The Jaffe Briefing - June 6, 2017

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OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY 

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - Notice our patriotic header? Nope, it's not Memorial Day, again. It is Election Day in New Jersey, with polls open until 8 p.m. for voters to decide who will be representing their political parties in the November races. The biggest prize is the governor's seat, with six Democrats and five Republicans vying for their party's nod. All 120 seats in the state Legislature are also on the ballot, as well as a bunch of county and municipal races. While this seems like a lot of boiling drama, there's little chance for upsets at the top of the ticket. But, heck, go vote anyway; some polling places have extra donuts.

FREEHOLD BOROUGH - Freehold High School could have the distinction for employing the worst school psychologist in the state; the guy is now fired. One distraught student, whose girlfriend dumped him, received this counseling: Your ex is a "slut" who is "banging other guys." But, to make the kid feel better, the psychologist added the teen would "f- 40 girls" once he got to college. The psychologist also has some favorite book recommendations, such as the profanity-laced book, "F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems." NJ.com reports the psychologist - with a doctorate from NYU - often cursed and yelled to the point where colleagues worried for student safety. They even ordered him to take a drug test, thinking maybe he's on steroids. Results were negative. The former employee denies it all.

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ON THE RAILS - Good news for commuters: Amtrak is lifting the 10-mph speed restrictions in Penn Station New York, to minimize delays for NJ Transit trains, now with 30-minute or so delays nearly every day, NJ.com reports. It's certainly welcome news for ticked-off commuters, with all the summer track work beginning July 10 that is promising to be a nightmare. Perhaps we should all just quietly gloss over why Amtrak instituted the speed restriction in the first place and hope all these track workers have plenty of insurance.

JERSEY CITY – The urban landscape is not your typical lab to study nature, which is why the presentations today from 150 middle and high school kids should be pretty interesting. Working through New Jersey Audubon and Honeywell, kids from 11 schools will be talking about how they adopted neighborhood trees, planted butterfly gardens, launched compost programs, created new habitats for wild birds, wrote music and songs about biodiversity and did plenty of other stuff to help green Jersey City.

IN THE MEDIA

THE FREEZER - Pete Genovese of The Star-Ledger should earn some battle pay, after taste testing 37 brands and 70 frozen pizzas found in the grocery freezer. Of course, there were some gems. But he also tasted the absolute worst cardboard, smothered in some red stuff marketed as "sauce," with various mushy items billed as "toppings," like "meat" and "vegetables." His worst is "Jeno's," featuring "genetically-engineered cheese," which "On my last day on earth I'd rather eat earth." There's also Totino's, offering runny sauce and burnt cheese, a "cratered surface-of-the-moon foundation" and the "pepperoni seasoning'' made with pork, chicken and beef. "That's more than I needed to know," he writes. Read the list here.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

SPRINGFIELD, NE - The local girls' soccer organization is under fire for disqualifying a team in the finals. Why? Because little Mili, age 8, looked too much like a boy. Her family rushed in, producing her health insurance card which clearly identified her as a girl. But, someone, somewhere had mistakenly registered her as a boy on the youth soccer registration card, and, obviously, that certainly can never, ever be changed. Someone complained, people started asking about her short haircut and boyish features, the girl wept uncontrollably, parents pleaded and - still - the team got the boot. "Just because I look like a boy doesn't mean I am a boy," 8-year-old Mili told Nebraska's WOWT 6 News. "They don't have a reason to kick the whole club out."

PHILADELPHIA - It's nothing new for parents to go overboard in preparing for the prom, laying out a spread of food for the kids as they wait for the limo. But a mom from North Philly is raising many eyebrows, spending $25,000 on a lavish Dubai-themed block party. We're talking a camel, a Lamborghini, a Range Rover, a Rolls Royce, three tons of sand, three professional-grade sets, and three dates (each with commissioned custom dresses) for the blushing kid and hundreds of revelers, CBS Philly reports. It's all because the kid is a straight-A student, and mom believed he deserved something memorable. Other kids may get a watch.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1933 that teens found a whole new place to make out, with the opening of America's first drive-in movie theater, on Crescent Boulevard in Camden.

WORD OF THE DAY 

Adumbrate - [AD-um-brayt] - verb

Definition: To foreshadow vaguely; to intimate

Example: Shall I take the great leap to adumbrate that Phil Murphy wins the primary?

WEATHER IN A WORD

Wet

Editor's Note:  Jaffe Communications is the franchisee/publisher of TAPinto New Brunswick.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

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