Jaffe Morning Briefing

The Jaffe Briefing - January 16, 2018

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46395f35a60631ccc81e_have-i-got-gnus-for-you.jpg

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

TRENTON - Red-blooded New Jerseyans, in their respectable Republican cloth coats, have been dreading today. An actual breathing liberal, once again, takes over the governor's office and ruins everything. It was eight strong years of solid conservative stewardship, they think, as they trudge up the stairs of the War Memorial in Trenton, scuffing their high-gloss wingtips, and brace themselves for this former Obama-era German ambassador to take the oath as governor at high noon. To them, a basement of liberals is a "whine cellar." Murphy probably calls his Tic Tacs "Entite-mints," they grumble. He'll probably turn Drumthwacket into a community beet farm. But, hey, it is only four years, right? RIGHT?

TRENTON - It could be eight long, scary years for these wing-tippers,as the Murphy agenda is something concocted in their darkest nightmares. This landslide victory was built on legalized marijuana, a $15 minimum wage, a millionaire's tax and safeguards for all those undocumented immigrants allegedly stealing all the great jobs. The Washington Post questions if the Murphy agenda could be the template for a blue wave sweeping the country as a Trump backlash. With Democrats running the state Legislature, as well, will New Jersey's liberals be able to move the ball, or eat each other while battling through the process? Republicans will be watching from the sideline, eager to pounce.

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HOBOKEN - To Hoboken Mayor Ravi Bhalla and 100 or so other city residents, yesterday's "Day of Service" called for flooding NJ Transit's building in Newark to block the agency from buying a glorious piece of riverfront property that Hoboken wants as a public park. The privately-owned ferry company, New York Waterway, is salivating over the purchase of the Union Dry Dock. Fortunately, for Bhalla and others, the vote was postponed, but the whole scenario caught the attention of Gov.-elect Phil Murphy, claiming this rush to vote on a federal holiday "is emblematic of everything the public has come to loathe about NJ Transit and another reason why it needs a complete overhaul." Rather then semi-secret land deals, NJ Transit should devote its attention to getting trains back and forth on a somewhat reliable schedule.

TRENTON - As workers were etching a new name on the door, and changing the drapes with fury, Gov. Chris Christie found a dusty, half-dried Bic yesterday to sign 109 bills in his final strokes as governor, and ignoring/rejecting 41 or so other bills. Thank you, Mr. Christie, for agreeing to ban "bump stock," from guns, stripping crazy policing powers from the NJSPCA and ensuring background checks for workers assigned to people with developmental disabilities. Yet he rejected an attempt to ban elephants from being used in circuses. And we thought Republicans liked elephants.

TRENTON - If your form of entertainment is slamming a fifth of bourbon and then taking a drone for a spin, you better head out to Pennsylvania. No more drunken slobs are allowed to fly unmanned drone aircraft in New Jersey, in one of the final laws signed by Gov. Chris Christie. It is doubtful many drunks stormed the Statehouse, demanding that it is their unalienable right to be completely plastered before sending their drones into the Jersey skies, making this an easy law for the governor to sign. Here is what you need to know: Curb your drinking to ensure a blood alcohol content level of 0.07 percent, or face six months in jail, a $1,000 fine, or both, if, for some reason, a cop is actually able to find you cowering behind that bush.

IN THE MEDIA

Q: What do you get when you take horses and attach big horns, shaggy fur and giant hooves?

A: Fake gnus.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates - Only in the Saudi capital - where the streets are carved in marble - is the local Ritz Carlton used as a make-shift prison. No joke, as the country's elite caught up in a corruption sting have been thrown in the Ritz Carlton "prison," forced to dine exclusively on room service, order only one afternoon massage and lounge in imported cashmere robes, as opposed to standard prison garb. Phone lines have been cut to the hotel since Nov. 5, when the crackdown began. Ritz Carlton is pleased to note the hotel will be open to actual guests just in time for Valentine's Day. Yet guests should expect to share a hot tub with crooked real estate developers. No extra charge for that.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

The guy selling shoes at the local Payless was laughing himself silly on this day in 2012 when hackers busted in on 24 million customer accounts at online shoe giant Zappos.

WORD OF THE DAY

Demiurge - [DEM-ee-erj] - noun

Definition: One that is an autonomous creative force or decisive power

Example: Will Governor Murphy be more successful than other state leaders at playing demiurge?

