Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Today I am grateful for swimming suits that cooperate.  But when they don’t, oh my.


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I go through a lot of swimming suits because the chlorine eats them like a pac-man on speed.  I know that I can get one that will resist this from some on-line company but I keep forgetting the name and when I search I can’t find it.  So I got a new suit for $21 at Ross the other day.


I put the new one-piece on yesterday morning for the first time.  It fit pretty good at home, even though the top seemed a little bit larger that the “girls” are used to.  The bottom was tight, but I’ve already covered that control top issue so I figured it would be. 


It seemed great. . .at home.  It seemed great at the pool, too.  It seemed great when I got in the water. . .until I started to move.   As soon as I swung my leg it started to creep up.  You know where.  Each time I moved, it creeped further north.  It was peeling up my bottom like snake skin trying to shed. . . until it didn’t have anywhere else to go.  When one number was done I’d try to dig it out, but it was as if the spandex had adhered to my skin like a sheet of Elmer’s glue.  I could barely get a finger between skin and nightmare to pull.  Never in my life have I been more grateful for water.   I’m really happy that they “shock” the pool, I just don’t want to be the one who does it. 


I have spent most of my life roosching around trying keep my various items of clothing from creeping up into never-never land.  Why on earth would anyone wear a thong? I’m not real fond of that look on anyone, but on me. . .oh my.


Of course, I shared my dilemma with my friends.  I had to.  I needed “support” and asked one to get my sarong so I could put it on before I got out of the pool.  And I know those guards have their cell phones nearby.  I could wind up on a fat-lady-porn sight.  Yes I know they exist.  I found them when I went looking for a royalty-free-large-woman-thong picture to use.  Couldn’t use them.  Not pretty.  TOO personal.  I have no desire to be the next poster-pudge, nor a dimple-cheeked, thong-jammed, U-Tube sensation!


So tomorrow I’m going to wear a different suit. . .that fits. . .and stays put. . .because I’m beyond grateful when they do!