Dad in the Box

March 18, 2018

Two ducks are on a flight to Miami.  The first duck says to the second, “you flying south for the winter?”  The second duck replies, “Oh wow, a talking emotional support duck!”   Pa rum pum.   There have been a lot of news stories lately about animals traveling on airplanes.  Some are ...

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I don’t want to be on a first name basis with my refrigerator.   Oh don’t get me wrong, I am all for cool technology—when it works—but I draw the line at talking to appliances.  I have enough trouble carrying on conversations with humans.     But in what must be one of the truly great ...

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I am truly awed by the Olympics.  Watching these superb young athletes on TV inspires me to renew my membership to the gym and pursue my lifelong dream of taking home the gold.     The problem is that in my deluded head, I can see actually see myself standing atop the podium.  I am wrapped in ...

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Honey, I am going to take the Roadster out for a quick spin around the sun. I’ll be back in a few million years.   That’s nice dear. While you are out, could you pick up a gallon of milk?   In what has to be the greatest road trip of all time and space, Elon Musk, the visionary ...

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Donald J Trump @realDonaldTrump So great to see the weak and out of control NFL finally come together to make AMERICA FIRST IN THE SUPER BOWL thanks to my tremendous efforts. So why has no one asked me to throw out the first pitch? Sad. #MakeRomanNumeralsNumbersAgain.   Hey sports fans, ...

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In 2013 a man in the UK cleaned out his junk drawer and absently tossed an old hard drive dismantled from a Dell Computer into the trash.  The hard drive, rusting in landfill somewhere in Wales, contains 7500 bitcoins.     At the time, his staggering loss was about $4 million.  But if he had ...

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It is the beginning of January, which means college applications are due.   This is the time where high school seniors all across the country place their academic souls on the line and compete for spots in colleges and universities that reject more students than they accept.     And so, ...

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Seriously, Grinch?   I am standing in line at the checkout counter of our local grocery store.  An obviously perturbed woman and her young daughter are staring at my cart.  It contains twelve tubs of Edy’s Limited Edition Slow Churned Peppermint Ice Cream because I have just cleared out the ...

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The other day I was talking to our cat . . .   Hmmm.  It says here that dogs are smarter than cats. What are you reading, Mad Magazine? No seriously, this article in the Times claims that a scientific study conducted at Vanderbilt University recently discovered that dogs have twice as many ...

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I have a public admission to make.   I am the buyer who purchased Leonardo Da Vinci's Salvator Mundi at auction.    OK, I realize it is preposterous to think that I could pay 450 million dollars to purchase a piece of art.  After all, I know nothing about art.    And for $450 ...

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