HARRISON TOWNSHIP – Try to wrap your head around this one: A woman is driving with her 27-year-old boyfriend Sunday morning somewhere in Gloucester County. At one point, the boyfriend gets out of the car, gets hit by another car, and later, he tragically dies. Meanwhile, as EMTs frantically try to save his life, the 25-year-old girlfriend is scouring the ambulance for something to steal, cops say. The Pitman woman finds the purse of one of the EMTs – who is otherwise distracted – and makes off with credit and debit cards, a driver's license and $120, its alleged. Following the shock of all this, cops charged her with theft. Funeral serves are Thursday, where there should be many purses lying around.

PATERSON – The city will soon wash its hands of a police officer who has spent the past nine years on paid leave, following claims, since dropped, that he had sex with a prisoner. But, as Manuel Avila waves goodbye, he will leave with a fat pension. The Paterson Press thinks this cop, who hasn’t walked a beat since George W. Bush was President, is looking at $70,000 a year in retirement benefits, courtesy of taxpayers. That’s more than twice what he would have received if just left when allegations first surfaced. Meanwhile, this whole case has cost Paterson about $2 million in salary, fees, etc. Hmmm. Any openings at the police academy?

LYNDHURST – A local cigar business could be going up in smoke, as state authorities pursue a store owner who apparently hasn’t paid $442,000 in state taxes over a four-year period. Authorities say the purveyor of Cigar Emporium stores in Lyndhurst and West Caldwell ignored sales and tobacco product taxes from 2012 to 2016. He also ignored state income taxes, as well as income tax returns for himself. He also never bothered to register one of his shops with the state Division of Taxation. The cigar shop owner plans to plead “not guilty.” The explanation should be fascinating.

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ATLANTIC CITY – Shhh.  That seems to be the hushed word from the mayor’s office, as the city’s deadline to follow the terms of a $73 million state loan quietly passed yesterday. The Press of AC reports the city was supposed to dissolve its Municipal Utility Authority as collateral for the loan. The City Council didn’t approve such an ordinance, the state has zero info on what it plans to do now and the mayor’s office has yet to hear anything from the state, at least as far as the Press of AC is aware. So, shhh.

IN THE MEDIA

STATEWIDE – With newspapers on life support, gobbled up by the likes of Gannett, the only area of growth in the news business appears to be online hyperlocal journalism. Sure, there is an endless news hole to fill every minute of the day, but it looks like TapInto.net has figured out a formula that is somehow bucking the trend in New Jersey. There are now 57 franchised news sites around the state, covering 75 towns, and TapInto just announced it had 713,339 unique visitors in September, breaking its former record of 651,001 in July. Perhaps journalism finally has found a future in NJ.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

READING, Ohio – With all this creepy talk about crazy clowns lurking in the woods, in strip mall parking lots and in public parks, one woman thought she found the perfect excuse for being late for work. WCPO-TV reports the 18-year-old woman is now being charged with making a false alarm, after she concocted some story of someone dressed like a clown jumping a fence Saturday, waving a knife at her and cutting her thumb. Hypersensitive cops were all over it, after an earlier report of a clown grabbing a woman by the throat and threatening Reading schools led to classes being canceled for the day.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

New York sports fans are still high-fiving, following a crazy trade on this day in 1991 in which the Rangers sent Bernie Nichols to Edmonton in exchange for superstar Mark Messier. He then led the Rangers to the Stanley Cup three years later. Ha!

WORD OF THE DAY

Vamoose  [vuh-MOOSS] – verb

Definition: To depart quickly

Example: The Vice Presidential candidates will debate at 9 p.m. tonight, and then vamoose.

WEATHER IN A WORD

Sixties