ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - There's a Democratic primary in New York between Gov. Andrew Cuomo and "Sex in the City" star Cynthia Nixon. And why do we care? Because our governor is not blindly throwing his support behind Cuomo in the race, reports New Jersey Globe. "We're not getting involved in that," Murphy said, when asked who he supports, admitting he never met Nixon, but saw her on TV, likely sipping a mimosa at the latest brunch. It's strange that a Democratic governor would not voice quick support for a strong Democratic incumbent just one state over. But you can bet Cuomo will certainly remember Murphy's decision to simply "observe" the race, especially the next time Murphy dares to ask for support from across the Hudson.
DOWN THE SHORE - The sun is glorious, the air is crisp and clear. So, for god's sake, stay out of the ocean. Meteorologists, desperate to hype something during a picture-perfect week in New Jersey, say Hurricane Chris is lurking out there in the ocean, about 300 miles to the southeast. What does that mean? No rain. No heavy winds. Just more and more of that glorious sun. Yet, the weather guy demands you to stay out of the ocean because of the moderate rip currents and strong waves the hurricane is prompting. So, safely enjoy the surf from the shore, crack a cold one and spritz yourself with a water bottle.
AT HOME - Got junk? Piles in every nook and cranny? Well, TV's "American Pickers" may pay cold hard cash for it. History Channel celebs Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz head to the Garden State next month to forage through dank basements, dark attics and stuffed garages for your grungy toys, rusty car parts, porcelain road signs and whatever the hell else you treasure. A show producer tells NJ.com that Wolfe and Fritz prefer "unusual and unique" Jersey junk from our wackiest of residents. Touching or bizarre backstories are a plus. If you are quirky, a hoarder or downright weird, call call 1-855-OLD-RUST or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
ROCKAWAY - Feuding elected officials might seem entertaining if their senseless infighting wasn't so expensive. Here, the bitter and ongoing battle between Mayor Michael Duchesne and the Town Council heads to Superior Court. The Daily Record says the mayor sued to block the council from holding hearings into his alleged misuse of tax money. Dachisen says it's a lot of hooey, claiming the council president is fueling the ongoing dispute. To defend themselves, five council members have now hired separate lawyers, each at $265 an hour. It's all on the taxpayers' dime, of course, leaving Dachisen to wonder: "When will this bleeding stop?" Perhaps in August, when a judge gets to decide. Or, in November, when voters get their chance.
TOMS RIVER - Local resident Doug Derrigno has found his jetski - six years after Sandy swept it away. Just a few months after moving in to his rebuilt house, Derrigno told News 12 New Jersey he got the phone call that it had washed up a few miles away in Brick - but the property owner mistakenly reported the sevens in the registration number as ones, so it sat for six years, key still in the ignition as the area rebuilt. Derrigno says it still runs like a top and is now happily making waves along the shore once again. A happy ending to a very long recovery story.
IN THE MEDIA
Former Trentonian reporter David Sommers would have a field daywriting about a guy with an illegal empire: catching protected diamondback turtles from New Jersey and then selling them across the country at $350 a pop. In this case, Sommers is the guy everyone is writing about, when the feds busted him for all this alleged illegal smuggling, the Trentonian reports. The feds think he may have trapped and trafficked 3,500 of these turtles and their eggs from coastal marshes, as part of a thriving side business. Some of the turtles were taken to Canada in a falsely labeled package he claimed contained a $10 book. Sommers is believed to have amassed $1.2 million from all this. So, yes, it's true: there can be a lucrative future for a tabloid reporter.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
PRESTON, Idaho - Rather than plea down to a fine, an Idaho teacher insists he is "not guilty" of feeding a sick puppy to a snapping turtle in front of his shocked students at Preston Junior High School. This will be an interesting case for his attorney, who somehow has to prove that all those stunned little eyewitnesses did not see what the turtle was eating for lunch on March 7. The turtle was later seized and euthanized. Meanwhile, this teacher is looking at six months in jail and a $5,000 fine. What a sick puppy.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1989 that President Ronald Reagan serves as a NBC sports commentator for the All Star Game, likely wondering why Mickey Mantle wasn't playing center and why the game wasn't being played at Ebbets Field.
WORD OF THE DAY
Nimiety - [nih-MYE-ə-tee] - noun
Definition: Excess, redundancy
Example: Does your basement contain a nimiety of crap for American Pickers?
WEATHER IN A WORD
THE NEW 60
a Jaffe Briefing exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun