I am writing a letter in response to all of the emails and articles flying around our town about a couples' personal life. I am not here to take sides, nor defend one person or another. While I do know both of these people, my relationship to either one is not the issue.

I am not alone in feeling that the airing of dirty laundry of either person is beneficial to the progress of our town, or beneficial to the lives of the children involved in the situation. While friends are trying to rally and support by taking this public and loud, are they taking into account that these kids are able to hear and absorb these harsh words, whether from reading this stuff themselves, or hearing people in town talk, or worse, hearing their friends talk about their parents? Is it really beneficial to the children for them to hear horrible things about their parent? Is it really beneficial for them to hear the rebuttals from the other in defense? Is this going to help them get through the process of adapting to their parents no longer being married?

I understand that some of you want the Mayor to step down due to "lack of integrity". I understand that people want to know details of the Mayor's financial situation as they believe it effects the way he would operate in his position. I believe there are proper avenues to discuss those details. And I do believe that everyone has the power to vote for someone else in the next election if they are unhappy with the current Mayor.

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I understand that situations have changed, and the people involved are hurting. The people involved need to work it out, and the entire town of New Providence are not those people. People are adding fuel to the fire of a PERSONAL situation of which most are not a part of, but are including themselves in. Many people are getting these horrible emails, invitations to say more things, attend meetings and demand answers, and hearing about personal choices to quit jobs and so on. Most people are very sad about the situation, as nobody would wish for this to happen to anyone, let alone people they know. My heart breaks for my friend, and I wish this wasn't happening. But a lot of people are very uncomfortable with the personal nature of these events that they are all of a sudden forced to participate in. Regrettably, some enjoy the voyeurism of it all, and can't wait for the next installment. 

Again, I am not discussing sides, nor am I even discussing the people's right to know about the Mayors financial handlings. I am saying that this is probably not the best way to handle it no matter how you look at it. I just wish that people would consider what it would feel like if this were their children in this spotlight. I wonder if some would be ashamed to realize they might be having a negative impact on these kids, while they are "spreading the word". Acting in anger or revenge usually doesn't end on a positive note.

I am all for learning about the politicians in our town, and how it relates to the town I live in. If someone has something to say regarding how to make this town run better, then I would be willing to listen to it. If someone wants to gossip about the personal lives of people who live in this town, I don't want to be a participant. Yes, you could say "well, don't read the emails" but the point would be lost if you did. Even if I don't read them, they will still be out there, creating drama, sadness, humiliation, anger, and hurt in the lives these messages are about. 

I encourage you all to be an active participant in your town's PROGRESS. Keep it moving forward, not stalling progress. Let's clean up our act as a town by clearing the mud away. Support your friends in need in a personal way, not a public one.

P.S.  I would like to make it very clear that I, in no way, implied that Stephanie sent any emails, or encouraged people to act on her behalf. I have never heard her make any public statements regarding her ex-husband. There are many people, some claiming to be friends of Stephanie's, that have been acting out on her behalf and I believe this is having a negative impact on all parties. These are the people that left the implication that Stephanie is behind any attacks. Not me.

For a mother trying to keep her family out of the spotlight, these outspoken (sometimes anonymous) people are not only not helping the matter, they are doing this family a disservice.
 
If some of you believe you are just trying to oust the current Mayor, spend more time trying to find a viable forward thinking plan for our town. Trying to create a scene at a town meeting is not going to be progressive. It will be reality TV-worthy drama.