Conversations with Joan Herrmann

February 14, 2020

To have a friend and be a friend is what makes life worthwhile. ~Unknown February is the month of the heart, the time when we celebrate love. We buy chocolate, flowers, jewelry, and greeting cards to profess our undying love to that special someone. But, in all the hoopla of the season, perhaps ...

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­ I was watching television recently when it happened … I saw the first commercial for the Valentine’s Day diamond collection – you know, the gift that every woman will treasure. As I listened to the music and watched as the camera panned the romantic setting, waves of emotion overcame me like a ...

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Did you know that you have 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day and that approximately 85 percent of those thoughts are negative AND 90 percent of those thoughts are the same thoughts you had the day before? The same thoughts equal the same choices, the same choices equal the same behavior, the ...

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I recently heard about the passing of a man to whom I was introduced when I had just created the Change Your Attitude … Change Your Life brand. I was unsure about how I would proceed. He had media experience and professional contacts and offered advice and support. He even introduced me to a few ...

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What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year. ~Vern McLellan We’re now a few weeks into a new year and as is tradition, we use this time as an opportunity to reflect on our life and set new goals. I’m sure you have seen this Brad Paisley quotation ...

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You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. ~ Buddah A few weeks ago I was invited to be the keynote speaker for a divorce recovery group. As I was getting ready to go on, the moderator opened the event by playing the Bruno Mars hit, Just the Way You ...

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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus Happy New Year! As another new year begins, I have spent hours pondering what I want my first message to be, as it sets the tone for the year ahead. As I reflected on 2019, and all the ...

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Have you ever experienced times when life seemed so hopeless that you felt like you were in a deep, dark hole and no matter how hard you tried or what you did, you couldn’t climb out? I have. I have actually spent a great deal of time in my hole. Being in that hole is the scariest feeling ...

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Don’t ask yourself why people keep hurting you, rather ask yourself why you’re allowing it to happen. Are you a giver? I am. I’ll do anything possible for anyone, anytime. I have spent most of my life taking care of others, putting myself second, and sometimes, third, fourth or fifth. After many ...

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Does this sound familiar? You’re having a particularly stressful day and someone does something that you perceive to go against your belief or what you are trying to accomplish. Rather than finding out the facts or taking time to cool off, you immediately pick up the phone and call the person or ...

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This time of year, from Thanksgiving through the New Year celebration, is a season that provides for us the opportunity to stop our busy lives for a moment and give thanks for our many gifts and blessings; it’s a time of birth and renewal. No matter what your religion or belief structure, it’s a ...

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For the past few weeks, I have been the recipient of repeated hurtful actions and when I communicated my feelings with each perpetrator, the same response was offered, “It wasn’t my intention.” The frequency and flippancy of this explanation has gotten me to thinking about accountability, and ...

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This past August marked the seventh anniversary of my divorce. Growing up, just like most people, when I envisioned marriage, I saw the “they lived happily ever after” ending. Divorce was not in my frame of reference. My parents were married 56 years at the time of my father’s passing, and my ...

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How we feel about ourselves dictates the way we live life. It impacts the way we approach just about every thing we do. Yet, sadly, many people struggle to believe in their worth and abilities. Throughout my life, my levels of self-confidence have ebbed and flowed. Growing up I was an overweight ...

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Fear is one of the most powerful forces in life. It affects the decisions we make and the actions we take. And while the primary role of fear is to keep us safe, it often becomes the obstacle that stands between us and our dreams and goals. There are rational fears, the ones that are based in ...

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We all experience trauma in one form or another. It may be at the hands of an abuser, a relationship breakup, a health diagnosis, or the death of a loved one. No one is immune. I recently had the opportunity to speak with Dr. James Gordon, author of the book, The Transformation: Discovering ...

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In early December of 2017, a chef friend called me and during our conversation, it somehow came up that we should figure out a way to feed families in need during the holidays. I’m not even sure how we got on the topic, we were probably joking about it, but that discussion got me thinking that ...

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We live in a fast paced world, seldom taking the time to catch our breath. Add to the general stress of life, a significant event such as losing a loved one, getting fired from a job, going through a divorce, or another difficult situation, and you have a recipe for emotional overload. Emotional ...

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What makes happy people happy? Why is someone who goes through a tragedy or lives in a horrible situation happy, while others who seem to have it all are miserable? I believe that true and lasting happiness is being able to tap into a deep state of peace and well-being within us, that doesn’t ...

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Joan touches upon something very dear to my heart: how we treat our parents and seniors in our lives. I made a decision 20 years before my mother’s death never to get frustrated with her—never again, I should say. This is a wonderful reminder to pay attention to older individuals around ...

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Ok, so every once in a while, I really, really, really…really-really-really feel Joan’s column. In a generic sense, this very thing happened in my life last week. Notice I didn’t say “happened to me.” I had an incident last week where I did rely on my professional instincts as a journalist. At ...

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I think we all struggle, at times, to understand who is a true friend. We are in a time where judgment just plain stinks. But, you have to have a standard. And, that requires judgment. That judgment is about protection, it’s about who may hurt you and who you can discern will not. Age old question, ...

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This week, Joan talks about her choice, and there’s been at least one big one, since her divorce seven years ago. I decided it was best to let her talk, no questions needed. Joan: According to Terry Orbuch, author of Finding Love Again, there are more than 100 million single adults in the United ...

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Joan: “You’re fat!” “You’re stupid!” “You don’t have the right education!” “You’ll never be able to get the promotion!” “No man will ever want you!” “You’re old!” “She doesn’t like you!” “You’re ugly!” “You can’t do anything right!” Do any of these words sound familiar? While most people would ...

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Old memories can be wonderful, and, they can be difficult. Remembering a old rough relationship with a family member can remind us of how good we have it currently. Joan talks about an old TV show reminded her of times past and how much better her life is now. Joan: One of my friends stopped by ...

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Intuition can be a tricky thing, mostly because we sometimes push it aside. Afterall, it warns us…and maybe we don’t want to hear that warning. Joan had an experience many of us have had: pushing past her intuition only to learn her gut was right all along. Joan: Throughout the last decade, my ...

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Joan: Do you have one person in your life that really irks you? No matter what you say or do, this person has the ability to totally ruin your day, or in some cases, your month, year, and even life! I know I do. Q. Wow, someone got to you. Sorry to hear that Joan. But you’re not alone. I think ...

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Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up. ~Jesse Jackson While we are all a part of a bigger picture, sometimes we feel small and lonely or even less than another who may boast about accomplishments. Joan talks about turning your small part in this universe into a beautiful big ...

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Most of us set goals for ourselves, but more often than not, we do it during the beginning of the year in the spirit of starting anew. What about if we take the ‘lazy, hazy days of summer’ to re-energize those goals? Joan gives us great tips to move forward on any goal with positive ...

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There are times when all of us feel a bit down or, not right, frankly. Joan has advice for those times. Joan: I am a firm believer that when you are going through a difficult situation or experiencing pain, one of the best ways to promote healing is to help another person. Taking the focus ...

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