The Jaffe Briefing will not publish from Thursday, May 21 to Tuesday, May 26. Enjoy the holiday weekend!

DOWN THE SHORE – Ready for the New York invasion? Brace yourself, people, as suddenly New Jersey will be the place to go for all those Manhattanites and Brooklynites who are typically too good to spend time here. With NYC’s beaches closed for swimming during the Memorial Day weekend – and ours gloriously open – there will be very little option for New Yorkers eager for sand and surf. New Yorkers can also go to the Hamptons or Connecticut – which we strongly suggest – but the beautiful beaches in Monmouth County are a relatively quick drive once you get through the tunnels. Might we suggest $50 daily badges to welcome our neighbors from the north?

TRENTON – There are plenty of online petitions in New Jersey these days, often pleas from teens who are begging for basic stuff, like to go to school or graduate in front of others. Another group on the short end of the stick are 17-year-old wannabe drivers, who happen to be perfect at parallel parking, but can’t get a driving test because of the virus. They’re circulating a petition, with 14,000 signatures, to date, hoping the state will waive the road test and let them drive. There’s also a pretty clever argument; the petition says: “the main reason that we’re pushing for this is to help people, whether it’s your parents or grandparents, to pick up things from the store they wouldn’t have access to in their own house, like grocery shopping and picking up medicine.” How altruistic. But the state’s not biting on this talking point, saying the proposal is “not currently under consideration.”

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TRENTON – With the welcomed stroke of a pen, you can now have a slightly dry martini delivered right to your door. Gov. Phil Murphy – not shaken or stirred – has agreed to legislation that allows bars to sell and deliver mixed drinks, as long as they are in sealed containers. You can also buy “cocktail kits” so you can mix your favorite drink at home. Sure, this is absolutely nothing like sitting at a bar with a friend or two, and watching a live game on TV. But, hey, it is something. And at least it gives our bars and distilleries a trickle of business after weeks of being shuttered.

BRIEFING BREATHER

There are nearly 28 million small businesses in America; 22 million comprise a lone employee.

VINELAND – Somehow, the Delsea Drive-in has survived decades of multiplexes and Netflix. And maybe it survived for this very moment, as the state’s only remaining drive-in movie theater is set to open on Friday. Not only will it open, but it looks it may also be getting some competition, NJ.com notes, as other drive-in theaters are cropping up, beginning in Franklin Lakes and Madison. It is still unclear why watching a movie in your car could possibly be better than on the 80-inch, high-def in your living room, steps from the kitchen and bathroom. But, hey, a night out is a night out.

ATLANTIC CITY – Bader Field is a storied and beloved place for locals. On Thursday, it was the site of an event that was both deflating and uplifting as the Community FoodBank of New Jersey and local unions distributed food to laid-off casino workers and residents. Over four hours, they handed out almost 4,000 emergency meal kits and 43,600 pounds of fresh produce to nearly 2,000 families. Who would bet against a city that has risen and fallen, fallen and risen as constantly as the tide that laps, or sometimes lashes, its shore? But, as NJ Spotlight reports, since Gov. Murphy’s lockdown order in March to try to hold back COVID-19, Atlantic City’s nine casinos have been shuttered, leaving some 27,000 employees out of work. Right now, no Jersey Shore town is more vulnerable than Atlantic City, which has the highest poverty rate in the state, at 37.7%. The obvious: Getting these casinos open for the summer season, in some way, is key.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

SCHWERIN, Germany – Strapping pool noodles on customers’ heads is the whimsical way that a cafe here is enforcing social distancing. Recently allowed to reopen its outdoor table service, the owner of Cafe & Konditorei Rothe in this German tourist town came up with this gimmick to keep patrons apart. She tells Insider that using multi-colored foam rolls is just a fun way to “enforce new hygiene rules,” and to make pandemic-panicky patrons and passersby “smile from ear to ear.” The worldwide publicity that her cafe is getting is also a big plus.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1971 that President Nixon rejects 60 demands of the Congressional Black Caucus.

WORD OF THE DAY

Exiguous – [ig-ZIG-yuh-wus] – adjective

Definition: excessively scanty, inadequate

Example: With Memorial Day quickly here, and the news getting lighter and lighter, expect this newsletter to get exiguous.

WIT OF THE DAY

"I’ve always been asked, ‘What is my favorite car?’ and I’ve always said ‘The next one.’"

-Carroll Shelby

TODAY'S TRUMPISM

“If you like automobils (sic), how can you vote for a Democrat who all want to get rid of cars, as soon as possible.”

- Donald J. Trump

 

WEATHER IN A WORD 

Seasonal