The Jaffe Briefing - November 13, 2017

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OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

BERKLEY - If someone told us two years ago that Ivanka Trump would be hanging out at the Bayville Fire Hall, we'd be looking at the sky for flying pigs. But you can catch her trucking down Route 9 this morning, for a 10:30 a.m. meeting with official, card-carrying "regular people" to talk about the Republican tax reform plan. Ivanka will remind us that her dad is all about the middle class and giving them the meaningful tax relief they deserve. Once the photographers get their shots, unclear - or, dare we say, doubtful - Ivanka will stick around for the fish fry and the 50/50. If Ivanka is interested in returning, perhaps to host a gala, the hall rents for $850 for five hours.

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ATLANTIC CITY - The 102nd-annual League of Municipalities conference kicks off tomorrow, the ideal place for people remotely involved in the Phil Murphy campaign to take a victory lap. It is also a great place for others to say, "Hey, I was with Phil all the time. We're pals. We're buds. I even went to Germany when he was the ambassador and suggested he run for governor!"  Far fetched? Ridiculous? Well, then you haven't been to the League and tried to comprehend the gibberish around 2 a.m. or so, following the 11th party of the evening.

NEWARK - As we are all still trying to recover from the sugar shock of Halloween, Mars Wrigley Confectionary is eyeing a triumphant Brick City comeback, nearly 60 years after it retreated way out into the Jersey burbs. TAPInto Newark reports that the international candy manufacturer has applied for a 10-year, $31.5 million Grow New Jersey grant to open shop in a new seven-story, mixed-use project adjacent to the Prudential Center. A really sweet victory for Newark.

IN THE SPIN ROOM - There were not many bright spots in Lt. Gov. Kim Guadagno's gubernatorial campaign - unless you compare her showing to Barbara Buono's even more depressing 2013 gubernatorial bid. Not sure what the takeaway is when NJ 101.5 reports that Guadagno beat Buono's vote total by more than 68,000 votes, except maybe to show how remarkably fickle the New Jersey electorate can be when our governors close bridges (allegedly), yell at everybody and then fail to be President.

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IN THE MEDIA

IN THE GARDEN - Newsweek has shown some interesting editorial judgment, assigning an old boys' club a fitting name: The Garden of Dicks. This is, according to the weekly mag, the place where male entitlement is so massive that many men assume women will "let you do anything," as our president famously observed. It's also the place where men can emasculate potential foes, as exhibited when the president's former chief adviser, Steve Bannon, called House Speaker Paul Ryan "a limp-dick motherf**er." Well, 30 years after the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that sexual harassment can be an actionable form of sex discrimination, and after countless women are stepping forward to levy harassment charges against powerful men, this secret garden is now, um, exposed. 

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Another way to beat the cops in the interrogation room: excessive flatulence. A detective fled the interrogation of a Kansas City man charged with drug and gun offenses, unable to withstand the odor. In his report, a detective seeking the suspect's address, said 24-year-old Sean Sykes Jr. "leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering." The Kansas City Star reports Sykes kept it up, ultimately driving the detective away to fresh air. The public defender has not yet responded to media inquiries, likely consumed with surfing the net for a gas mask.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was on this day in 2014 that the Islamic State announced it was creating its own currency to remove itself from the world's financial system, which it deems "satanic." The logic is unclear: How do you become a world power if you refuse to participate in the global economy?

WORD OF THE DAY

Roué - [roo-AY] - noun

Definition: A man devoted to a life of sensual pleasure

Example: There are plenty of roués in the Garden of Dicks.

WEATHER IN A WORD

Wet

Editor's Note:  Jaffe Communications is the franchisee/publisher of TAPinto New Brunswick.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

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New Brunswick

The Jaffe Briefing - May 21, 2018




The Jaffe Briefing will not publish from Thursday through Monday. A great Memorial Day to all!


STATEWIDE - Should public school students be allowed to attend schools in other towns? That's the big, controversial question in a lawsuit filed against the state that looks to end what some consider to be the worst school segregation in the nation. The ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 18, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

IN COURT - Sounds like a cheesy thing to do, but the NJ Turnpike Authority has gone to court for years trying to stop a pizzeria chain whose logo is suspiciously similar to our beloved Garden State Parkway sign. Sure, nobody wants drivers searching for an on-ramp to end ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 17, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

MOUNTAINSIDE - Oh, where to begin describing this 46-page lawsuit against two Mountainside cops? A detective sergeant placing his testicles on co-workers' food. And throwing poop-smeared toilet tissue at them. And defecating in someone's boots. And taunting with a dildo dubbed "Big Blue" he liked to wave in cops' faces, as he chased ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 16, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

ATLANTIC CITY - Happy days are here again, as the state's once gasping gaming resort is expecting sports betting will rake in $150 million to $175 million a year in new, glorious profits - courtesy of your pals on the U.S. Supreme Court. Moreover, ecstatic Stockton University officials believe, this recharged gambling mecca will bring in a whole new ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 15, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

STATEWIDE - This. Changes. Everything. Legal sports betting is finally taking its rightful place in New Jersey, with the U.S. Supreme Court throwing out this dumb federal ban that has lasted for more than 25 years and has cost New Jersey billions of dollars in wasted opportunity. Places like the Atlantic City casinos and the racetracks will suddenly ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 14, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

TRENTON - If you are a 16-year-old kid, absolutely convinced you have the maturity to make a life-long commitment, now's the time to get married. That's because state officials are poised to ban child marriage, ending the horrid practice of children as young as 16 getting hitched. NJ 101.5 reports there have been 200 such marriages ...

Newark man given 22-year sentence for kidnapping, sexual asault of Rutgers student

May 18, 2018

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - A Newark man was sentenced Friday to 22 years in prison for the 2016 kidnapping and sexual assault of a Rutgers University student on the school campus in New Brunswick.

Michael Knight, 40, of Newark must serve at least 85 percent of his sentence before he is eligible for parole, Middlesex County Prosecutor Andrew Carey said in a statement today.

Superior Court Judge ...

Rutgers center battles noise pollution nationwide

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The man was recovering from having a pace maker in his chest and wondering of the impact of the noise from the gym.

“I’ve received thousands of calls,” said Zwerling, ...

Rutgers graduation to bring heavy weekend traffic

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ  - RU ready for gridlock?

An estimated 45,000 people will fill High Point Solutions Stadium in Piscataway for Rutgers University graduation ceremonies this Sunday, bringing heavy traffic throughout much of the day.

The first ceremony at the stadium will begin at 10 a.m., followed by another at 12:30 p.m. and another later ceremony at the Rutgers ...

Police Investigate Rabbit "Tale"

May 11, 2018

SOUTH PLAINFIELD, NJ – Local cops are investigating an incident of ‘theft by deception’ involving the Plainfield Animal Hospital. 

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OPINION

Here's How to Help Protect Young Athletes from Injury: Let Them Play Multiple Sports

May 1, 2018

Dear TAPInto New Brunswick:

One of the responsibilities that parents take most seriously is protecting their children from injury, whether it is buckling seat belts in a car or wearing a helmet while riding a bike. And when their kids become teenagers and want to participate in sports or other activities, parents do everything they can to keep their sons and daughters from getting ...

Golf & Canasta/Mah-Jongg/Board Game Classic on May 20th

May 13, 2018

         The Daniel Pearl Education Center (DPEC), an East Brunswick-based charitable organization that sponsors a wide range of community outreach programs, is hosting its fifth annual Golf Classic on Sunday, May 20 at the Cranbury Golf Club.
          In addition to the golf tournament, there will also be an ...