OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

LAKEWOOD - Under the heading of "Only in Lakewood," the school board has offered to hire an attorney who successfully sued the district at least 80 times. By a 6-1 margin, the board voted to appoint Michael Inzelbuch, who had the job for 10 years. The lone "no" vote came from board member Heriberto Rodriguez. After he voted no, NJ.com reports, someone in the audience could be heard saying "thank you," followed by applause from others in attendance. On the attorney's website, check out this slogan: "Every child deserves an appropriate education - at the district's expense." (Gasp.) Inzelbuch says he needs time to consider whether he'll take the school job. We hope he does; perhaps he'll stop suing a long-time client.

AT THE BANK - Uncle Sam sent rubber checks to a bunch of U.S. District Court jurors over the past few few weeks. Instead of getting the normal $40-a-day fees for dozing off in jury boxes, NJ.com says, jurors were getting bad checks from the U.S. Treasury. (Yeah, that's scary.) Worse, jurors were getting slapped with hefty bank penalties for depositing federal checks with insufficient funds. On Friday, the District Court vowed on its website to make good and reimburse jurors who had to pay fees and are now dealing with the bank. The thrill of jury duty has no end.

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WILLINGBORO - The mayor here fell on his sword, resigning from office to thwart a resident's lawsuit that claims he is no longer eligible to serve because his home got foreclosed and he moved elsewhere. Christopher Walker quit Friday, citing health issues, weeks after winning a hotly-contested Democratic primary. Walker told Philly.com he hopes his departure derails the politically-motivated lawsuit before taxpayers get slapped with any frivolous legal costs. Silver lining: Walker is no longer a public servant - a punching bag with his apparent financial issues in full display.

BEDMINISTER - With our Twitterer-In-Chief slumming at Camp David for the weekend, this Somerset County town got a well-deserved break from motorcades, closed roads and placard-waving protesters. The luxury-loving Trump clan gave up their customary gilded grandeur for the woodsy 125-acre Presidential hideaway near Thurmont, Md., where The Donald could escape gushing admirers and hopefully cable news "analysis." His choice to use the rustic retreat is also a welcomed gift for Bedminster, sure to save taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars in weekend security.

 

TRENTON - Fiscal mismanagement and sloppy recordkeeping are reasons the feds are pulling $3.3 million from the city. NJ.com says Trenton needs to repay Community Development Block grant money, after apparently botching the program from 2007 and 2013. We're talking $1.1 million less a year over the next three years - or about a 50 percent cut - for such important things as housing rehabilitation, social service programs and infrastructure. It's so hard to leverage funding from sources other than taxpayers; gross ineptitude is infuriating.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

OXNARD, Calif. - Sure, guacamole isn't cheap. And maybe that's why authorities are targeting three produce company workers busted for stealing $300,000 worth of avocados. It is being called "Grand Theft Avocado," (Hee-Hee), as the three guys sit in jail, each on $250,000 bail, after conducting "unauthorized cash sales of avocados" from a ripening facility in Oxnard. Cops think the side business reaped about $300,000, or about 3 million guacamole orders at your local Chili's.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2013 that Tony Soprano, (we mean, James Gandolfini), died of a heart attack in Rome. Known best as New Jersey's favorite crime boss for six terrific seasons, Gandolfini is also remembered today for being a big supporter of his alma mater, Rutgers.

Hey, did anyone catch his first performance - 1987's low-budget "Shock! Shock! Shock!"?

WORD OF THE DAY

Sundog: [SUN-dawg] - noun

Definition: A bright circular spot on a solar halo; parhelion.

Example: When I see a sundog, I usually say "Wow!" or "Hey!" or, sometimes, "Check that out!"

WEATHER IN THE WORD

Thunder