TOMS RIVER - Taxpayer money is being used for books, teachers and... a private investigator? The Toms River regional schools have hired its own version of Magnum PI to learn who leaked a sexual harassment complaint against Superintendent David M. Healy to the Asbury Park Press and other media outlets this summer. The newspaper received an email  Monday night from the private investigator. Magnum writes: "I am waiting to hear from a few others but expect to be in Toms River on Thursday, September 28, 2017. Each interview will be brief. I would plan for fifteen to twenty minutes at a maximum. We are trying to get our interviews done on a timely basis so your cooperation is appreciated."  The Asbury Park Press response: Uh, no thanks.

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EWING - I'll take the chicken sandwich, with extra maggots, please. A local man tells the Trentonian that he found maggots on his buffalo chicken cheesesteak hoagie on Saturday at a local convenience store. After taking a couple of bites, he claims, maggots were crawling on the sandwich wrapper. He received a prompt refund, but the convenience store chain claims the existence of maggots are "highly unlikely and probably impossible." Let's not besmirch a major business based on the allegations of one customer; the store will only be identified as "Wava."

ON THE ROAD - Sure, you were able to enjoy a couple of SuperSONIC®Double Cheeseburgers, at only 1,280 calories apiece. But what really may give you indigestion is the fact that Sonic Drive-In is apparently the latest company to suffer from credit card security breaches. NJ 101.5 reports the fast food chain, with 17 locations in New Jersey, has had "unusual activity" involving credit cards used at Sonic, with all those private numbers sold on the black market. It is all spelled out here.  Cash, it appears, remains king.

TRENTON - The head of the state's Motor Vehicle Commission is revving up for a big promotion. It looks like Raymond Martinez, who has run our famously-fun motor vehicles offices since February 2010, is about to be named administrator of the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration, assigned with improving the safety of commercial vehicles nationwide. We can throw in plenty of side-splitting jokes about the DMV, but truly appreciate that our cars remain registered and our licenses regularly renewed.

TRENTON - And there could be yet another impressive promotion in line for a long-time New Jersey official, with word that the superintendent of the State Police may become the new head of the federal Drug Enforcement Administration, NJ.com reports. Col. Rick Fuentes is considered a "leading contender" for the near impossible job that apparently only a guy from Jersey can handle.


BALTIMORE - Last week, we shook our collective heads at London,with its gigantic glob of congealed fat and waste blocking its sewer lines. Those crazy Brits. Well, a similar "fatberg" has been discovered in Baltimore and is now causing major overflows in the sewers. Curious to know how long the city ignored the fatberg, made up of wet wipes and other disgusting things, which caused about 1.2 million gallons of sewage to seep into the Jones Falls waterway. The Baltimore Sun says the fatberg was suddenly "discovered" near Baltimore Penn Station, jamming up a century-old 24-inch wide pipe with oils, grease and congealed fats. Up to 85 percent of the pipe was clogged, blocking the flow of sewage. Workers have been spending their days scraping out the pipes and sending the mass remnants to a local landfill. Kids: go to college.



Maybe Florida was not yet ready for ice hockey on this day in 1991, when an exhibition game between the Islanders and Bruins in St. Petersburg was cancelled due to melting ice.


Aggiornamento: [uh-jawr-nuh-MEN-toh] - noun

Definition: The act of bringing something up to date to meet current needs.

Example: The one upside of Hurricane Maria is that it may bring some much-needed aggiornamento to Puerto Rico's rickety power grid.