The Jaffe Briefing - June 12, 2017



STATEWIDE - Back in the day, if it was hot in school, you'd sit and sweat. Maybe the teacher would turn off the lights to make it appear cooler in a classroom with no air conditioning, small windows and one crappy fan. But today, in schools across the state, there are kids getting half-day sessions for the second day in a row because, apparently, it is too hot for our little cherubs to be sitting in schools. Parents are now scrambling for a second day to coordinate pick-up and fun-filled, pool-related activities, as they also try to complete a work day. Click here to see which kiddies will be skipping out at noon, as children in developing countries anticipate another dismissal around 7 p.m.

WALL - With some unwanted national news attention on the Wall schools, someone had to pay. And that person is apparently the yearbook advisor, whose job was to ensure that nothing stupid goes in - or out - of the yearbook. The teacher, who has been working for the district for 15 years, is now suspended, pending a full investigation, after someone edited the "Trump: Make America Great Again" T-shirt off a kid's photo. Now the kid's father is demanding that all the yearbooks be republished, at somebody's expense, so the correct photo appears in all its glory.

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MORRISTOWN - And here's another high school lesson in free speech: Censorship seems alive and well at Morristown High School where a student's satirical paintings of Donald Trump got yanked from the school's annual art show. Liam Shea's paintings - one of a pig-faced President holding a pussycat, the other of Trump straddling a missile while taking a selfie - were deemed too darned controversial to display. The young artist's mother tells Morristown Green "art is meant to provoke ... this certainly did just that." So far, no early-morning tweets from the Oval Office.

ENGLEWOOD - Graduating seniors, even those with superb grades, are bring ordered to attend special sessions as the ongoing fall-out from a massive computer glitch that messed up grades, transcripts and attendance records earlier this school year, PIX 11 reports. One student tells the news station that he has to stay from 3-5 p.m. all week, as well as a Saturday session, just so school officials can triple-check and double-confirm that the kids have enough school time to graduate. Kids see it as a punishment, while school officials just can't wait for summer.

TRENTON - Isn't it about time we had an official state germ? State Sen. Sam Thompson seems to think so. He's just buggy about "Streptomyces griseus," a hardy little microbe that a Rutgers University microbiologist unearthed in our native soils way back in 1916, The Daily Beast reports. Sure, this germ's bacteria-killing properties led to the first successful antibiotic tuberculosis treatment. If Thompson musters enough Statehouse support for his oh-so-timely measure, New Jersey would be only the second state behind Oregon to actually have an official state germ. Let's see if there's any pushback from germophobes.


WACO, TEXAS - Imagine you are a cop stuck working the late shift on Friday night, when the crazies come out to play. After dealing with bar fights, domestic fights and fender-benders, you get this 911 call from the local McDonald's: A woman called cops to complain it was taking too long to get her Chicken McNuggets. The woman was demanding a free order of the 99-cent meal, camping out in the drive-thru lane and refusing to budge. Meanwhile, a line of cars was piling up on the lane, honking like mad, as McDonald's also called 911 to get this loon the hell away. Cops figured it out: the woman got her pocket change back, no nuggets and was ordered to move along.


It was this day in 1966 that you got the right to remain silent, as the U.S. Supreme Court handed down its decision in Miranda v. Arizona, establishing Miranda rights - the perfect cliché of any cop show.



Humblebrag - [huhm-buh l-brag] - noun

Definition: A statement intended as a boast or brag but disguised by a humble apology, complaint, etc.

Example: I'm going to be sooo exhausted on Fourth of July. Not to be a humblebrag, but I have some of my select awesome friends coming to my fancy beach house in Harvey Cedars, where everyone will eat my awesome food, savor the drink I named after myself, gaze upon my incredible face, and marvel in what a truly amazing life I have. It will be sooo tiring!



Editor's Note:  Jaffe Communications is the franchisee/publisher of TAPinto New Brunswick.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of or anyone who works for is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

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