** It is Conference Season! The Jaffe Briefing is Away Beginning Monday, May 15, Returning Tuesday, May 30 **


TRENTON - FBI Director Chris Christie? Gulp. Media is reporting that our governor is on the list of candidates to be the next FBI director, following yesterday's unceremonious dismissal of the embattled James Comey. President Trump is looking for a replacement who can restore "public trust and confidence" in the FBI. NJ 101.5 reports the governor's name has "appeared on several lists of possible choices." Christie is perfect for the job, as envisioned by Trump. He is blindingly loyal, secretive and brash. Finally, he gets our vote.  

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ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - At last night's gubernatorial debate, it was fascinating to watch the Republican candidates run as far away from Gov. Chris Christie as possible. Assemblyman Jack Ciattarelli made sure the audience knew his opponent, Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno, has been a member of the "Christie Administration" for seven-plus years. Meanwhile, Guadagno acknowledges there's been a lot of "yelling and screaming," but, in her experience, "you get more done if you don't care who gets the credit." She claims to have voiced her objections to the big guy, very privately and respectfully, on multiple occasions and was quick to pivot: "I've never seen Jack Ciattarelli in Chris Christie's office. I've never seen him raise a complaint to the governor," Guadagno said. Not so, says Ciattarelli, adding, "No Republican in this state has been more critical of the governor than Jack Ciattarelli."  

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - While last night's debate offered plenty of intrigue for geeks like us, perhaps the best part was the "Outcast Debate," taking place outside the Stockton University campus center. The makeshift debate featured four candidates who fell short of the legal requirements to be on the dais. The summary: All slammed frontrunner Phil Murphy. As three cop cars and some bomb-sniffing dogs milled about, the long-shot candidates said it costs around $430,000 to participate in the debate, the minimum amount candidates need to participate center stage, NJ.com reports. It was considerably cheaper to stand outside, on a short concrete wall, awkwardly in a suit, dealing with heckling from Murphy supporters.

CARLSTADT - When you walk into two bars, guzzle a bunch of booze, get on your motorcycle and crash, apparently it's someone else's fault. A local man is suing the two bars, in Kearny and Clifton, that served him a ridiculous amounts of alcohol, both tequila and pisco sours, on a fuzzy night in July 2015, NJ.com says. The plaintiff then got on his bike and smacked it up, severely injuring his leg. Under the Dram Shop law, a bar can be sued for serving a visibly drunk customer. And, so, this drunk is the "victim." 

BLOOMFIELD - He didn't say "Damn straight" or "Hell yes." But a former Bloomfield councilman said, "I sure did," when asked if he took a $15,000 bribe from a resident trying to sell his property to the town. Bloomfield First Ward Councilman Elias Chalet pleaded guilty to the bribery charge, telling his attorney "I sure did" solicit the bribe, NJ.com reports. He was ordered to give up his elected post, obviously, and is slapped with a lifetime ban on public employment. He also had to give back the $15,000. Amazingly, no jail time. 


HARRISBURG, Pa. - It's supposed to be a great program for kids to get a couple of college credits while in high school. Yet, somehow, a Pennsylvania girl was able to generate enough credits at a local community college to earn an associate's degree before graduating from high school. WPMT-TV reports the 17-year-old girl completed 63 credits, earning the distinction as the very first graduate of Harrisburg Area Community College before finishing high school. She took the college classes online, making it possible to work two jobs and still deal with all the high school stuff. She'll receive her diploma from South Western High School in June, which is, well, sorta ho-hum.


It was this day in 1877 that President Rutherford B. Hayes decided to install a telephone in the White House. But he didn't receive many calls, as the Treasury Secretary had the only direct line to the President and treasury officials didn't apparently like chit-chat. Not hard to remember Hayes' phone number, which was, write this down, "1." 


Lanuginous - [luh-NOO-juh-nus] - adjective 

Definition: Covered with down or fine soft hair  

Example: On the White House tour, you are not permitted to see the lanuginous wigs.