligig – [WER-leeh-gig] - noun

Definition: A child's toy having a whirling motion

Example: What's with these kids and their whiligigs?