Health & Wellness

Guest Column

Hellenic Therapy Center


What Is People Pleasing?

By Hellenic Therapy Center

As you were growing up you may not have learned how to take good care of yourself.  In fact, much of your attention may have been in taking care of others or on just getting by.  People Pleasing is a term that refers to taking care of others’ needs rather than taking care of ourselves.

Sign Up for E-News

People often confuse “people pleasing” with being unselfish and make comments such as “I am not a selfish person”.  However, always putting other people’s needs before your own can exhaust you.  By caring for others at your own expense, you are inviting illness, depression, stress and other illnesses.  Always doing for others when you really wish you could say “no” instead of “yes” sets up resentment.  We begin to feel angry and resentful especially when we ask that particular person for a favor in return, and they cannot accommodate us. Self care is about honoring ourselves, and in doing so we say to ourselves and to everyone else: I matter.  The other extreme is being selfish.   Being completely selfish requires always putting your needs first and foremost, even stepping on others to get what you want.  What we do recommend is “self interest or self care” and what this means is taking good care of yourself, even putting your needs first at times, while considering the needs of others. The best balance in relationships is to give and receive.  Your own needs, desires and ideas are just as important as anyone else’s. 

Self-care is about honoring ourselves and our potential.  Women are even more prone to struggle with this notion because they have historically been encouraged to put the needs of others before their own.  Not practicing self care has a price.

Begin today to take good care of yourself. Take time to do things you enjoy, give yourself rewards, take time to exercise, eat healthy, enroll in a yoga class, art class, spend time with people who make you feel good and practice saying “ NO”. Those who have a problem saying “NO” have difficulty affirming themselves and exercising their ability to form and maintain personal boundaries. The inability to say “NO” may be linked to the self esteem you think you earn buy doing things for others.  Since your self esteem seems to depend on the things that you do for other people, your reluctance to say “NO” is understandable. When people say “YES” when they really want to say “NO”, self esteem erodes.  Such behavior conveys the attitude, “your feelings are more important than mine.”  Pay close attention to your own needs and wants and listen to your “inner voice”.

At the Hellenic Therapy Center we strive to promote a healthy self esteem.  We have a team of licensed professionals specializing in individual, family, child, adolescent and couples therapy. We are available day, evening and weekends.  Please visit or call 908-322-0112.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of or anyone who works for is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer. Click here to submit a Guest Column.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News


East Brunswick: I Don't Wanna Close Up, I'm a Toys-R-Us Kid

March 16, 2018

EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ - East Brunswick used to be the home of Meyer's toy store, an almost idyllic wonderland of all sorts of Barbies, parts for swimming pools, and clanging model trains until it closed in 2002.  Kay-Bee toy store was a popular stop at the Brunswick Square Mall until 2009, with a salesperson often displaying the newest gadget outside its door, causing eager kids ...


Piscataway – Reinhard Rudolf Kiefer, 85, died Sunday March 11, 2018 at home. Born in ...
Read more
Piscataway, NJ – Manuela Cruz, 94, born July 17, 1923, passed away peacefully on March 8, ...
Read more

12th Annual Interfaith Conference – Women in Islam on March 25

March 23, 2018

 MONROE, NJ -  Muslims for Peace, Inc. proudly announces the presentation of the 12th Annual Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) Interfaith Conference – Women in Islam: A Dialogue.

The Conference will be held on Sunday, March 25, 2018 at Rutgers’ Cook Campus Student Center, 54 Biel Road, New Brunswick, NJ 08901. This year’s Conference will be hosted by Anisa Diab and ...

Middlesex County Young Republicans Host "Road to Victory" Event at the Green Turtle

NORTH BRUNSWICK, NJ -  Middlesex County Young Republican Chairman John Steiner would like to announce the Middlesex County Young Republicans "Road to Victory" Reception, which will take place on March 22 at the Green Turtle in North Brunswick from 7:30 PM to 9:30 PM.

This event will serve as the official launch for the 2018 campaign season for the Middlesex ...

Free Program for People with Diabetes Offered in Piscataway

Are you a person with Medicare living with diabetes or know someone who is? Take control of your health through a free and fun six-week workshop series.

Meet others going through similar experiences and learn about diabetes and its risks, preventing complications, healthy eating, exercise, medication management, dealing with stress and depression, action planning, and much more. Graduates from ...

Hillary Clinton coming to Rutgers, event moved to RAC to handle crowd

NEW BRUNSWICK – Rutgers University’s Eagleton Institute of Politics will host former presidential nominee Hillary Rodham Clinton on March 29.

Originally scheduled for the College Avenue Gym, the event, entitled “A Conversation with the Honorable Hillary Rodham Clinton,” has been moved to the Rutgers Athletic Center “due to the extraordinary level of ...

Holy Savior Academy Storm Varsity Basketball News

The Holy Savior Academy Storm Varsity basketball team concluded a very successful season by capturing two championships over the weekend.  The Storm continued the basketball program’s winning ways when the team captured the school’s fourth consecutive Diocese of Metuchen CYM Varsity White Division Championship on its home court on Saturday evening.  The team then secured the ...

Upcoming Events


Sat, March 24, 11:00 AM

Piscataway Little League Fields, Piscataway

Annual Piscataway Easter Egg Hunt

Arts & Entertainment

Sat, March 24, 12:00 PM

Middlesex County College - Center Cafe C, Edison

Mission 22 United in the War Against Veteran ...

Sat, March 24, 8:00 PM

State Theatre New Jersey , New Brunswick

Motown the Musical

Arts & Entertainment

Sun, March 25, 8:00 AM

St. Francis Episcopal Church, Dunellen

Palm Sunday

Religions And Spirituality

Sun, March 25, 8:00 PM

State Theatre New Jersey , New Brunswick

Motown the Musical

Arts & Entertainment

Springfield Fire Department Delivers Baby on West I-78

March 21, 2018

SPRINGFIELD, NJ - On March 20, 2018 at 8:14 a.m. the Springfield Fire Department was dispatched to Route 78 Westbound near milepost 50.2 for a report of a woman in labor on the side of the road.  

Captain Mastroeni (Unit 2) & Chief Palumbo (Unit 1) were the first units to arrive on scene, and quickly recognized that the woman would be unable to make it to the hospital in time for ...

Coffee, Tea or Fleas?

Two ducks are on a flight to Miami.  The first duck says to the second, “you flying south for the winter?”  The second duck replies, “Oh wow, a talking emotional support duck!”


Pa rum pum.


There have been a lot of news stories lately about animals traveling on airplanes.  Some are humorous, like the woman who recently tried to bring ...