WEATHER IN A WORD

Inaugural

Editor's Note:  Jaffe Communications is the franchisee/publisher of TAPinto New Brunswick.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

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New Brunswick

The Jaffe Briefing - May 23, 2018




The Jaffe Briefing will not publish from Thursday through Monday. A great Memorial Day to all!


OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

SEASIDE HEIGHTS - Sex can be an almost-religious experience, but it seems a bit excessive to copulate under a statue of the Virgin Mary in a Catholic church's outdoor prayer garden. Yet, that's where ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 22, 2018




The Jaffe Briefing will not publish from Thursday through Monday. A great Memorial Day to all!


MANVILLE - If marijuana becomes legal in New Jersey, here's another town where you won't be able to buy it: Manville. The mayor and council unanimously voted to prohibit any sale of weed - recreational and medicinal - within Manville's borders. The ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 21, 2018




The Jaffe Briefing will not publish from Thursday through Monday. A great Memorial Day to all!


STATEWIDE - Should public school students be allowed to attend schools in other towns? That's the big, controversial question in a lawsuit filed against the state that looks to end what some consider to be the worst school segregation in the nation. The ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 18, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

IN COURT - Sounds like a cheesy thing to do, but the NJ Turnpike Authority has gone to court for years trying to stop a pizzeria chain whose logo is suspiciously similar to our beloved Garden State Parkway sign. Sure, nobody wants drivers searching for an on-ramp to end ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 17, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

MOUNTAINSIDE - Oh, where to begin describing this 46-page lawsuit against two Mountainside cops? A detective sergeant placing his testicles on co-workers' food. And throwing poop-smeared toilet tissue at them. And defecating in someone's boots. And taunting with a dildo dubbed "Big Blue" he liked to wave in cops' faces, as he chased ...

The Jaffe Briefing - May 16, 2018

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY

ATLANTIC CITY - Happy days are here again, as the state's once gasping gaming resort is expecting sports betting will rake in $150 million to $175 million a year in new, glorious profits - courtesy of your pals on the U.S. Supreme Court. Moreover, ecstatic Stockton University officials believe, this recharged gambling mecca will bring in a whole new ...

Rutgers Athletics Signs Dyehard Fan Supply to New Multi-Year Agreement

May 21, 2018

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ -  Rutgers Athletics has selected Dyehard Fan Supply, an event and retail merchandise marketing and e-commerce company, as the official merchandising partner for the Scarlet Knights in a new multi-year agreement.Dyehard will handle game day and event merchandising for Rutgers Athletics.

“We’re excited to expand gameday merchandising options and elevate ...

Newark man given 22-year sentence for kidnapping, sexual asault of Rutgers student

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - A Newark man was sentenced Friday to 22 years in prison for the 2016 kidnapping and sexual assault of a Rutgers University student on the school campus in New Brunswick.

Michael Knight, 40, of Newark must serve at least 85 percent of his sentence before he is eligible for parole, Middlesex County Prosecutor Andrew Carey said in a statement today.

Superior Court Judge ...

Rutgers center battles noise pollution nationwide

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ  - Eric Zwerling got a call this week from a man was living next to a fitness center, complaining he repeatedly heard the loud thud heavy free weights and medicine balls hit the floor.

The man was recovering from having a pace maker in his chest and wondering of the impact of the noise from the gym.

“I’ve received thousands of calls,” said Zwerling, ...

OPINION

Here's How to Help Protect Young Athletes from Injury: Let Them Play Multiple Sports

May 1, 2018

Dear TAPInto New Brunswick:

One of the responsibilities that parents take most seriously is protecting their children from injury, whether it is buckling seat belts in a car or wearing a helmet while riding a bike. And when their kids become teenagers and want to participate in sports or other activities, parents do everything they can to keep their sons and daughters from getting ...

Department of Human Services Awards Teens for Creativity in Celebrating Their Family Tree

May 24, 2018

(TRENTON) - The New Jersey Department of Human Services on Wednesday honored 12 New Jersey high school and middle school students for their winning entries in the 2018 New Jersey Teen Media Contest, which celebrated the students’ artistic and written word portrayal of how their family tree may look.

The contest hosted by the department’s Division of Family Development focused on ...