TRENTON – Wasn’t a law passed last year to take care of all the “dark money” in New Jersey politics? Yes, but as NJ Spotlight reports, it ran into formidable opposition, several lawsuits, and a very unimpressed judge. Now it’s back to the drawing board for the law’s lead sponsors, Sen. Troy Singleton and Assemblyman Andrew Zwicker, who would very much like a replacement toute de suite, before all the millions and millions (and millions) of dollars start pouring in for the November elections. We’ll see… or will we?

READINGTON – Our state’s Festival of Ballooning hit the jackpot for at least the next few years. The New Jersey Lottery is stepping in with a multi-year deal to be title sponsor for the July event. This comes four months after QuickChek apparently didn’t sell enough $2.99 six-inch subs to continue funding its 27-year sponsorship. (Actually, QuickChek has been terrifically generous to keep this festival going for so many years.) Lottery Director James Carey says he’s “thrilled to preserve this gem,” a summertime staple for the past 38 years. To mark the lottery’s 50th anniversary, this year’s festival at Solberg Airport is going to feature an 80-foot-high cake-shaped hot air balloon. And festival-goers who show up for the July 24-26 event with losing lottery tickets can get discounts on admission prices. So, everybody wins. 

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NORTH WILDWOOD – “Please leave your stupid at home.” That’s the message from the local mayor, after a viral video caught a guy jumping through the top of a portable toilet. The video was posted courtesy of Barstool Sports, catching this spectacular person jumping from the seawall through the roof of a municipal-owned portable toilet. The potty had been placed by the shore for the polar bear plunge on Feb. 22. But it certainly wasn’t meant for this type of plunge.

BRIEFING BREATHER: Mouse sperm are longer than elephant sperm.

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP – Always fun to check out the police blotter in the Courier Post, which covers rural South Jersey towns. Take this sprawling Gloucester County community, where cops in the past week dealt with three key issues: finding a goat, investigating a stolen crosswalk sign and dealing with some guy who slammed into the back of a patrol car. Oh, where to begin? On Sunday, a resident reported a “loose goat,” on Delsea Drive, dispatching cops into the woods to go find it. They caught it, just before it got tangled in a thicket. Last Thursday, the crosswalk sign vanished off Delsea Drive, prompting cops to use a doorbell camera to find a local pizza delivery guy, who explained the theft was a little bit of a prank. Hee-Hee. He ran home and retrieved the $300 sign from his bedroom. And then a cop was rear-ended at 4 a.m. Saturday, stopped at a red light at Route 42, sending the officer to the hospital to be checked out. Whew. What a week.



EATONTOWN – Like it or not, a ‘disc golf course’ is coming to a woodsy 80-acre borough park. After a year of wrangling, council members ignored a score of objectors who like Leon Smock-80 Acre Park just the way it is, voting 4-1 to OK a nine-hole (or is it basket?) flying-disc golf course. Most of the park is forested with nature trails, a few ball fields, a basketball court and a playground. The Atlantic Hub says opponents do not want trees cut down, wildlife endangered or other park-goers whacked with flying Frisbees. Before abstaining from the vote, Councilman Mark Regan scolded objectors for making “horrible unfounded accusations” about council members “scheming, lying, (making) backroom deals and taking money.” Who knew disc golf had such drama?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ARLINGTON, VA. – Just when you thought they ran out of new things to sell from a food truck: introducing the “Woofbowl.” It’s a food truck that has gone to the dogs, offering fare exclusive to our four-legged friends. Your pooch can enjoy anything from cheeseburgers to ice cream to “beer,” all served up doggie-style. The food truck founders say plenty of dog food is filled with harmful, unpronounceable ingredients, which is why almost half of dogs over 10 get cancer. That’s why you need to turn to Woofbowl, the next time you road trip with your dog to DC metro.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1960 that Lucille Ball files divorce from Desi Arnaz. Will anyone else love Lucy?

WORD OF THE DAY

Rectitudinous  – [rek-tə-TOO-də-nəs] – adjective

Definition: Piously self-righteous

Example: Notice how every presidential candidate carries himself or herself as a rectitudinous character with a spotless record.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Having a good relationship with Russia is a good thing, not a bad thing. Only stupid people, or fools, would think that it is bad.”

-Donald J. Trump

TODAY'S TRUMPISM

“If the Soviet Union let another political party come into existence, they would still be a one-party state, because everybody would join the other party.”

- Ronald Reagan

WEATHER IN A WORD: Spring-y

THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun