Other NJ News

Labor Dispute at North Pole Could Slay Christmas

4351656b5fa0cc36b43c_rudolph_santa.jpg
Santa and Rudolph in suburbia Credits: momknowsbest.com
4351656b5fa0cc36b43c_rudolph_santa.jpg

PLAINFIELD, NJ -   According to recent reports issued by the Arctic Gazette, the flying reindeer (not reindeers!) employed by one seasonal philanthropist Santa Claus of 9 Candycane Lane, West North Pole, are embroiled in a labor dispute regarding their placement in the formation that hauls Claus's sleigh worldwide on Christmas Eve.

Eight reindeer literally have their antlers in a knot over the consistent placement of Rudolph, a nontenured relative newcomer to the sleigh team, who has claimed the lead position since a popular song by Johnny Marks and performed by Country-Western (well, Western, anyway) artist Gene Autry made him famous in 1949.  Before that time, Rudolph's nose prohibited from playing in the popular reindeer games in which the flying animals compete for prominent placement in the sleigh team.

Donner, who formerly held the lead position, first raised the objection to Rudolph, claiming that the red-nosed caribou had the "navigational skills of a birthday party balloon."  Donner is leading a union complain against Claus for not following seniority rules in this matter and for undermining the seriousness of the reindeer games and the endorsements that follow reindeer athletes that follow success in the games.  The Elf Street Journal announced last week that Nike had pulled Donner from their "Winged Victory" ads and have compelled the beast to have the copyrighted "swoosh" removed from his hooves.

Sign Up for E-News

Complaining about Rudolph's "lack of grace and clumsy leaps," Prancer and Dancer also jingled their bells and snorted when asked about the lead reindeer at the North Pole's Annual Hanukkah Party, a popular event scheduled at presumably random dates in December.  At that time, Prancer reminded Dancer that too many latkes could impede anyone's ability to jump and fly.

As expected, Biltzen was also at the party.  When asked to comment, his response was unintelligible.  Claus once asked Blitzen to navigate the sleigh and the reindeer wound up delivering Easter eggs just in time for St. Patrick's Day.

Comet and Dasher, undoubtedly the fastest of the reindeer and gold medalists at the reindeer games, did not linger to answer questions. Their comments on Twitter included #FasterThanRudy and #TiredOfLookingAtHisTail and are trending.

Vixen and Cupid agreed that while "Rudolph is, like, really, really totally hot and everything" that would like "a look from the front of the line this year" so that they could "like, see some stuff."

Followers of the sleigh trade have recorded these bitter labor issues in the Claus camp for 67 years now and predict little change.  Says economist O. Tannenbaum, "Look, the kid has a red nose that glows.  It's a hit."

Christmas is likely to proceed as usual around the world, with perhaps a bit of kvetching in the line-up.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

Sign Up for E-News

Plainfield

You Meet the Most Amazing People on the Trail

The weather cooperated this weekend, so I went for more than one hike. After all, there are only just over fifty days before my walk to Maine commences, so why not.

This Saturday, some friends dragged me away from housecleaning (thank you!) for a quick jaunt through Watchung Reservation.  While we were there, we ran into two individuals from Westfield; the cosplayers introduced themselves ...

Go Take a Walk

Friday, March 30 was Take a Walk in the Park Day, so I did.  I really didn't have an excuse to not do so; the sun was shining, I had the day off, and I had no plans for the rest of the day.  So after a session with Abbe, my trainer at LifeTime Fitness, I made the short trip to Lake Surprise in Watchung Reservation. 

As I made my way around the lake, it was easy to see how ...

Upcoming Events

Carousel_image_f81187da64c60de383ac_carefree_fridays

Fri, April 20, 6:00 PM

Plainfield High School, Plainfield

Carefree Fridays: Bridging the Gap with Law ...

Arts & Entertainment Police & Fire

Fri, April 20, 7:00 PM

Shiloh Baptist Church, Plainfield

Shiloh Baptist Church - 2018 Women's Conference ...

Religions And Spirituality

Carousel_image_76b50dcb673435ebd963_hkd_webbanner_300x250_e

Sat, April 21, 11:30 AM

Plainfield YMCA, Plainfield

Plainfield YMCA Healthy Kids Day

Health & Wellness

Gallery Reception to Showcase Sherman Feller’s Photography

April 20, 2018

SCOTCH PLAINS, NJ -- The public is invited to the Scotch Plains Public Library to view the photography of Sherman Feller. There will be an artists’ reception which the public is welcome to attend on Sunday, May 6 at from 1-3 pm.  Registration is not required for the reception.

Feller has exhibited six times at the Scotch Plains Library and at the Malamut Art Gallery, the Pearl ...

Op-Ed: New Jersey’s Out-of-Network Bill is a huge blow to the middle-class

April 5, 2018

As Trenton currently looks to balance the budget, once again it’s our state’s hardest working citizens who will be left holding the bag. This time, though, it will be the hardworking office and ancillary staff from our small business private medical practices.  A bill called “The Out-of-Network Consumer Protection Bill” A-2039/S-485 looks poised to make ...

More Than Just Kindness for Roxbury Student Adored by Tragically Killed Boy

April 17, 2018

ROXBURY, NJ – She lost her 10-year-old son three years ago in a boating accident on Lake Hopatcong, but Laurie D’Amico is sure her beloved Christopher speaks to her all the time. It’s subtle but firm, she says; messages that come as sparks of recollection, inspiration or intuition.

One of those unexpected inklings led Laura and her husband Chris to a jewelry ...

Blood Drive en Plainfield High School el viernes

April 12, 2018

PLAINFIELD, NJ - Un esfuerzo de sangre se llevará a cabo el viernes en Plainfield High School en asociación con la Cruz Roja Americana.

¿Alguna vez se ha preguntado qué le sucede a la pinta de sangre que dona?

Según la Cruz Roja, la donación se almacena en refrigeradores helados hasta que se transporta a un centro de la Cruz Roja y se escanea en una ...

Springtime Advice from Rapps Pharmacy

April 17, 2018

It may not feel like spring, but that spring weather is right around the corner and so is allergy season!  Here is some friendly advice from Rapps Pharmacy, your neighborhood pharmacy:

Combating the Allergy Season

As seasons change and pollen counts rise, more and more people clash with the aggravating symptoms of seasonal allergies. Beginning in February and lasting into early summer, ...

Featured Business: NJ Printing & Embroidery LLC

Featured Business: NJ Printing & Embroidery LLC

Nestled in the heart of Plainfield is NJ Printing & Embroidery, a family-owned business providing digital screen printing and embroidery for custom shirts, caps and other items.

The company also offers custom printed business cards, fliers, banners and storefront vinyls, and can provide expert graphic art design upon request.

Eric ...

'The Sting' shimmers and shakes at Paper Mill

‘The Sting ‘slithers and shakes at Paper Mill Playhouse

By LIZ KEILL

MILLBURN, NJ – In a premiere production of “The Sting,” Harry Connick Jr. commands the Paper Mill Playhouse stage in Millburn.

Based on the sensational Paul Newman/Robert Redford film in 1973, the 1930s plot centers on a con game and gambling, sometimes on a train between New York and ...

Retro Review: Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo

Retro Review: Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo (Citadel Press, 1970)

 

How does a reviewer do justice to a book called “the great American novel”? I first read Johnny Got His Gun during the Viet Nam war, when young people, nationwide, were protesting fighting in a war that was a senseless waste of life; a war in which the United States had no business participating.

The Truth About My Reading

The Truth About My Reading

I didn't get my Composition and Literature teacher at Montclair State College at all. A crusty old man with a dour disposition, Mr. Smith always seemed angry and rude. He appropriately intimidated freshmen, even me, an English major, who found this common core course beneath my dignity. Frankly, as a graduate of Highland Park High School, and a survivor of Mrs.

The German Girl

The German Girl by Armando Lucas Correa (Washington Square Press, 2016)

For each of the twelve million victims murdered during World War II there is a gutwrenching story to be told. I have read hundreds of memoirs, biographies, plays, and novels that recount the stories of the martyrs; some are exceptional, some are fair. The German Girl by Armando Lucas Correa, an award-winning journalist, ...

The Skin Collector

The Skin Collector by Jeffery Deaver (Grand Central, 2014)

Jack the Ripper. The Boston Strangler. The Texas Watchtower Killer. The Zodiac Killer. The Angel of Death. The Butcher. BTK. The police and the press have a long history of dubbing serial killers with names that catch the attention of the public, usually having the effect of instilling greater fear and selling more print media so that ...

Queen Mary and the Cruiser

Queen Mary and the Cruiser by David A. Thomas and Patrick Holmes (Naval Institute Press, 1997)

“Had the forenoon watch and after eating went out onto the fo'c'sle. Just arrived at the top of the ladder by the PO's heads when the wave hit me---waist high---and knocked me over. Looking astern---through the bulkhead door which was open, saw the stern of a ship sticking up out of ...

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (Random House, 1965)

 

In Cold Blood is, quite simply, the grand-daddy of true crime writing, dubbed by Capote, himself, as the first non-fiction novel (although Norman Mailer argued the point when he published The Executioner's Song in 1979.) The conditions under which I read In Cold Blood for the first time were pretty weird, which was another ...